mmm@weitek.UUCP (Mark Thorson) (01/02/86)
I spent yesterday evening with my friends Brad and Cindy. They watch a lot of TV. I hardly watch any. They wanted to tell me about this dog they saw on an afternoon show. They said it could drive a car and fly an airplane. They were a little disappointed that I didn't believe them. They expected I would at least say it might be possible, after all they had SEEN it and were totally convinced it was true. They said this dog's eyes followed the road and it turned the wheel. The owner was sitting next to the dog, but the camera was on him too so you could see he wasn't doing anything. I wasn't having any of this. In fact, I couldn't help laughing at some points in their description of this canine prodigy. Since I'm the only one they know who doesn't work for a living (work in the sense of lifting boxes, welding metal, or installing microwave ovens -- from their perspective, I just sit at a desk and think), their confidence in what they'd seen was eroding rapidly. But they still wanted to convince me. They started hedging some more. They said the car was going pretty slow, maybe fifteen or twenty miles an hour, and the dog probably didn't start the car or work the pedals. "And I suppose it just held the wheel when flying the airplane," I said. "It didn't do take-offs or landings." "He could land the plane," said Cindy somewhat sheepishly. By now they were both feeling a little gullible for having believed what was presented as fact on the TV. "I sure wouldn't want to fly in an airplane piloted by a dog," said Brad coming to her defense. "I sure wouldn't want to TEACH a dog to pilot a plane," I said. "Do you really think someone could do that? On the first mistake you're dead." At this point they had to at least admit that. The TV had said the dog could land the plane but didn't show it. So they had to admit the dog probably couldn't land the plane. And what the TV said was a lie. And probably every- thing else that had come out of the TV was lies and trickery too. But they still didn't quite believe me. After all, the TV people had FILM. Mark "it's only a theory till you got it on film" Thorson