Wayne.Finlay@p0.f712.n250.z1.fidonet.org (Wayne Finlay) (06/28/90)
Index Number: 8965
[This is from the Spinal Injury Conference]
Hi!
I've been reading this echo for the past month or so and find it
very touching. The strength that those of you with serious spinal
cord injuries exhibit through your messages really make me believe
in the will power of humans. I have one problem though. I am a fully
mobile person. I jump, run and play....I'm in good health. What I'm
lacking is the ability to deal comfortably with people in wheel chairs.
This may sound stupid but I really don't feel comfortable around
people in wheel chairs. I'd like to hear from people who are in wheel
chairs and I ask that u tell me something about how I can get over
this disability towards you.
For example, if I see someone on the street in a manual wheel chair
and if this person is going in the same direction as I am should
I offer to push him/her? (I'd do this since I'm that sort of person,
but is it proper?)
Thanks!
> Wayne <
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!250!712.0!Wayne.Finlay
Internet: Wayne.Finlay@p0.f712.n250.z1.fidonet.orgJohn.Lynch@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org (John Lynch) (06/28/90)
Index Number: 8966 [This is from the Spinal Injury Conference] > wheel chair and if this person is going in the same direction > as I am should I offer to push him/her? (I'd do this since > I'm that sort of person, but is it proper?) > I would only offer if the person really is fighting a hill or looks totally wiped out. But ask if they want a short break, don't just grab the chair, as we, or at least I consider that an extension of my body. When you talk to someone in a chair, if there is a chair around, sitmdown. This allows normal eye contact and , believe me, saves a sore neck after a long conversation. Remember we are people first who have many interest and just happen to sit around all day! We can do anything, and I me anything you can do with the right adaptive equipment. We fly planes, drive cars, climb mountains, and cliff, and even sky dive (land in lakes). Try discussing hobbies, and odds are, you will find them just as likely to be interested as your other friends are. For get the chair, think of us as people. If you want to talk planes, come on over to the aviation echo, and I will talk Air Force planes, or civilian planes. Still fly the civilian planes. People, just like you. Regards, John -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!261!1000!John.Lynch Internet: John.Lynch@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org
Alan.Hess@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org (Alan Hess) (06/28/90)
Index Number: 8967
[This is from the Spinal Injury Conference]
In a message of <Jun 21 18:52> Wayne Finlay (1:250/712@fidonet) writes:
WF:>Hi!
WF:> I've been reading this echo for the past month or so and find it
WF:>very touching. The strength that those of you with serious spinal cord
WF:>injuries exhibit through your messages really make me believe
WF:> in the will power of humans. I have one problem though. I am a fully
WF:>mobile person. I jump, run and play....I'm in good health. What I'm
WF:>lacking is the ability to deal comfortably with people in wheel
WF:>chairs. This may sound stupid but I really don't feel comfortable
WF:>around people in wheel chairs. I'd like to hear from people who are in
WF:>wheel chairs and I ask that u tell me something about how I can get
WF:>over this disability towards you.
In my case, I just want to be treated like anyone else. As much as
possible, pretend the chair doesn't exist. If I say something you
think is stupid, say so - don't hold back your true feelings just
because of my disability. I'm still human, and want to be treated
as such. Just remember that wheelchair-users are still individuals
- we won't all react the same to identical situations.
WF:>For example, if I see someone on the street in a manual wheel chair
WF:>and if this person is going in the same direction as I am should I
WF:>offer to push him/her? (I'd do this since I'm that sort of person,
WF:>but is it proper?)
WF:>
Tricky. I personally would appreciate the offer, but many others would resent
it. Tough call there. *adh*
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!261!1000!Alan.Hess
Internet: Alan.Hess@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.orgCurtis.Oglesby@p13.f1.n360.z1.fidonet.org (Curtis Oglesby) (06/28/90)
Index Number: 8969
[This is from the Spinal Injury Conference]
WF> Hi!
WF> I've been reading this echo for the past month or so and find it
WF> very touching. The strength that those of you with serious spinal
WF> cord injuries exhibit through your messages really make me believe
WF> in the will power of humans. I have one problem though. I am a fully
WF> mobile person. I jump, run and play....I'm in good health. What I'm
WF> lacking is the ability to deal comfortably with people in wheel
WF> chairs. This may sound stupid but I really don't feel comfortable
WF> around people in wheel chairs. I'd like to hear from people who are
WF> in wheel chairs and I ask that u tell me something about how I can
WF> get over this disability towards you.
WF> For example, if I see someone on the street in a manual wheel chair
WF> and if this person is going in the same direction as I am should I
WF> offer to push him/her? (I'd do this since I'm that sort of person,
WF> but is it proper?)
Hello Wayne,
First of all, I'd say you don't feel comfortable because of
ignorance. Wait, I meam this in a literal sense, that is, lack of
knowledge. Put another way, it's the fear of the unknown. The
solution: Get to know someone using a wheelchair.
Next, I'm very mobile. I bounce, roll and play....I'm in good
health. The point here is that I'm not sickly but I do have
obvious physical limitations.
Your "disability" is a lack of knowledge. (See first paragraph for
solution)
In any situation (on the street or otherwise), don't treat people
differently. Period! Why would there be any special etiquette?
