eileenm@sco.COM (Eileen Maceri) (05/24/91)
I have just recently discovered this net group, and have been very interested in the past few days' postings by John Wheeler, Sridhar Pingali, and Rebecca Radnor. With Rebecca's latest posting (on meditation and the mind only philosophy), I would like to offer a comment from my own observations. I notice that some of the postings excite me as I read them, and I feel less inspired by others, and I was wondering why. All of those posting seem to know their subject matter, and the presentations (particularly Rebecca's) are scholarly and erudite. It is obvious she is highly intelligent. I read and re-read all the postings, and I think I know what it is. It is more moving to me when the postings are reflective of the person's own experiences, rather than based on theory. Given the choice, my preference would always be to hear about someone's own experience (this is just IMHO) than all the theories that the mind of man has been able to produce in centuries of philosophizing. I have found that mere academic knowledge, no matter how beautifully phrased, is unable to inspire or convey the living quality that leaps from the page -- or computer screen :-) -- and really *speaks* to me when someone sincerely shares his or her own experience. In the end, the only thing one can or *will* really trust is one's own direct experience. I believe a spiritual master who inspires and encourages you to experience for yourself the depths of which he speaks (and NOT just take his word for it), is a good teacher. This is the only kind of teacher I would follow. Life is too short for words that spin all around and take you nowhere. My experience in reading Krishnamurti was just that. I felt that he left me hanging there, just "twisting in the wind." And his life of suffering, as described in his autobiography, was not inspiring to me. I already KNOW how to suffer. Ramana Maharshi, whom I greatly admire as a realized Being, once said: "The Guru is the bestower of Silence who reveals the light of Self-Knowledge which shines as the residual Reality. Spoken words are of no use whatsoever if the eye of the Guru meets the eye of the disciple." Such masters are rare, but I believe they can awaken you to the place of peace and wisdom within yourself. Many people who were privileged to be with the Maharshi speak of the peace and joy they felt in his presence, whether silent or spoken. It has been my good fortune to be in the presence of an enlightened disciple of the Maharshi, and I know now, for myself, just what they were expressing. One is touched in the deepest way by a master who lives and teaches from the solid foundation of Being. Many spiritual masters have referred to it as "the Self speaking to the Self." All I know is what I feel, and it is profound peace and heightened awareness. And, most importantly, my everyday life has changed and continues to change in ways that bring me increasing peace and happiness. Now, this is something solid and measurable...my very own experience. In spiritual pursuits, I believe an open mind is of far more value than a mind stuffed full of "knowledge," with no space left for simple heartfelt experience. Having spent several years in the academic corridors of psychology and philosophy, and observing the fruits of these pursuits in myself and others, I have found that academic knowledge and philosophizing does not bring one to happiness, peace, or even wisdom. Words are full if they change your life for the better, and empty if they do not. In my own case, realizing that the written word was not helping to bring me to what I wanted (peace or what I called a "lasting 'at-ease' feeling"), I was grateful to hear from a friend about a master who was helping her to experience this in her life. It never occurred to me to think she was relating to me from a "superior" stand. She honestly expressed what her experience was, I could see it was changing her life, and I was curious to explore this avenue that was being presented to me. I knew that if it were just "propaganda," I would soon find that out for myself, and if it were really what she said it was, I would be greatly benefited. I couldn't lose. To me, it seems that what WORKS, what takes you most quickly to your goal (if you have one), is most important. I just want to be happy, and I am grateful for the help of anyone who can show me how to have a greater and greater experience of happiness/peace. I am truly enjoying the postings from everyone, and hope my comments will not be misconstrued as heavy criticism or flames. The sincerity of each poster is very apparent. It is VERY refreshing to find people like you on the net. I just wanted to add this perspective [from *my* own experience :-)].
dogen@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (John Chq) (05/25/91)
Lately I noticed that some posters have been complementing my girlfriend Rebecca on her insight and scholarship. She thanks you greatly and finds it all extremely amusing since her forte is Japanese culture and has never really studied Buddhist philosophy. At the end of each posting some of you may have noticed "J. Cha c/o Japlady" J. Cha is me. I was using Rebecca's account because I hadn't bothered to get my own. Well, now I have one! So, from now on my login name is Dogen (his name yes, his insight definitly not!). If you are still interested in reading postings by Rebecca, she is very active on soc.culture.japan, and rec.disney. Sorry for the confusion. --John Cha
dogen@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (John Chq) (05/25/91)
Hi Eileen,
Its nice to read a woman's voice on the board [besides my
"own":)]. This group was a tad bit too "male dominated" for my taste.
