[rec.arts.erotica] Journal Entries of Elf Shardik, Entry 136 / 0068

elf@halcyon.wa.com (Elf Sternberg) (10/15/90)

     
                                                  136 | 0086
     
     I was whistling tunelessly, smiling;  It had been a hard day at the
beach, composing hormonal annotes  for  the latest species I intended to
introduce to the universe.
     I grinned to myself, too amused  at  my  own  sense of superiority.
Gods! I am so cocky!  But how else should a deity feel?
     I scowled, again to myself as I had  no  witnesses.  I floated down
the g-tube towards my rooms, worrying  that I may beleive my godhead.  A
frightening thought.  I am easier to  kill, they are superior models;  I
am just a refit of Ma Nature.  And even if my      kids do look up on me
as some sort of father figure,  I  did  everything  I could to base this
place on the Hogan Social Model.
     I pondered the question of  does  make  a  god  when a single scent
brought a smile to my face and wiped away philosophy.
     Ember!  Bawr Mahn, M'Bawr, was  turning  16  tomorrow, the age when
Felinzi observe silly ceremonies  celebrating  a 'coming of age.'  Silly
because most kids were competent by the  age of nine (and judging by the
people who live in my castle, they  stay  childish  for 60 years).  Only
Kzin make any real violent deal  out  of  it, but then we are a world of
instant tradition, being such a young society.  Basically, it amounts to
a sweet-sixteen party.
     Ember's scent grew stronger as  I  headed  down  the corridor, even
though her rooms were down  towards  the  other  end of the castle.  She
might be visiting her mother, or somebody else.
     It countinued as I passes Ress'  room,  which  meant...There's only
one door left down this hallway, and it's mine.
     The door opened and it was dark  inside.   I fought down an urge to
assume a combative posture.  She was functionally my own grandchild, for
gods' sake!  Even if her mother was genetically incompatible with me and
had been born from a tank.
     "Ember?"  Her scent was strong.  She'd been waiting a while.  I was
tempted to ask Dave how  long  she'd  been  here,  and to ask him why he
hadn't called me the moment I'd  returned.   But  the answer to that was
kind of obvious.  Ember had been  Dave's  favorite for a long time, even
before he'd been installed in the castle.
     "Father?"  She rose from the couch,  the  term of endearment irking
me a little  as  she  walked  over.    Her  scent  wafted  over  me. She
was...frightened?  Apprehensive?  Something.  She held out her hands, in
a come-hither gesture that  did  not  go  with  her present behavior.  I
walked forward and took her hands.
     "What's wrong, sweetheart?"   I  asked.   She  knows she can't hide
anything from me, anymore than I  could  from her.  She looked up at me,
her tongue flicking out over her nose, a nervous gesture she'd picked up
from her mother.
     I raised my eyebrow.  "Hmmm?"
     She looked away, shy, then turned back.  "Ken..."  Now I was REALLY
confused.  She NEVER called me that.
     "Ember, what's bothering you?"
     "Tomorrow's my birthday.  Tomorrow I won't be a kitten, anymore."
     "And you're afraid I'd  stop  loving  you,  or  change in some way?
That's silly."
     She shook her head, a firm NO.  "I  need  to  ask you for a special
favor."
     "I'd do anything I could for you, you know that."
     She paused, then, "Tomorrow, I'll  be  caiss according to everybody
except...in the most important way.    I'll still be a kitten.  You told
me a long time ago that the one I gave my kittenin' to should be able to
appreciate it for the gift that it  is.   That's  how you said it, and I
think...you...could appreciate it most."
     I looked down at what was to me a very young, very vulnerable girl.
"You mean?"
     She nodded.  I was momentarily  stunned,  then I looked at her, and
then I picked her up, gently, one  hand  under  her shoulders, one under
her knees, and walked slowly over to the hole in the floor that leads to
my bedroom.  We fell down it, the v-grav systems dropping us gently onto
the bed, and as we landed I  positioned  myself against her, hold her to
me.
     "Ember, are you sure you  want  to  do  this?"   Her  eyes  held me
clearly, and she nodded, gently, surely.  She wrapped her arms around my
neck, and I kissed her, her cute pink  muzzle, and then I move down, and
felt her tongue against mine.   I  travelled  on,  nibbling her chin and
feeling her fur against my lips and tongue.   I've always liked felinzi,
all fur and playfulness, but this was something else.  "Ember?"
     "Mrrrr?" She said, a little dreamily, but with a curious tone.
     "What do you really want?"
     "I want you to love me.  I want  everything."   She  leaned into me
and kissed me hard, her rough/soft tongue entering my mouth.  She pulled
down, nuzzling my neck, licking  and  kissing  and sometimes threatening
with her sharp teeth.  Her paw found my breeches, and undid the clasp.
     A small laugh  escaped  me.   "You've  learned  how  to  make a man
happy."
     She looked at me quizzically.   "I'm  not  inexperrienced, Elff.  I
just saved myselff forr today."
     That made me sit up and take pause.   "Ember...did you just tell me
that you've been waiting for me for all your years?"
