stevens@teklabs.UUCP (Steven J Silberberg) (10/04/83)
I feel honored that my neighbor feels that my yard is worthy of his dog's shit. It serves as a great conversation piece when company comes. It forces me to clean the soles of my shoes every now and then -- a task I often neglect. And I just love to put out my ultraviolet bug zapper to zap all the flies that the shit attracts. It keeps solicitors off my lawn and stops the neighborhood kids from jumping in my leaf piles. But the best thing is that when I want to discipline my 2 year old child, I just rub his nose in the shit. Simple and effective. -- Steve Silberberg
davidl@tekid.UUCP (David Levadie) (10/05/83)
I can't imagine what precipitated your article, it seems really random. But I am obligated to relate the following: Someone I know had your problem. His solution was to dump half a can or so of beef gravy on top of the "doggie do." The doggie, being of the usual canine intelligence, would inevitably proceed to clean up his own mess. (I wonder how many people just ruined their keyboard out there...)
debenedi@yale-com.UUCP (Robert DeBenedictis) (10/08/83)
I remember this story (probably untrue):
Person A's dog would always go over to Person B's yard to
"do his doodie." Person B got fed up. Person B purchased
some real good ground beef and a box of Ex-Lax. He mixed
them together. Person A's dog ate it, went back to his
owner's yard and didn't stop shitting. The poor dog died
shortly. I DON'T recommend this; rather engage in subtle
psychological warfare against the owner. OR if you're
TRULY amoral, coat his doorknob with a DMSO-LSD mixture.
To be unexpectedly tripping is one of the most terrifying
things in the world. (DMSO is the "universal solvent" &
will allow the LSD to be quickly and efficientl absorbed."
Robert DeBenedictis
("I don't know WHERE this anarchist mood came from.
Could it be from reading news for 5 hours?")eric@washu.UUCP (10/09/83)
When I was a kid we had a pack of dogs in the neighborhood that
would dump trash cans over. I went and
bought an ignition ("spark") coil for a model T -- the kind that had
a buzzer-type interrupter -- and connected it to our garbage can
and our mailbox pole, with a piece of plexiglass under the can.
Well, the dogs no longer dumped our cans over. A couple learned
not to wet on the cans, nor, for that matter, on anything at all for a
few weeks. I can't recommend this for the lawn soiling problem
but it is a good note to stuff in your copy of "The Anarchists Cookbook".
Note that this will not harm the dog given the proper limiting resistors
are employed. While the voltage is very high, the current is *very* low.
eric
..!ihnp4!washu!ericfiled01@abnjh.UUCP (H. Silbiger) (10/17/83)
I solved the doggie doo problem by picking up the deposit on my shovel, walking over to the neighbor's house, and ringing the bell. When he answered the door, i presesnted him with the loaded shovel, and said: "Your dog left this. Where do you want it?" After three repetitions of this routine, he got the message and kept the dog confined to his yard. Herman "keep the sod safe" Silbiger AT&T-IS Morristown