G9348712%NMSUVM1.BITNET@MITVMA.MIT.EDU (G a b r i e l) (02/21/90)
hello, gaynetters. i have put my two cents in on many of your lives. now it's your turn. i want your comments on this: i've commented on being a part of the synagogue, and how it's important to me. well, i have just turned down an offer to act for and with the synagogue, and it bothers me. the synagogue received an invitation from a christian church some 70 miles away (we're spread out here in the desert, and this is the closest synagogue). the church's youth group is study comparative religion, and invited us to send someone to talk to them about judaism. we are without a rabbi until july, so the synagogue president wanted to send me, another adult, *our* youth group and the group's leader. the youth group consists of about 10 kids, 13-17 years old. we would leave here 8:30 sunday morning, get there about 10, stay until 12, then go to an 'omni-max' theater in the other town, and come back maybe by 3 or so. i hate getting up early on sundays: what's the point of being jewish if i can't sleep late on sundays? (:-) but, in addition to that, i feel i would have to 'behave myself' for the 7 hours or so that i would be with the youth group. they are practically 'birthright liberals,' but some are in the throes of puberty, trying to figure out their own sexual identity, and i get the feeling that some of them have a hard time coping with my gayness. i would not be speaking about gayness and the synagogue (unless the topic came up, in which case i would talk about the reform jewish positive stance on gayness). in addition, i have to admit that, not being a parent, i really don't know how to act as someone 'in loco parentis,' which i would be to some extent, anyway. i think, though, that the main thing that makes me look forward to such a day as an *ordeal* is that i would have to guard my tongue on a weekend day -- a day i usually devote to a more laid back way of living. i don't like turning the synagogue down. they are happy to represented by me. in general, i have turned down a number of opportunities to spend more time with the synagogue's adult members, as well as the youth group, and i'm afraid that (1) it will appear to be my bigotry against straights, and that (2) it will give people the idea i have rejected them personally. i'm not expecting solutions. but i would appreciate feedback. thanks. g a b r i e l
CMSU@DB1.CC.ROCHESTER.EDU (02/22/90)
Gabriel-- as you know it was one said: "If I am not for me, who will be, If not now, when." Do you know a Jew who isn't ambivalent about some- thing?? I am not sure quite how to say all this, but as a parent, a Jew, and a bi/les, my reactionn to your situation is fine, so you took care of yourself. it is ok. Where is it written we have to be everything for everyone all the time?? I would like to hear what you have to say about the reform pos- tion is on gay/les. and how it is for you in your congregation. corinne