As far as your observations go concerning the 'emptiness' (of
course you know this is a 'good' word in buddhist philosophy) of theoretical
knowledge and the significance of a few words, if not silence, from an
awakened person, I am in complete agreement with you. My profession being
academia I also share some of your sentiments concerning the
intellectualization of 'spiritual' matters. However, I would like to
discuss with you some issues regarding 'experience' vs. 'theory'. Since you
value experience over words let me relate to you some of my own personal
encounters with ... I don't know what to call IT. You have to understand
that I am more than a bit reluctant to talk about this, that is why all of
my postings have been 'philosophical' in nature. You'll understand why at
the end of this posting.
There are three experiences I would like to share with you:
The first happened in the summer of '81 when I had my first meeting
with an authentic zen roshi, during a vacation in N.Y. I've always been
inyerested in zen and meditation in general, and meditated on my own for a
few years. But meeting him had a profound impact on me. In short, after
giving instructions on zazen and an hour of sitting, his dharma talk
literally cut to my bones. All he conveyed was the fact that "your nose is
vertical, eyes horizontal. When it rains you get wet. Nothing special." It
doesn't take a rocket scientist to say this, but his words conveyed a depth
of meaning..., I think you understand. My life up till then was in a state
of general confusion; after my vacation in N.Y. I let my life be, and it
naturally ordered itself.
The second occured three years ago while I was reading some essays by
the xtian mystic Meister Eckhart. During the middle of the night I
suddenly felt a strange sensation of being overpowered by an otherness.
The intensity reached a point where I felt every fiber of my being
vibrating with bliss. I realized the utter depravity of my 'self' (oddly
this was a positive experience) in the light of this higher power. There
was only overpowering love in which I could accept myself completely as I
was, as well as all other people (especially those I disliked). The only
thing that came to mind was "grace", "faith", "gift from God"; from someone
who didn't believe! Again words do no justice.
The third one occured about a year after that when I tried a different
method of meditation; vipassana, or insight meditation. This time I had no
teacher, but I read several books on this and whent into a strict training
regiment. After about a week, I felt a new level of awareness arise; the
material world lost its substantiality, all phenomena were literally
changing moment to moment. As I observed this transiency I also 'realized'
that the observer itself was changing; there was nothing that wasn't
affected by the "law of transiency." My dreams were also affected (I
usually don't remember them); usually I was sitting in the middle of a
stone house which began to melt. At first I was extremely frightened, but
then as I let go of any resistence 'I' started to melt, which was
ironocally a liberating, and peaceful experience.
In all three cases the feeling of peacfulness and well-being lasted for
a couple of weeks. What was most evident was the sensation of absolute
security, that I could have total trust in the world moment to moment.
Ever since my N.Y. vacation I've been having experiences of unexplained
happiness and insights coming at me from out of the blue (not that my life
was trouble free; but troubles took on a diferent significance)
periodically.
What does this all mean? Lets take two radically diferent
explanations of this.
The skeptic: Maybe because of some unfulfilled psychological needs I
somehow induced these states of mind. In reality there is a reasonable
explanation to all this. If this is the case then I should let these
experiences go because they are symptoms of a troubled or escapist mindset.
The romanticist: Maybe I have stumbled across something "truly
spiritual" and these experiences are indicative of ultimate reality
encroaching upon my mind/body complex. These awakenings are a series of
'purifications' needed to prepare my being for some greater insight. If
this is the case then I'd better let these experiences go because holding
on to them is only a product of a selfish need for more experinces.
I hold neither of the opinions above, in fact I have no opinions
about them at all (well, I do attribute some positive affects on my life to
them). The point is where are my experinces now? If I keep them, i.e.,
develope an attachment to them, and pursue further experiences like them,
this is the same mind state as when I want to repeat any 'mundane pleasure'
be it drink, sex, etc. Attachment is attachment; so instead of talking
about experiences can we be mindful of the flow of experiences be they
profound awakenings or just the touch sensation of fingers on the keyboard?
I don't want to degrade spiritual experiences, but attachment to them
(or attachment to spiritual teachers who give one a sense of peace) can be
just as dangerous as addiction to alchohol (I speak from --almost-- first
hand experience, I have a friend who had a mental breakdown from this).
As a final note, let me be clear that I do believe some 'wiser' beings
than ourselves can positively influence our life. If you have found a
teacher or tradition that speaks to you, more power to you. But you must
ask yourselves are you wearing your tradition like a jacket? Or as a zen
teacher said, "Don't stink of zen!"
I'm looking forward to yor reply,
J.C.
--
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-- John Cha
"The present is always more interesting than the future or the past"
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