barrett@jhunix.HCF.JHU.EDU (Dan Barrett) (06/16/91)
I am so glad that everybody is so concerned about clipboard support
these days. In fact, thanks to your many insightful, polite, and unbiased
clipboard articles, one of your fellow USENETers has requested more
clipboard support in BLAZEMONGER. You know, the usual stuff: cutting out
levels from another game and importing them into BLAZEMONGER, pasting in
pages from actual books, etc. This is an excellent idea.
As I'm sure you know from previous postings, BLAZEMONGER is
one of the most friendly, well-behaved, totally Intuition-ized programs
in existence. Bang on the hardware? We wouldn't DREAM of it! After all,
good behavior is more important than speed, right?
[Pause.... Spittle begins to drip from the chin....]
HAHAHA! If you believe THAT stuff, you've been living on the PLANET
WIMPFACE for the last 2 years!! BLAZEMONGER goes RIGHT TO THE METAL for
EVERYTHING, even during the CODING! Yes, we code DIRECTLY in BINARY for
MAXIMUM SPEED. Assembly is just TOO SLOW, as you ALL know deep in your
HEARTS.
CLIPBOARD SUPPORT?!? What's the purpose of the Clipboard anyway?
To transfer data from one application into another, right? Well, the
next release of BLAZEMONGER will do even BETTER than THAT! And FASTER,
of course!!
Rather than letting you transfer your WIMPY data from another
application, BLAZEMONGER comes complete with ALL OF YOUR DATA ALREADY IN
IT! Yes, it's true. Thanks to our Microwave Modem Technology, we already
have ALL OF YOUR COMPUTER FILES here on our four million billion gigabyte
hard drive. And thanks to our latest data compression techniques, we have
encoded ALL of this data on the BLAZEMONGER disk. If you need any of it,
just ask BLAZEMONGER, and it is INSTANTLY inserted into your currently
running game!
"But," you say, "what about any *new* data I make after I've
bought Blazemonger?" This is a legitimate question, so here's a very
reasonable answer.
FIRST of all, Mr. SMARTY-PANTS, the name of the game is BLAZEMONGER
in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, because you have to YELL when you say it. GET WITH
IT, BUDDY!!
And second, it's not an issue! You simply can't MAKE any new data
after you buy BLAZEMONGER. Once loaded, it's IMPOSSIBLE to unload the game.
In fact, you can't even TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER because BLAZEMONGER taps
directly into the LIVE VOLTAGES in the power supply and conveniently
reroutes them to the power switch! This way, you are quickly reminded NEVER
to turn off this game. We installed this feature after MANY of our
customers requested it. (Well... actually, they requested hard drive
installation, but we decided that this is more efficient.)
I hope that answers any questions about BLAZEMONGER's Clipboard
support. If you have any comments, just put them in a file on one of
your disks. We'll read them eventually....
Dan
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| Dan Barrett - Systems Administrator, Computer Science Department |
| The Johns Hopkins University, 34th and Charles Sts., Baltimore, MD 21218 |
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ps: Thanks to Ray Cromwell for asking us to tackle the Clipboard....