For instance, since you're that type of person, would you offer to
help a woman struggling with her arms full of groceries? Would you
offer to help a businessman with his briefcase? A quick assessment
of whether a person (any person) "needs" help should guide you. If
you think they could use a helping hand, ask 'em. Then, honor
their response. Simple.
BTW, all spinal cord injuries are serious.
Take care,
Curt
P.S. I know how you feel, but there is no "rule book." I was very
"able-bodied" for my first 23 years. People using wheelchairs are
just people. You'll like some, you won't like others.
--
Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!360!1.13!Curtis.Oglesby
Internet: Curtis.Oglesby@p13.f1.n360.z1.fidonet.orgJoe.Chamberlain@f140.n150.z1.fidonet.org (Joe Chamberlain) (06/28/90)
Index Number: 8970
[This is from the Spinal Injury Conference]
WF> This may sound stupid but I really don't feel comfortable around
WF> people in wheel chairs. I'd like to hear from people who are in wheel
WF> chairs and I ask that u tell me something about how I can get over
WF> this disability towards you.
The best way is to spend sometime getting to know the
person in the chair. We are not chairs, we are human beings who
love, hate, feel hurt, have desires, and most like to eat.
Handicapped people come in all colors, have all the
various sexual desires, participate in all kinds of educational
pursuits, and have all levels of mental ability.
The problem is if you keep avoiding the wheelchair user,
then you will never get to know the person in the chair. To
remedy the situation, try being a volunteer with a group that
will require your interaction with wheelchair users. You might
change your attitude and make new friends.
WF> For example, if I see someone on the street in a manual wheel chair
WF> and if this person is going in the same direction as I am should
WF> I offer to push him/her? (I'd do this since I'm that sort of person,
Offer. If they so no, that's okay. Some will welcome
the assist and others will perfer to do it themselves.
-=joe=-
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!150!140!Joe.Chamberlain
Internet: Joe.Chamberlain@f140.n150.z1.fidonet.orgGreg.Wick@p1.f26.n343.z1.fidonet.org (Greg Wick) (06/28/90)
Index Number: 8971
[This is from the Spinal Injury Conference]
Well As for helping push someone I don't think most people would like
it inless they were struggling uphill. I wouldn't mind but I'm in a
electric chair so I wouldn't need it, (but thanks for the offer)
As fas as not being comfertable around a person in a chair, just
remember that most people in chairs are just like you but that there
leggs don't work right. I was not in a chair longer then have have been
in one. but thanks for asking
--
Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!343!26.1!Greg.Wick
Internet: Greg.Wick@p1.f26.n343.z1.fidonet.orgsommers@pilot.njin.net (Mamaliz @ The Soup Kitchen) (07/03/90)
Index Number: 9017 >For example, if I see someone on the street in a manual wheel chair >and if this person is going in the same direction as I am should >I offer to push him/her? (I'd do this since I'm that sort of person, >but is it proper?) I'd say it depends on the circumstances. Although I am rarely in a wheel chair at home, I spend a LOT of my public time in a manual wheelchair (my disabilities are not spinal). If you see me in a mall struggling with packages and chasing my son, yes, please come over and ask me if there is something you could do to help. If you see me coming in through double doors that are too heavy, please open them. Please do not pat me on the head and ask "and how are we today?" I am liable to bite. lizzy -- lizzy sommers@njin.pilot.net
Jerry.Pickup@p33.f1.n360.z1.fidonet.org (Jerry Pickup) (07/04/90)
Index Number: 9037
[This is from the Spinal Injury Conference]
In a message to All <21 Jun 90 18:52:00> Wayne Finlay wrote:
WF> Hi!
Hi Wayne!
WF> chairs. This may sound stupid but I really don't feel comfortable
WF> around people in wheel chairs. I'd like to hear from people who are
WF> in wheel chairs and I ask that u tell me something about how I can
WF> get over this disability towards you.
Doesn't sound stupid to me, I used to be that way. I partially got
over it when I made friends with a guy who had no legs. I learned
that people in wheelchairs are really no different than anyone else
except that they can't walk. My friend passed away and since that
time I had amotorcycle accident and now I have my very own
wheelchair.
The best thing you can do is to realize that people with
disabilities are just people like anyone else. Some have bad
attitudes and some good. Some are loveable and some are hateful.
Chances are whatever they were before they were disabled, that's
exactly what they are now.
If you have an opportunity to befriend a disabled person, do so.
You will learn alot and your fear and discomfort will leave you.
WF> For example, if I see someone on the street in a manual wheel chair
WF> and if this person is going in the same direction as I am should I
WF> offer to push him/her? (I'd do this since I'm that sort of person,
WF> but is it proper?)
Nothing wrong with, "Hey, buddy can I give you a push?" but be
ready to accept a "No thanks, I've got it." Most people like to do
as much as they can for themselves and if they don't need help they
probably don't want it.
The only truly offensive thing you could do would be to thrust your
help upon someone without asking first.
I wish more able bodied people would ask the same kind of questions
you are asking here!
-Jerry
--
Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!360!1.33!Jerry.Pickup
Internet: Jerry.Pickup@p33.f1.n360.z1.fidonet.org