msb@lsuc.UUCP (Mark Brader) (04/22/85)
I've had my name misspelled many ways in the past, but never before have I seen what came on some junk mail this morning: Mark's Brader Sounds like a British place name. Of course, if you read "'s" as a contraction of "is", it's a true sentence. Mark S. Brader
al@mot.UUCP (Al Filipski) (04/25/85)
My favorite example of pseudo-personalized word processing was a piece
of mail addressed to my friend, Thomas W. Whalen III. It was an
invitation to enter a sweepstakes and began:
Dear Mr. Iii:
Imagine your neighbors' surprise when you and the entire Iii family
drive home in your new Pontiac...
--------------------------------
Alan Filipski, UNIX group, Motorola Microsystems, Tempe, AZ U.S.A
{allegra|ihnp4}!sftig!mot!al OR {seismo|ihnp4}!ut-sally!oakhill!mot!al
ucbvax!arizona!asuvax!mot!al
--------------------------------
You may already be a wiener.john@x.UUCP (John Woods) (04/29/85)
> My favorite example of pseudo-personalized word processing was a piece > of mail addressed to my friend, Thomas W. Whalen III. It was an > invitation to enter a sweepstakes and began: > > Dear Mr. Iii: > Imagine your neighbors' surprise when you and the entire Iii family > drive home in your new Pontiac... > The Department Head of my high school's math department, Stan Fredrickson, used to get lots of junk mail addressed to various perversions of the line "Stan Fredrickson, Math Department Head". His absolute favorite, which he posted on his office wall, was an advertisement from TIME Magazine, which looked like a huge award plaque addressed to MR MATH -- John Woods, Charles River Data Systems, Framingham MA, (617) 626-1101 ...!decvax!frog!john, ...!mit-eddie!jfw, jfw%mit-ccc@MIT-XX.ARPA The above opinions are those exclusively of superior beings. If you don't share them, I'm not surprised.
mgh@hou5h.UUCP (Marcus Hand) (04/30/85)
OK, these two are nothing to do with pseudo-personalized (yechhh) word processing circular mail... But they kinda fit the category. I once had a letter addressed to "My Hand" and my handwriting isn't that bad! Sometimes it makes me wonder who is employed to type envelopes in big corporations... The other is from a medium sized software house I used to work for. One of my colleagues, named Steve Holdship, had been doing a proposal for a french company (in France) and had spoken several times by phone to people there. Eventually, someone sent him the travel details and addressed the letter to..... Mr S. Oldsheep. And its true -- he was proudly showing the letter around the office. A kind of educated typo, that one! -- Marcus Hand (hou5h!mgh)
evan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus) (04/30/85)
My father is an Optometrist (an OD), and somehow got on a series of mailing
lists as Dr. Od. We got several of those delightfully personal letters
addressed that way. You know... "...the Od family may have already won..."!
--Evan Marcus
--
{ucbvax|decvax}!vax135!petsd!pedsgd!pedsga!evan
...!petfe!evan
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who divide people into two
kinds, and those who don't.bobm@rtech.ARPA (Bob Mcqueer) (04/30/85)
[]--- As a student, as used to live in a place called the "Wesley House", and I handled the treasury / mail, etc. The letters addressed to "Mr. Wesley House" used to yield me a snicker or two, especially those inquiring after the welfare of "Mrs. House and all the little Houses" prior to hawking insurance. Bob McQueer amdahl!rtech!bobm
costin_2@h-sc1.UUCP (dan costin) (05/01/85)
*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE *** So is everyone ready to find out what MY favorite typo is? We had this teacher back in high school. He was in the Soc. Stud. department. And he had this piece of junk mail come to the school one day, which, as a greeting just had... Dear Mr. Stud: -dc
nemo@rochester.UUCP (Wolfe) (05/01/85)
> > Dear Mr. Iii: > > Imagine your neighbors' surprise when you and the entire Iii family > > drive home in your new Pontiac... > > > MR MATH We have gotten an inordinate amount of mail sent to Prof. Tba here at the CS dept. Nemo -- Internet: nemo@rochester.arpa UUCP: {decvax, allegra, seismo, cmcl2}!rochester!nemo Phone: [USA] (716) 275-5766 work, 232-4690 home USMail: 104 Tremont Circle; Rochester, NY 14608 School: Department of Computer Science; University of Rochester; Rochester, NY 14627
cjh@petsd.UUCP (Chris Henrich) (05/02/85)
[] Once upon a time, the Institute for Defense Analyses in Princeton received a letter addressed to Mr. Defense and promising a very wonderful insurance/savings program individually tailored to the needs of the Defenses of Princeton. Regards, Chris -- Full-Name: Christopher J. Henrich UUCP: ..!(cornell | ariel | ukc | houxz)!vax135!petsd!cjh US Mail: MS 313; Perkin-Elmer; 106 Apple St; Tinton Falls, NJ 07724 Phone: (201) 758-7288
dickey@ssc-vax.UUCP (Frederick J Dickey) (05/02/85)
Years ago I read an article about "Joe Blow, Therapist".
Of course Joe Blow wasn't the guy's name, but I don't remember
what it was. It was a very long name and that's important
to the story. Mr. Blow's name got on a mailing list .
He got a letter with a computer generated mailing label.
