COSMO@TRIUMFER (01/16/90)
>> (text deleted) >>Sometimes they've figured out I have something to do with things not >>working (which is what I want, 'cause I'm baiting them), and if they ask >>me what the heck I think I'm doing, I just smile, and say, 'Just wanted >>to watch you squirm. My God's bigger than yours. (Nya nya na naa naa)' >> (text deleted) >>Peace >>David >Just thought I would throw out a scripture that seemd to apply; > >Luke 10:18-20 > He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you > authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power > of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the > spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." > >Please note that this is not a rebuke for David, I am not implying that he is >on some sort of power trip, in fact part of what I deleted talks about his >being available for leading others to God. >What I do want to say is that there is a danger of misusing the power the Jesus >has given us. Just keep your eyes on Jesus and His wonders and His love and do >the things that He has asked and life will be wonderful. Well, maybe it should have been a rebukation, and here's why. After posting the message I was feeling pretty keen about myself, a resurgence of the self-rightous, holier-than-though ego tripping I've had to bash down periodically ever since I was a teenager. After work Friday I got on the bus and took it downtown to transfer to the connection which takes me home. I was feeling pretty smug and self contented, thinking things along the line of, "golly, ain't I great, I can deal with witches and everyone else is freaked out by them. Those other people should learn to relax and learn that nothing evil can hurt you when you have God as your shield, (bla bla bla)." Well, I'm waiting at the bus stop, and this freaky looking gargoyl suddely walks up beside me and starts staring at me. He was 6'4, head shaved bald and polished, dressed in black fishnet and leather, and decked out in chains. He was ugly and scary looking, and suddely said, "Gee Dave (yes, DAVE! He knew my name!), going home so early? Why not stick around and watch the fun?" My belly did a major flip-flop, so I started prattling to myself in my head, saying, "just relax... don't panic, The Lord is my Sheppard..." His face went calm, and he just stood there, as though he were waiting for me to try something, staring at me with his wild, beady eyes. The bus came, and I jumped on board maybe just a little bit too enthusiasticly, and although he stayed behind, I was followed on by four downtown crazies. They took seats behind me, and suddenly started this conversation between themselves loud enough for me to hear, to the effect of, "Gee, Dave (again, using my name, and I'd never seen any of them before!) doesn't get scared of anything, does he? *chuckle* *giggle* No, Dave is sooo brave. Dave doesn't have to worry. *giggle* Dave is protected, right? Oh yes, Dave is sooo protected. Gee, wouldn't it be nice if all of us could be that secure..." etc. Now, you know, it takes a bit of discipline to maintain one's faith in a situation like that, and I was getting too awfully close to loosing my cool. The only thing I could think of was to close my eyes and start engaging in the most frantic bit of prayer you can imagine. I started saying something like, "What's going on Jesus, this isn't supposed to happen!", and they'd all giggle, and I WASN'T talking out loud. Eventually I just quit the prattle and tried to get as connected to God as I could, sort of like the way a frightened pet will run up and jump in your arms and shiver. None too soon it was my stop, and I got the heck off saying things in my head like, "Please, Please, Please Jesus, don't let them follow me!" Thankfully they didn't (I was ready to rabbit over fences and through hedges in and out of people's yards all over the neighborhood to shake them off, although if they knew my name, they could have found me anyway). I got home, went strait to my room, got down, and started praying to find out what was going on. I kept getting a cold feeling, which I'm not accustomed to, so I kept challenging the feeling to see if it was from God or something evil. Still, it felt cold, and it changed to the kind of feeling I'd get as a kid when my parents caught me at something bad, sort of a fear of someone big and angery at me. I was puzzled, and still not sure I was getting through to God, when I heard a voice say, "There's someone I want you to meet." Then, in my minds eye, I saw a big, burly, sort of human looking fellow, with a big bushy beard, a huge sword in his hand, and decked out in some wierd kind of armor... and he was REALLY MAD about something. He was stomping around, bashing inanimate objects, looking at me with fiery eyes, and shouting, "You sniveling little rat! You little @#$%! (sorry, that's what he said). Just what the #$%& do you think you're doing! Just what do you think it takes to protect you guys!" etc. It kind of went on, but I think you get the drift. Anyway, by the time he was finished, the upshot was that I've been trivializing the subject, and giving people the notion that I've got some special kind of grace, when really I'm lucky God even bothers to glance in my direction. He rattled off a list of transgressions which was embarrasingly long, and wouldn't stop his tirade until I felt sick to my stomach and started kind of blubbering. He said the only reason I'd had such an easy time with the witches was because the ones I'd met weren't really bad people; just misguided, and that I'd never delt with any really hard cases. He walked/faded away grumbling to himself, and I opened my eyes, looked around my room, feeling very lousy and alone. I had a bad sleep that night, and spent Saturday pulling a lip, sulking the way a kid would if it had been spanked. By Sunday I was still feeling rotten, but I managed to grit my teeth and sit down to some reading and whatever prayer I could muster, even though I kind of felt like I was talking into the dark. I felt like I'd been abandoned, but all of a sudden an old friend of mine, who'd always been nicely in tune with God's way, and whom I'd not seen in nine years, showed up, saying, "Just thought while I was in town I should visit." I invited him in, and we talked, and suddenly out of the blue he says, "Look, I don't know what you're all grumped up about, but I had a dream about you last night, and I don't know why, but I think I should tell you to cool out and quite worrying. Specifically I think I'm supposed to tell you to get back to reality and stop being so uptight, because your needs ARE being taken care of, so quit sulking and, whatever it is, get over it." I don't know why, but it made me feel better, or at least got me over the feeling that I'd been cast adrift, so I was able to pray again and feel like I wasn't alone. Maybe one thing which can cut us off from God is when we think he isn't listening, which somehow prevents a link from being established. So, I'd say the last sentance in this passage is true. Luke 10:18-20 He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." Peace David