[net.nlang] "while" vs. "compared with"

lew (01/14/83)

brunix!gh suggested using the sentence:

"This year's production is 17,500, while last year's was only 13,000."

instead of:

"This year's production is 17,500, compared with 13,000 last year."

This use of "while" is condemned in "The Elements of Style" by
Strunk & White. They say that "while" should be only be used to
relate events which actually happen at the same time.

I suggest the following:

"This year's production is 17,500. Never mind last year's."

Lew Mammel, Jr. ihuxr!lew

thomas (01/15/83)

How about "this years production was 5, whereas last year, we produced
a whopping total of 2.7"?
=Spencer

mmt (01/15/83)

Surely the appropriate replacement for a misused "while" is
usually "whereas"? For example:
"This year's production is 17,500, while last year's was only 13,000."
should be
"This year's production is 17,500, whereas last year's was only 13,000."
		Martin Taylor

zrm (01/16/83)

Most business publications I've seem use the following contruct:

	Production this year is 17,500, up from 13,000 last year.

or

	...17,500, up 4,500 from last year's total.

I guess comparison words don't work too well when dealing with the
same statistic at two different times.