barrett@jhunix.HCF.JHU.EDU (Dan Barrett) (06/09/91)
From reading the messages in this newsgroup recently, I have become
very worried about the Future Of The Amiga. VERY worried. In fact, I've
begun hiding in my bedroom closet for several hours a day -- that's how
worried I am. My doctor says I should take a vacation. But I digress.
Anyway, here are some things that the Amiga ABSOLUTELY NEEDS in
order to survive in today's brutal and innovative computer market. If it
doesn't have ALL of them within the next 7 days, Commodore will go bankrupt,
the sky will fall, and little orange toasters will appear inside your nose.
(1) A NEW CHIPSET
Without a new chipset, I can definitely say, with all authority and
confidence, that the Amiga will have the old chipset. This may come
as a surprise, but I guarantee that it is true.
(2) DEVICE-INDEPENDENT GRAPHICS
It is vitally important that Commodore find a way to make graphics
totally independent of their display device. In fact, the Amiga
should be able to display top-quality graphics in the total ABSENCE
of hardware. Take away the device, and the picture should still be
visible!
I have noticed that when I stare at a bright light for a long time
and then look away, I can still see the afterimage, even though the
light is gone. If I can do it, why can't Commodore?
(3) NETWORKING
The Amiga is a social computer. It should be possible for our
Amigas to get out of the house once in a while, gather at
conventions, and meet each other. The contacts that they make
might be important to their futures; after all, improper contacts
in an electrical device can cause it to malfunction.
If you don't want your computers leaving the house, you can always
ground your PALs.
(4) INTERLACED VIDEO
Face it: flickering video reminds me of tuna fish. No, I don't
know why, but it is DEFINITELY a problem.
The current A2320 display enhancer and other "flickerFixer" devices
are TOTALLY inadequate. After all, deep down in your heart, you
still KNOW that the video signal is flickering away... even if you
can't SEE it.
A total solution is to get rid of video entirely. After removing
all the internal circuitry from the monitor, Commodore should send
an employee to your house to entertain you with hand puppets.
(5) REDUCED PRICES
In order to attract new customers, Commodore should start giving
away Amigas for free. Personally, if a computer company gave me
a free computer, I would run out immediately and buy one! This is
the kind of loyalty Commodore needs to generate.
BTW, I don't understand all this publicity recently about Commodore's
educational discos. IMHO, Commodore is a computer company whose
resources are probably NOT best used for dance instruction.
I know that multimedia is important and all, but still....
(6) CHANGE THE COMPANY NAME
By now, everybody associates the name "Commodore" with "game
machine", or at least "machine". To be taken more seriously, it's
time for CBM to change its name to something more attention-getting
and powerful. I suggest "Testosterone."
(8) FOOD
Yes, food. I think that every Amiga sold should come with a free
pizza. I get hungry while hacking. Get with it, Commodore.
(194) LARGE BLOCKS OF CHEESE CARVED IN THE SHAPE OF A MOLLUSK
Hey, if we can put a man on the moon, why not?
I hope that Commodore and the Amiga Community think hard about the
above suggestions. Any reasonable company should be able to solve these
problems in a matter of hours for about $12.95! Really!!
I welcome discussion on these important issues. If you follow up
to this posting, please use the Subject line "NeXT vs. Amiga" so everybody
will read it carefully.
Dan
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| Dan Barrett, Department of Computer Science Johns Hopkins University |
| INTERNET: barrett@cs.jhu.edu | |
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\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////////////////////rjc@wookumz.gnu.ai.mit.edu (Ray Cromwell) (06/10/91)
Good one Dan, but not quite as funny as your original BLAZEMONGER
post which had me rolling on the floor. Keep it up!
--
/ INET:rjc@gnu.ai.mit.edu * // The opinions expressed here do not \
| INET:r_cromwe@upr2.clu.net | \X/ in any way reflect the views of my self.|
\ UUCP:uunet!tnc!m0023 * /dant@ryptyde.UUCP (Daniel Tracy) (06/10/91)
Responding to the following:
" I have noticed that when I stare at a bright light for a long time
and then look away, I can still see the afterimage, even though the
light is gone. If I can do it, why can't Commodore?"
Commodore has NEVER "seen the light". :-)