[net.nlang] Murphy biographers, language freaks, and others that clog net.jokes

ebl@mhuxv.UUCP (LEVINE) (11/16/84)

Will all of the people posting stuff on the subjects of Murphy and the
translation of jokes into alternate languages please owe up to being 
considerate of others on the net by using the proper net groups?

Really folks you are being most rude to those of us who just want a
good laugh.  Please keep these discussions to:

	net.jokes.d - Discussions on the content of net.jokes articles
	net.nlang - Natural languages, cultures, heritages, etc.

Thank you !!!

Now, for my friends on net.jokes .... (those in other groups hit BREAK)
WARNING: May be offensive to TONTO freaks 
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	Tonto met the Lone Ranger when he was just a young brave.  He was
greatly impressed with the masked man's experiences in the outside world
and went with him to learn and see new things.


	Well the Lone Ranger was sort of a strange character, riding around
on a white horse (good target), wearing a mask (legitimate target), and never
sticking around to take a bow...  hmmm the mask was probably made of leather
too..	Well he had this habit, you see, of telling horney stories around
the campfire and this had a not so strange effect on the young Indian.  One
day in the middle of a story Tonto interupted the masked man:

	"Kemosabi !!  Tonto have great need !!!  GREAT NEED Kemosabi"

	The Lone Ranger said that he understood and would help Tonto the
next time they were near a town.  After several weeks, several towns, and
many more campfire stories the unfulfilled Tonto demanded that the Lone
Ranger keep his promise.

	"Let's see..", said the Lone Ranger,"you'll need some money.  Here
take six of my silver bullets, they're good anywhere.. and you'll need the
address of a 'special' house in town".  Giving these things to the young brave
the Lone Ranger sent him off and wished him well.


	Tonto arrived in town and went and knocked on the door of the house
that the masked man had specified.  When the madam of the house answered her
first thought was "my God an Indian!  If I service him no other white man
around will come in here!".  "What do you want Indian?!", she demanded.

	"Tonto have great need !!  great need !!", replied the brave.

	"Well do you have any money to pay me?", the madam asked.

	Tonto held out his hand and showed her the six silver bullets.

	"Yea Gods", she thought, "I've got to get rid of this guy".  "Well tell
me Indian, do you have much experience, I mean after all my girls expect alot!"

	Tonto looked down at his moccasins and shook his head, "No, Tonto
have no experience".  "Ha", she laughed, "Well I'll tell you what Indian,
there's a tree on the outside of town that has a hole in just the right
spot.  You go and get some experience and we'll see what we can do for you".

	A week later there was a knock at the door.  The madam was surprised
but before she could say a word Tonto held up his hand an exclaimed "Tonto
still have great need,  Tonto still have six silver bullets,  and now
Tonto have EXPERIENCE !!".  Knowing that she had no good argument now for
refusing service, the madam told the Indian to come inside quickly and taking
the six silver bullets sent Tonto upstairs.  "First room on the right, her
name is Marie", she said as the Indian bolted up the steps.

	Not five minutes passed when she heard screams coming from Marie's
room.  Grabing a loaded shotgun from the hall closet, the madam climbed the
steps and kicked the door to Marie's room open only to find Tonto hitting
the woman with a broom.  "Are you crazy, what the heck do you think your
doing !!!", she demanded.

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"Tonto have experience !!   Tonto check for bees !!!"


			Eli Levine @ AT&T Summit N.J.

I know its old, but I thought you'd like a rerun.