Vixen@f11.n203.z1.fidonet.org (Vixen) (06/28/90)
Index Number: 8958
Hi Barbara,
Well, how can Vixen let a discussion about sexuality pass by
without saying something!
Based on my own experiences, I have found that disABLED guys that
have trouble approaching women, seem to be pretty much the same as
able bodied guys who have the same problem. Except, some of the
disABLED guys feel that their disability is an additional obstacle
that would prevent a woman from being interested in them.
Of course, I am speaking from my perspective as a woman and a
disABLED woman and a woman who has worked with disABLED Persons.
There have been a number of times when I have been told by a third
party something like, "Hey Karen, you know what, Magoombo O'brian
would really like to ask you out!" But, Magoombo wouldn't do it
because he was in a wheelchair or deaf or whatever and just
"automatically" assumed that I could not possibly be interested.
Then what happens is that I feel bad for Magoombo and I also feel
annoyed that Magoombo has just automatically judged me that way
even though he never even approached me!
Also, Vixen does really take good care of herself and is very much
younger appearing than her years and men do like to flirt with me.
And, this seems to compound my problem too! That a lot of guys
think that I am out on a hot date everynight with all these abled
studs and I wouldn't have time for them! The fact is, I am not out
half as much as I would like to be and I am far more in terested in
a plain old nice guy who really cares about me as a person, whether
he is disABLED or not! I really have no desire to be chasing "Ken
dolls" the way people seem to think I probably am.
I often think to myself, the only way this guy is going to go out
with me, is if I ask him! Just once, if one of these guys would get
the courage to ask me, I think I would fall over!
And what is really dumb about all of this is that I am a disABLED
person too! Certainly that doesn't make me all knowing about other
disabilities, but it does makes me more socially aware and
accepting of other disABLED people as worthwhile and interesting
people.
I think much of this really just boils down to self confidence and
not pre judging other people! Heck, I don't mind going dancing with
someone in a wheelchair or who is H.I. or to a movie with a sighted
person and so on and so on!.
A nice guy is a nice guy is a nice guy! I know that that is all I
require from someone I go out with!
Keepin' the faith!
. Vixen
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