     "Uhrrrr...Yeah.  I've  always  wanted  you  to be my firrst loverr.
Everr since I was...twelve, I guess, is when I firrst thought about it."
     "Ember...I'm touched." Tounched? I was stunned!  "But...why?"
     "Why?" she repeated, her fingers still stroking my chest, her claws
out just enough  to  scratch  and  tickle.   "That's  kind  of  a  silly
question. You're paterr, and not just  in the usual sense.  You werre my
motherr's companion..." (more like she was mine) "...for so long...forty
yearrs orr so, and you babysat  me  so  many  times when I was young.  I
grew up arround you, you mean so much to me.  You taught me how to tie a
knot, how to read, how to fly a  'cycle!   Frrom you I even learrned how
to deal with boys!" Her eyes  gleamed  beautifully, the light reflecting
off the back of  them.   "You'rrre  the  closest  thing  I  have to best
frrriend, and on my birthday I want  you  to have my best present."  And
she grinned a little wildly to herself at her little joke.
     I looked up at her, not quite sure what to say.  Somewhere, I heard
my rare mechanical clock ticking, and I thought to myself '15 years, 291
days,  and how many hours?'  But  looking  at her, her unbearable beauty
in her assymmetrical  black  and  white  fur,  so  unlike  either of her
parents, the black trailing down  the  white between her ears.  Whatever
Gods there truly are had had a  hand  in  her making, she is so adorably
beautiful.  I wanted her.
     I reached up, my  hands  finding  her  cloak-pin,  and  I undid it.
Wherever she'd been earlier today,  it  had  been raining, the cloak was
still damp.  But, like most  felinzi,  underneath  it she was naked, and
the pattern of her fur continued in a  mottling that was almost a parody
of tiger stripes, but wasn't, not really.  Her tail occasionally flicked
over my legs, then back, more nervousness.
     Her hands undid my shirt, pushing  it  back  over my shoulders, and
then I moved to help  her  take  it  off.   She  started  to  pull on my
breeches, and I let her remove  them,  and we cast aside our clothes and
stopped in the dim light and we looked at each other.
     I smiled a little,  at  the  absurdity  of  myself,  my gawky human
frame, even though in the best of human  condition, as I compared myself
to the lithe,  sleek  power  contained  in  her  furry little body.  She
smiled back, and then she  pushed  me  back,  kissing  me furiously, her
mouth then moving, exploring my  throat  once  more, and I was sure that
this was what we both wanted.  Her  tongue  raked across my nipples, and
her sharp catteeth heightened  my  sensitivity  with  their  threats.  I
growled, and she purred  back,  and  all  the  while  her tail, probably
through no though of her own, tickled my balls.  
     Her cool nose found my balls first, her  tongue still flicking over
them, almost painful  in  the  tickling  they  did,  and  she slid up my
erection, and then, giving my cock  an  almost curious look, she plunged
downward, taking all of it in one  slide  into  her muzzle, closing down
and holding it, her tongue bathing it,  loving it.  I was in heaven, her
rough tongue was so good.  Somewhere,  something told me she'd done this
before.  She was slow, taking care  as  she  slid up and down it to feel
it, to make me feel her, and gods! was  she good!  And this was once the
little kitten I'd raised?
     I touched her shoulder, and her  slitted  eyes  glanced towards me,
and I slowly pushed her away.   I  wanted  to  wait.   She looked at me,
afraid that she'd done  something  wrong,  but  I just smiled.  I slowly
turned her over in the lowered  gravity  of  my bed, and I began my trek
down from her mouth to her cunt, nibbling  at the little tufts of fur at
her shoulders and her small, firm  breasts.   I paused as I flicked over
her nipples to  listen,  just  to  listen,  to  her  heartbeat  and  her
breathing, finding such power and love  in such simple, living things as
her heart and her breath.
     I moved down between her  parted  legs,  where  her pink jewel lay,
moist and waiting, where the fur  became  thin  and fine and soft, and I
kissed her right above her cunt, slowly, worshipping her.  
     My tongue became alive there,  where  her  scent was lotus, and her
taste was ambrosia.  I licked  along  her  outer lips, parting them from
the inner, slowly wetting the whole  of  her cunt with my tongue, slowly
slipping apart her inner  lips,  so  that  I  could  see her clit, open,
exposed, and her core, where eventually,  I would be the first to go.  I
licked around her clit, mindful of  her  sensitivity,  sometimes dipping
down into her cunt  to  taste  the  fullness  of  her  juices,  and then
returning to her lips, and  the  hood.   The  flesh there was smooth and
soft as silk, and I wanted to stay forever.       I licked her clit, and
her legs pulled up a little more and her paws found my hair, and I could
feel her orgasm approaching, her  claws  extending just a little against
my skull.
       Slowly her orgasm built, and I teased  her, sometimes pausing for
whole seconds to let her die down  a  bit,  just to tease her some more.
"Pleaserrrrrrr...." her moan died down into a purr that was more needful
than anything, and  I  gave,  now  caressing  her  clit  with  my tongue
directly, fully, giving her the needed pressure, the speed, and then her
