rh@craycos.com (Robert Herndon) (08/03/90)
Hello, this is John "Bass-o-matic" Apathy, bringing you the lowlites of the 1990 World Open Fish Stew Competition. The competition this year is quite fierce, with many groups submitting tasty variations on traditional recipe favorites such as mmyoo salad, cash access stew, interconnect chop suey, and newer time saving recipes such as reduced ingredient soup. Attendees report of many interesting innovations and new commercial and research recipes with great potential. This years competition has been disturbed, however, by an altercation between Tria Spawn, a chef from the Institute for LCD Nutrition, and Letsavy Fork, a researcher at the Institute for Elegant Eating. Fork insists that the traditional utensils for the consumption of fish stew, forks and knives, and the practice of tipping the bowl to finish those portions not easily consumed using a fork are entirely adequate, if not elegant. Though he regrets the indelicacy of tipping the bowl, and acknowledges that a concave utensil might alleviate this, he has been unable to locate engineers capable of creating such a device, due to limitations in design and materials. Spawn, on the other hand, insists that tipping the bowl is utterly unnatural, that his new utensil with a concave surface is required for any sort of practical nutrition, and that the fork and knife are entirely inadequate. Towards this end, he insists that all passers by taste his tantalizing stew with one of his "spawns". While attempting to consume some of Spawn's stew, Fork seriously cut his lip on the sharp protuberances on the prototype spawn, and was doubly insulted to find that the stew had leaked out through the holes in the bottom of the spawn, staining his suit. Spawn responded ungraciously to Fork, claiming that Fork had held it all wrong, failing to maintain the 31 degree pitch and the 18 degree roll required for its trap doors to hold fluid. A fight broke out shortly after this. While they were immediately separated, they have since, however, sullied the air with epithets at regular intervals, annoying many of the attendees, who prefer to ignore the utensils issue altogether, or at least discuss it at the 1990 comp.os forum. -- Cray Computer Corporation 719/540-4240 1110 Bayfield Dr. rh@craycos.com Colorado Springs, CO 80906 "Ignore these three words." USA
peter@ficc.ferranti.com (Peter da Silva) (08/05/90)
Boy, have you guys ever heard of "Easi-eaters"? In article <1990Aug2.214621.12596@craycos.com> rh@craycos.com (Robert Herndon) writes: > A fight broke out shortly after this. While they were > immediately separated, they have since, however, sullied > the air with epithets at regular intervals, annoying many > of the attendees, who prefer to ignore the utensils issue > altogether, or at least discuss it at the 1990 comp.os forum. ... meanwhile, most attendees continue to eat their stew with $500,000 robotic utensils that require a 1.21 gigawatt backpack power supply... efforts at miniturising "Mr Fusion" portable energy reactors to fit easily into anything smaller than a customised deLorean are underway. -- Peter da Silva. `-_-' +1 713 274 5180. 'U` <peter@ficc.ferranti.com>
chris@softway.sw.oz.au (Chris Maltby) (08/06/90)
In <1990Aug2.214621.12596@craycos.com> rh@craycos.com (Robert Herndon) writes: > Hello, this is John "Bass-o-matic" Apathy, bringing you the >lowlites of the 1990 World Open Fish Stew Competition. >The competition this year is quite fierce, with many groups >submitting tasty variations on traditional recipe favorites >such as mmyoo salad, cash access stew, interconnect chop suey, >and newer time saving recipes such as reduced ingredient soup. >Attendees report of many interesting innovations and new >commercial and research recipes with great potential. It's all very well for someone from Cray (a bit fishy in itself) to post such an incisive (get it) article about spawning forks. They can afford to take the high moral ground, because Cray never swallowed that bull about COW. Ugh. -- Chris Maltby - Softway Pty Ltd (chris@softway.sw.oz) PHONE: +61-2-698-2322 UUCP: uunet!softway.sw.oz.au!chris FAX: +61-2-699-9174 INTERNET: chris@softway.sw.oz.au