[misc.handicap] MORE ON SEXUALITY

Vixen@f11.n203.z1.fidonet.org (Vixen) (06/28/90)

Index Number: 8959

Hi,

On the more negative side, it is true that some abled people simply
cannot conceive of going out with a disABLED person and don't think
of us as sexual beings. It is just a fact.

Personally, men, both abled and disABLED, seem to take much
interest me, generally speaking. However, to be blunt, I have had
male friends who very much wanted to "bed me" and were very
obviously attracted to me (both to me and others in their
obviousness.) and some almost always seemed to be "nearby."

As I have become more disABLED and dependant on the use of
appliances to keep in the mainstream of life. Some of these guys
just could not handle that at all or they at least did not want to
be seen going around with a disABLED women with hearing devices and
a white cane and so on. It didn't matter how good looking your
Vixen is to them.

I will be honest and say that I resent that, but at the same time,
none of those S.O.B.'s ever got me in bed and now for sure, never
will! I figure it is their loss, not mine! But their stupidity does
make me mad.

Right now, as a woman who knows that "men" like her quite a bit,
and who also happens to be disABLED, it is surprising just how slow
my actual social life can be compared to the fantasy life some have
told me they thought I lived!!  I have sometimes wondered what is
the greater social disability, being a "disABLED woman" or being an
"attractive woman." But, the combination is pretty hard to
overcome!

It seems like I have to be so "socially open and flirty" or many
men think that I am "snobby, stand offish and couldn't possibly be
interested in them!" It drives me right up the wall.

It doesn't ever seem to occur to "them", that "I" might be insecure
about my disabilities, health problems or personality flaws!!

Oh well, we all keep working at it! I think I need to start an echo
for this topic all alone!

Keepin' the faith!

.                               Vixen

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