rreid@csuchico.edu (Ralph Reid) (03/22/90)
Index Number: 7221 [This article is from the misc.kids newsgroup. Bill McGarry] Last summer, I broke up with my girl friend. That in itself was nothing special, but one of the things that contributed to our separation was. She had been blind since birth; and, her parents did their best to protect her from the bad things in the world. But, did they go too far? Her mother laid her clothes out for her each morning (apparently she could not select her own clothes); although she could cook a little, this blind woman almost never prepared any meals by herself; her parents seemed surprised that a blind person might be able to eat a meal with a knife and fork; she did not manage her own bank account, and handled cash only when it was given to her by one of her parents. In other words, she was being so over protected and restricted by her caring parents that she was not capable of functioning in American society as an adult. This woman has no disabilities other than her blindness. She was going to college as of last summer (I am glad I had that positive influence in her life), and was doing about average. Before we met, she spent her days making hook rugs to give to her relatives; she had never considered doing anything else with her life before we met. She was almost always full of energy, and enjoyed new experiences. Unfortunately, almost everything outside of her house, and neighborhood was a new experience. The first time she walked all the way around the block she lives on without a sighted person was last summer (at least she knows she can do it, now). It was obvious to me that her parents care for her very much. However, have they protected their daughter from the world so much that they have actually abused their daughter? If a child has been protected so much when he or she is growing up that the child never learns how to behave as an adult, have the parents abused that child? I believe the answer to both of these questions is yes. Many parents of a disabled child tend to protect that child to the point where the child is incapable of handling adult life when he or she becomes an adult. Certainly, there are some physical and mental disabilities which can make adult life difficult or impossible; however, there are also many disabilities which are not as limiting as some people (even parents) cause them to be. At some point, this woman's parents will not be able to take care of her any more, and (unless some major changes take place before then), she will be dumed into a board-and-care home (or some other institution); what a waste of a life. Ralph. rreid@cscihp.csuchico.edu I post my opinions herein, with the hope that others might benefit from them.