rreid@csuchico.edu (Ralph Reid) (03/22/90)
Index Number: 7221
[This article is from the misc.kids newsgroup. Bill McGarry]
Last summer, I broke up with my girl friend. That in itself was
nothing special, but one of the things that contributed to our
separation was.
She had been blind since birth; and, her parents did their best
to protect her from the bad things in the world. But, did they go
too far? Her mother laid her clothes out for her each morning
(apparently she could not select her own clothes); although she could
cook a little, this blind woman almost never prepared any meals by
herself; her parents seemed surprised that a blind person might be
able to eat a meal with a knife and fork; she did not manage her own
bank account, and handled cash only when it was given to her by one
of her parents. In other words, she was being so over protected and
restricted by her caring parents that she was not capable of
functioning in American society as an adult.
This woman has no disabilities other than her blindness. She
was going to college as of last summer (I am glad I had that positive
influence in her life), and was doing about average. Before we met,
she spent her days making hook rugs to give to her relatives; she had
never considered doing anything else with her life before we met.
She was almost always full of energy, and enjoyed new experiences.
Unfortunately, almost everything outside of her house, and
neighborhood was a new experience. The first time she walked all the
way around the block she lives on without a sighted person was last
summer (at least she knows she can do it, now).
It was obvious to me that her parents care for her very much.
However, have they protected their daughter from the world so much
that they have actually abused their daughter? If a child has been
protected so much when he or she is growing up that the child never
learns how to behave as an adult, have the parents abused that child?
I believe the answer to both of these questions is yes. Many parents
of a disabled child tend to protect that child to the point where the
child is incapable of handling adult life when he or she becomes an
adult. Certainly, there are some physical and mental disabilities
which can make adult life difficult or impossible; however, there are
also many disabilities which are not as limiting as some people
(even parents) cause them to be. At some point, this woman's
parents will not be able to take care of her any more, and (unless
some major changes take place before then), she will be dumed into
a board-and-care home (or some other institution); what a waste of a
life.
Ralph.
rreid@cscihp.csuchico.edu
I post my opinions herein, with the hope that others might benefit
from them.