[misc.handicap] Disabled in mid-life

Betty.Draughon@p10.f1.n360.z1.fidonet.org (Betty Draughon) (06/29/90)

Index Number: 8985

Gary -

     This message was misdirected to me, so I am sending it your way in the chance you did not catch it the first time around.  Hope you are feeling better.

     I bid you Peace.

                                   Betty

In a message to Betty Draughon <19 Jun 90 20:48:00> Greg See-Kee wrote:

 > GA>> I lost by hearing to Meniere's disease or sometimes called Meniere's
 > GA>> syndrome when I was 36 years old. What a slam.
 GS>    
 > GA>> My question is how can you learn to live with it after having my
 > GA>> hearing for 36 yrs. and then have nothing.
 GS>    
 > BD>      I dunno, Gary.

 GS>        See if you agree with me, Gary.

 GS> 1) Trying to live the "old-self"
 GS> 2) Medical shock/ surprise that this can happen
 GS> 3) Denying it, being angry, feeling guilty
 GS> 4) Bargaining, experimenting, "magical" solution-hunting
 GS> 5) Depression, resignation
 GS> 6) Inward searching, vulnerable but passively accepting
 GS> 7) New self-image, actively projecting the new-self
 GS> 8) Outwardly focussed.

 GS> It is like divorce.  So you had twenty or so years living Stage
 GS> One.  But experienced counsellors know that the "formula" might
 GS> be, say five years institutionalization takes one full year of
 GS> de-institutalization.

 GS> Put in plain language, it might take you four years to move from
 GS> Stage One to Stage Eight of the above process.

 GS> I have yet to work out what the "formula" might be if you became
 GS> disabled, say, when you were fifty years old instead.

 GS> Your disability has parallels to mine, which oocurred five years
 GS> ago at the my age of 35 years.

 > GA>> I don't have the money to go to a shrink and have felt like a
 > GA>> shutin with all of my so called friends disappearing from me.
 GS>    
 > BD>      Okay, now listen.  You are absolutely correct in calling them
 > BD>  your "so-called" friends.  Friends wouldn't disappear.

 GS> We both know that Betty's experiences are different to yours and
 GS> to mine.

 > GA>> Anyway I love you all and please talk to me.
 GS>    
 > BD>      I love you, too.

 GS> Actually, we are not the first people to ever experience this
 GS> Christopher Columbus voyage.  The whole path has been very
 GS> detailed in its entirety by millions of travellers before us.

 GS> I feel sorry that you don't have access to the "Road Maps" as
 GS> you start your new voyage, thirty or forty years ahead of any
 GS> schedule that would normally be expected.

 GS> If there is any room in this conference, I'll detail whatever you
 GS> might need to know later.

--
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