gilly@bucsf.bu.edu (Gilly Rosenthol) (01/18/90)
Gilly, wearing her Winnie-the-Pooh jeans (Winnie on one leg, Eeyore on the other - my little sister painted them for me), a worn black sweatshirt, and a *warm* pair of hiking boots (nasty glare at people in warm climates ;-), stands up from the corner where she has frantically been trying to catch up on the 224 messages that she missed over break. She has been mentally composing a few postings over break, but they will be written eventually. Right now, a conversation has come up that she has been thinking about for a while. "I was accorded the great honor," she says, "of being included on the Empath's mailing list." She sketches a quick bow in the direction of that table, then turns away. "And I have felt like a fraud for it ever since. *I am not an empath*. For the sake of communication, let me clarify my definition of an empath - I think it is one who can 'read' emotions, as telepaths 'read' minds. I wish I had this talent. I want to be a psychologist, and I'm scared stiff that I won't be any good. Sure, I care, and that's important. But I can't help if I don't know what's wrong, and I often don't." She looks around the room at all her old friends, all the people who have come in in her absence, all the lurkers - taking everyone in. "Dani said he can appreciate what causes people's hurts, and how it feels, but that that doesn't mean that he necessarily cares, just that he understands. Well, I care about all of you. But that doesn't mean I *understand* all of you, or know how you feel. I care terribly about Jilara - but I have had a very happy, innocent life. How can I possibly really know how she feels? I am very happy to be friends with the Tabbifli - but I can't know how it feels to have a family like hers. I can't know how it feels to have a wife leave me, or a sister die. Is caring enough? I don't know, but it's all I can do for now." Gilly shakes her head ruefully. "I'm rambling again. I'm not quite sure what my point was meant to be anymore. But I do feel better for having finally said how I feel." She collects a drink from Mike and drains the glass. "Anyway, here's to caring, and to trying to learn more." She smiles at the sound of the glass crashing against the fireplace. "God, I missed that sound!" ************************* To everyone who sent me mail - answers are coming, I just need to catch up a bit first. Hugs and warm fuzzies to Diana, Jilara, Moonchilde, Tabbifli, Taldin, and too many others to mention. (Okay, the real reason is that I have a mind like a steel trap - everything that goes in get crushed and mangled - and those are the ones that come to mind right now. Sorry!) Something that occurred to me over vacation, while watching Cheers. I used to listen to that theme song - you know, "Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. You want to be where you can see that troubles are all the same. You want to go where everybody knows your name" or close, anyway. I used to listen to that and think wistfully about how nice it would be to have a place like that to go to. And then I realized, now I do! This is the only newsgroup that I really feel that I'm a part of. And for the shy little bookworm who used to hide in corners to avoid being made fun of, really belonging is the most wonderful feeling I've had in a long time. So thanks to Chris for making this group, and to everyone here for making it the wonderful group it is, and for letting me be a part of it. Have you ever noticed that my afterthoughts are often longer than my postings? -- +--------------------+-------------------------------------------------------+ | Gilly Rosenthol |"Don't dream it, be it" -The Rocky Horror Picture Show | | gilly@bucsb.bu.edu |"On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. | | | L'essentiel est invisible aux yeux." -Le Petit Prince | +--------------------+-------------------------------------------------------+ -- +--------------------+-------------------------------------------------------+ | Gilly Rosenthol |"Don't dream it, be it" -The Rocky Horror Picture Show | | gilly@bucsb.bu.edu |"On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. | | | L'essentiel est invisible aux yeux." -Le Petit Prince | +--------------------+-------------------------------------------------------+