whole body shuddered, silently, the  muscles  in her body contracting in
approach, and then,  quietly  and  violently,  she  came,  releasing her
tension and shaking with pleasure as her orgasm crested and dropped, and
slowly smoothed away.
     She lay there, eyes closed and  breathing  hard.  I slowly moved up
along her body and slid down  next  to  her,  cuddling  next to her, and
waited.
She turned to look at me, and then she smiled, showing teeth.  "That was
wonderrrfulll.  Mom was rright, you arre good."  I grinned back.
     Then I lost that grin.  "Ember, are you  sure you want to do this?"
I asked, still not sure of my  answer.   I looked at the clock.  She was
still fifteen, and would be for at least another thirty minutes.
     "Yes." was all she said.
     "Then...do you want to be on top?   Let  you  control what happens,
how fast, and all?"  Truth to tell,  I'd've  preferred that.  Less guilt
if it turned out it hurt a lot.
     But she shook her head.  "No, please.   I want to lie herre, I want
to feel you on top of me, taking me.   Please, Elf, I need it to be that
way."   Her   eyes   were   almost   in   tears.    "I  want  it  to  be
like...I...surrrenderr myself to you..." and she whispered the last word
"...father."
     I looked at her, and whether she meant  that word in the sense that
people sometimes call me  "Na'shardiik"  or whether she meant it as "the
guy whose always been there for me  since  I was born," it didn't bother
me so much.  I think I understood  her,  and  I loved her more then then
ever before.  I moved over  her,  and  knelt  between  her legs, parting
them.  Slowly, I looked down at  my  cock,  which  in all my thought had
lost a little stiffness, and she  smiled,  and slowly stroked it to life
with her soft paws, and it grew back  to its hardness, and I pushed back
and the head of my cock held still at her cunt.  I looked into her eyes,
and she stared back into mine,  and  then,  very  slowly, just once, she
nodded.
     I pushed forward, our  breath  sounding  loud  in my ears, her eyes
becoming all that I saw as I felt  my  cock enter her, pushing past that
first, virgin ring of resistance  and  taking her.  Her eyes shut, and a
little mewl of pain escaped  her,  and  I  slid into her fully, until my
hips met hers, and I just held there,  until she opened her eyes.  There
were tears there, but  she  smiled,  slowly,  and  in  caiss she sniffed
"hurts..."
     "I know.  Just take a few breaths, and wait."
     She nodded again, gently.  I waited myself, a little afraid that my
erection would flag and disappoint  her.   But  she looked up again, and
whispered "Fuck me, Elf, please.  Let me feel it."
     I looked at her face, then down between our bodies to where we were
joined, and slowly I began to pull  back,  until I was almost out.  Then
slowly back in.   "Faster,"  she  mewled,  and  I  wasn't sure whether I
pleased her or hurt her, but  I  obliged,  speeding  up, my hips meeting
hers on every stroke,  my  cock  enveloped  by  her  tight warm wet soft
glove.  Mine.  Mine first.  And  I  did  fuck  her, my cock going in and
out, faster and harder and her arms were around me and her claws against
my back as I pressed myself lightly against her, fucking her warm little
body.  My cock had a life of its own,  and I could feel the tightness in
my balls, and I whispered in  my  speed  "Ember...I'm  going..." and she
replied "Go..." and with  her  permission  I  exploded my come into her,
filling her for the first  time  with  semen  and then feeling my orgasm
wind down, and slowly my mind  returned  to me.  I looked up at her, and
her eyes danced again in the dim light, and she laughed.
     I smiled back, tearfully happy, and we laughed together. "Oh, gods,
Ember, thank you."
     "Thank you, too, father.  That was the best birthday present I ever
got."  And her voice was happy and free from pain.  And we laughed again
as 
I rolled over and off of her.  She gasped. "Oh, no..."
     "What?" I asked, worried all of a sudden.
     "You're bleeding.  I think I clawed your back."
     I put a hand there, and sure enough,  it came back red.  "'Sokay, I
heal fast.   Doesn't  hurt.   Just  remember  not  to  do  it next time.
Besides, you're bleeding, too, a  little,"  I  said, glancing down at my
cock.  But she just  grinned  at  that,  and  then  slowly what I'd said
dawned on her.
     "Next time?  You mean, like, you, and me?"
     "Yeah, like next time you and  me  and  this  room, or maybe out on
Abornia plain, where your mother and  I first, or who knows?  But if you
want, there will be next time."
     "Yes! Yes, I want there to be  a  next  time.   I know I can't come
between you and your work, but..."
     "Ember, beloved grandchild of mine, you  were born in my house, and
you may stay here forever.  I love you, now in...more and different ways
than before, but love you I do.  Stay around, and I guarantee there will
be a next time.  Now...let's get  some  sleep,  together, here.  Oh, and
look, It's still  Elenya.   You  won't  be  a  kitten  when you become a
caiss."
     "Will you still call me your kitten?"
     "I don't think you could ever stop being my kitten."
 

        The Journal Entries are (c) 1990 Kenneth Sternberg.

elf@halcyon.wa.co 
A Man Without A Macro (So Far....)

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