markb@orca.UUCP (Mark T. Bell) (07/25/85)
Well folks, we have had a round or two the "most beautiful
airplanes in the world" for the last month or so and its
made some rather good reading. Lets explore the other side
of the coin and look at some of the "ugly ducklings" in
aviation. (Realizing that beauty and ugliness are a matter
of perspective and personal opinion.)
My nomination is a plane I hold dear to my heart and have
had almost 1000 hours of flight time in as weapons/navi-
gation officer. The aircraft is the Grumman A6E Intruder
an all weather, carrier based attack bomber.
From a side profile when resting on the ground its quite
ugly. If you let your mind roam, the aircraft does not rem-
ind you of a sleek bird of flight, but of a squat almost
bull-froggish like animal. Designed from day one to carry
heavy ordinance and deliver on target in all weather condi-
tions it misses the sleekness of many other fine aircraft.
It has a nose that would put Jimmy Durante to shame; how-
ever, behind that bulbarous protrusion lies a fine ground
mapping radar. Its landing gear is thick and study, like
those of a Sumo wrestler, but designed to take the abuse of
its heavy launch weight and carrier arrestments. A wart
grows out of its nose; those that know about in-flight refu-
eling probes would recognize it.
Earlier I mentioned perspective. This airplane is a wor-
khorse out in the fleet. It has a variety of missions of
which one is airborne fuel tanker service to the fleet's
tactical aircraft. For those of you who are ex-carrier jet
types you can appreciate the situation of just missing the
arrestment gear, being over 1000 miles in any direction from
an alternate airfield, pitch-black night, rough seas, and
low on fuel to the point of only having a handful of go-
juice minutes left. Its quite comforting to look up and see
this Big Beautiful A6 tanker with its refueling hose
streamed out ready to improve your life. Believe me, I've
been there.
As a matter of fact, in one two-week period I flew with
three different pilots and all managed to miss the wires
(bolter) a number of times. Fortunately the apparent jinx or
spell wore off, however it was too late to stop the senior
LSO from giving the "Bolter-King" award to yours truely.
Its a rather dubious honor, more like getting a ribbon for
the most strike outs when at bat. Even more interesting was
that I was a Naval Flight Officer and not a pilot! It may
be a first in carrier aviation! Lesson learned: don't have
an LSO for a friend (but definitly don't make him an enemy).
Well, enough said of this plane. Any other comments on
"ugly ducklings?"
Mark T. Bell
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Wilsonville, OR 97070brt@whuts.UUCP (B Reytblat) (07/25/85)
How about the A-10 Warthog? The meanest, ugliest looking thing i ever saw. Also the Sukhoi Su-17. Looks like something a kid slapped together from an erector set. B.Reytblat AT&T-BL whuts!brt (201)-981-2044 * i'm sure erector is a tm of some company or another.