The label program was designed to wrap around if one of the
lines of the address was too long. Mr Blow's name was too
long so the label started out:
Joe Blow, The
rapist
Mr Blow was quite upset about this. According to the article,
Mr Blow sued and won.doug@terak.UUCP (Doug Pardee) (05/03/85)
Many years ago, when computers were called "electronic brains" and
"Univacs" and the tallest building in New York was the Empire State
Building, Reader's Digest reported that a computer-personalized form
letter had been received by a certain New York company, addressed to
Mr. Intl B. MacHines
--
Doug Pardee -- Terak Corp. -- !{ihnp4,seismo,decvax}!noao!terak!dougdwight@timeinc.UUCP (Dwight Ernest) (05/04/85)
> ...an advertisement from TIME magazine, which looked like a > huge wall plaque addressed to > MR MATH It figures. Note: Our group has nothing to do with such things. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- --Dwight Ernest KA2CNN \ Usenet:...vax135!timeinc!dwight Time Inc. Edit./Prod. Tech. Grp., New York City Voice: (212) 554-5061 \ Compuserve: 70210,523 Telemail: DERNEST/TIMECOMDIV/TIMEINC \ MCI: DERNEST "The opinions expressed above are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Time Incorporated." -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
mercury@ut-ngp.UUCP (Larry E. Baker) (05/05/85)
[oh, GOD, not again!] > > MR MATH > It figures. I'll bet there are a number of responses to that. -- - Larry Baker @ The University of Texas at Austin - ... {seismo!ut-sally | decvax!allegra | tektronix!ihnp4}!ut-ngp!mercury - ... mercury@ut-ngp.ARPA
royt@gitpyr.UUCP (Roy M. Turner) (05/08/85)
In article <142@mot.UUCP> al@mot.UUCP (Al Filipski) writes: > >My favorite example of pseudo-personalized word processing was a piece >of mail addressed to my friend, Thomas W. Whalen III. It was an >invitation to enter a sweepstakes and began: > >Dear Mr. Iii: >Imagine your neighbors' surprise when you and the entire Iii family >drive home in your new Pontiac... > I received a similar letter, when I was living in Louisville, Ky.--it went something like this-- Imagine your neighbors' surprise when you drive up Ormsby Court in your new Pontiac... My neighbors would have indeed been surprised--Ormsby Court is a pedestrian courtyard! -- The above opinions aren't necessarily those of etc, etc...but they should be!! Roy Turner (a transplanted Kentucky hillbilly) School of Information and Computer Science Georgia Insitute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332 ...!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!royt
dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau) (05/10/85)
In article <142@mot.UUCP> al@mot.UUCP (Al Filipski) writes: > >My favorite example of pseudo-personalized word processing was a piece >of mail addressed to my friend, Thomas W. Whalen III. ... (1) The Duke University Library once got a letter addressed to "Duke Univ Lib" which began Dear Mr. Lib: Did you know that the Lib family has a coat of arms? (2) An Indian friend of mine named Ramu Reddy once got a letter from a company that did geneological tracings, saying that they had traced the Reddy family back to County Kilmanrock in Ireland, and that for a fee they would investigate his family tree even further. -- Dana S. Nau, Computer Science Dept., U. of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742 ARPA: dsn@maryland CSNet: dsn@umcp-cs UUCP: {seismo,allegra,brl-bmd}!umcp-cs!dsn Phone: (301) 454-7932
ed@mtxinu.UUCP (Ed Gould) (05/10/85)
When I was in high school in the LA area, I bowled in a league at
the no-longer existant Santa Monica Bowl. They regularly received
mail addressed to Monica B. Santa.
--
Ed Gould mt Xinu, 2910 Seventh St., Berkeley, CA 94710 USA
{ucbvax,decvax}!mtxinu!ed +1 415 644 0146rjh@calmasd.UUCP (Bob Hofkin) (05/10/85)
Imagine the neighbors' surprise when we knock on the door of P.O. Box ....
ellis@spar.UUCP (Michael Ellis) (05/16/85)
************** This does not belong in net.nlang! ********************
* *
* When I was in high school in the LA area, I bowled in a league at *
* the no-longer existant Santa Monica Bowl. They regularly received *
* mail addressed to Monica B. Santa. *
* *
**********************************************************************
Please keep the topic in net.jokes, huh? That means if you followup
future articles to this topic, please delete the reference
to `net.nlang', which most people apparently confuse with net.misc.
Sorry to bother the net.jokes people.
Thanks.ccrtom@ucdavis.UUCP (Kate Bush Groupie) (06/06/85)
> > My favorite example of pseudo-personalized word processing was a piece > of mail addressed to my friend, Thomas W. Whalen III. It was an > invitation to enter a sweepstakes and began: > > Dear Mr. Iii: > Imagine your neighbors' surprise when you and the entire Iii family > drive home in your new Pontiac... > > -------------------------------- > Alan Filipski, UNIX group, Motorola Microsystems, Tempe, AZ U.S.A > {allegra|ihnp4}!sftig!mot!al OR {seismo|ihnp4}!ut-sally!oakhill!mot!al > ucbvax!arizona!asuvax!mot!al > -------------------------------- > You may already be a wiener. In a similar vein, one of my former supervisors loved titles. Once he had been pronounced an Associate Director, he began using the title in all his correspondence. So, it was inevitable that he would one day bring this ever-so-personal form letter into the office: "Dear Mr. Ass..."