peter@Sugar.NeoSoft.com (Peter da Silva) (06/29/91)
In article <billc.3708@cryo.rain.com> billc@cryo.rain.com (William J. Coldwell) writes: > >**************************************************** > >* I want games that look like Shadow of the Beast * > >* but play like Leisure Suit Larry. * > >**************************************************** > So, you're supposed to walk into a bar to pick up a babe, but manage > to kill everyone in the place with your Blast-o-matic... that kind > of game? ;-) That's it! The sucessor to BlazeMonger!... "Leisure Suit Vogon" The first interactive role playing game for your computer with State of the Art graphics, sound, and kill ratios! Warning: the Vogon Poetry Contest level has been cited by the EPA, OSHA, the FDA, and the DEA as being too dangerous for home play, and OSHA rules require it be used under hazardous waste protocols. An appeal is in process, as soon as a jury can be found willing to hear the evidence. -- Peter da Silva. `-_-' <peter@sugar.neosoft.com>. 'U` "Have you hugged your wolf today?"
mykes@amiga0.SF-Bay.ORG (Mike Schwartz) (06/30/91)
In article <1991Jun29.122016.9089@Sugar.NeoSoft.com> peter@Sugar.NeoSoft.com (Peter da Silva) writes: >In article <billc.3708@cryo.rain.com> billc@cryo.rain.com (William J. Coldwell) writes: >> >**************************************************** >> >* I want games that look like Shadow of the Beast * >> >* but play like Leisure Suit Larry. * >> >**************************************************** > >> So, you're supposed to walk into a bar to pick up a babe, but manage >> to kill everyone in the place with your Blast-o-matic... that kind >> of game? ;-) > >That's it! The sucessor to BlazeMonger!... > > > "Leisure Suit Vogon" > > >The first interactive role playing game for your computer with State of the >Art graphics, sound, and kill ratios! Warning: the Vogon Poetry Contest level >has been cited by the EPA, OSHA, the FDA, and the DEA as being too dangerous >for home play, and OSHA rules require it be used under hazardous waste >protocols. An appeal is in process, as soon as a jury can be found willing >to hear the evidence. You've almost got it, except BlazeMonger is a joke, and Leisure Suit Larry isn't anything remotely like a shoot-em-up. Yeah, I know my .sig is getting old, so I'll fix it. COMING SOON, A NEW PRODUCT CALLED ACADEMIAMONGER. IT HAS EVERY ALGORITHM IN IT KNOWN TO MANKIND (AND EVEN SOME NOT INVENTED YET) AND THE FASTEST ONES ARE ALL DONE IN BASIC BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT ASSEMBLER LANGUAGE IS TOO FAST TO MAKE ANYTHING INTERESTING AND HUMAN BEINGS AREN'T CAPABLE OF WRITING GOOD ALGORITHMS IN IT. IN FACT, ACADEMEAMONGER USES EVERY HIGH-LEVEL LANGUAGE EVER INVENTED BY MAN JUST FOR THE SAKE OF IT AND BECAUSE THE AUTHORS DON'T WANT TO BE LAZY ABOUT HOW THEY MAINTAIN AND IMPLEMENT THEIR CODE. AND IT'S BEEN PORTED TO EVERY MACHINE EVER MADE, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF IT. ACADEMIAMONGER USES 100% OF YOUR CPU TIME WHEN IT ISN'T EVEN DOING ANYTHING (IT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING ANYWAY, BUT IT SURE HAS ALL THE FEATURES YOU COULD EVER WANT). ACADEMEAMONGER ALSO IS GREAT FOR THE STATE OF THE ART IN COMPUTING, BECAUSE WHEN YOU HAVE A PROGRAM THIS GOOD, YOU NEED A FASTER COMPUTER WITH MORE MEMORY AND HARD DISK JUST TO MAKE IT POSSIBLE. BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FINEST MINDS OUR UNIVERSITIES CAN CRANK OUT, AND IT'S AVAILABLE FREE OF CHARGE, SINCE EVERYONE'S TAX DOLLARS PAID FOR ALL THE R&D THAT WENT INTO IT, AS WELL AS ALL THE SALARIES OF THOSE WHO WORKED ON IT. (And I didn't even YELL once :) -- **************************************************** * If you read Knuth backwards, you will find every * * devil worship message ever known to man. * ****************************************************
mykes@amiga0.SF-Bay.ORG (Mike Schwartz) (07/01/91)
In article <mykes.4076@amiga0.SF-Bay.ORG> mykes@amiga0.SF-Bay.ORG (Mike Schwartz) writes: >ALGORITHM IN IT KNOWN TO MANKIND (AND EVEN SOME NOT INVENTED YET) AND Er, after YEARS of study (and even more taxpayers' money :) the publishers have changed the name of this product to BloatMonger! -- **************************************************** * I want games that look like Shadow of the Beast * * but play like Leisure Suit Larry. * ****************************************************