cjy (10/07/82)
I apologize for not answering your question about what to do about the "militant smoker". Let me say at the beginning that I smoked for many years and then I quit six years ago, cold turkey. While I smoked, I have to admit that I paid little attention as to where and around whom I smoked. After I quit ( and my sense of smell returned) the story was really quite different. Now the aroma of cigarette or cigar smoke really bothers me. For some reason, however, the aroma of a pipe that is calmly puffed upon does not bother me. All this is by way of background to say that I fully understand both sides of the question about smoking. I really attribute most of a smoker's rudeness to non-smokers. When I smoked and lit up, no one said word one that my habit offended them. If some brave soul would say something like "Could you put that out, it bothers me!", I would immediately classify him/her as some kind of prude that can't stand to see people have fun since most people aren't bothered by my smoking. As I look back on it, if more people would have told me how offensive my habit was, I certainly would have developed more sensitivity for other's rights to inhale clean air ( well, as clean as it gets, anyhow ). One more thing about never-smokers is that they are rather timid about telling people to their face how repulsive their habit really is. For example, I overheard a couple of clean-cut young guys discussing the available females at their disposal. One of them began to say that he wanted to date XXXX. The other quickly responded by saying that she smoked ( she does ). Immediately the other dropped the idea and went on to others on the "list". This scenario has repeated itself countless times and I wish I could go up to people and tell them how repulsive their habit is, but if I did, I would be dubbed a prude and since no one else says anything, my statement would be ignored. Going back to your problem at the church function, Carl, by saying anything to that girl, you were put in the position of the heavy. Many people probably wished they had your guts, but were thankful that they didn't have to stop her. If others would have come forward at that time and reenforced your position by saying that her smoke was bothering them as well, she might have gotten the idea and put the thing out. What I am trying to say in all of my above rambling is that for one person to be as stubborn about non-smoking as someone is about smoking only develops hostility. What is needed is for more people to tell smokers how distasteful their habit is. If a smoker gets belligerant and starts to rant and rave about the prudes that keep him from having fun, I start human rights lecture #1. It goes as follows, " I bathe regularly to make certain that I don't foul your air with my body odors; I defecate and pass wind in the bathroom so you can breathe clean air. Why the hell won't you give me the same consideration and put that damn thing out!!!!" ( My voice rises a lot at the last sentence and if I am in a crowd I embarrass the hell out of the smoker. ) I only use this, however when reason, cajoling, and persuasion fails. Also if I ever get the chance to back up a non-smoker on the question of smoking, I never pass it up. Because of this attitude, my boss and all of my co-workers respect my request for non-smoking and people in the same cubicle are either both smokers or non-smokers. If you really want to hear the story of how this came about, I will tell it some other time. I've wasted enough of your time.......... Chuck Young at ...ihps3!ihuxi!cjy