Nadine.Thomas@p0.f10.n300.z1.fidonet.org (Nadine Thomas) (07/18/90)
Index Number: 9192
Hi Marda.... saw your message to Frank and wanted to throw in my 2
cents worth. Hope that is okay. Lithium is nothing more than salt
that the brain needs. Many people have a deficiency of that salt and
lithium merely balances that chemical in the brain. I know you will be
alright cause you are alright right NOW. Keep in mind that you are NOT
alone, people love and care about you AND have been through experiences
that may not be EXACTLY like yours but similar in many different ways.
I know it does not seem like you are alright right now but you are -
you are a human being with human emotions and feelings and acting and
reacting as a human does. I do not know of many people who, at one
time or another, have not gone through a crisis of similar sorts. My
childhood and background was pretty bad and I had absolutely NO memory
of it until about 2 years ago and then all hell broke loose and I had
to face and look at things I did not want to deal with but with the
help of wonderful people who are my family of CHOICE, and a couple of
great counselors [therapists] I am on the other side of much of it. I
kept asking if there was another side and would I get there without
going off the deep end totally and they assured me that there was and I
would get there. 10 years ago I was in a psych unit for anxiety
attacks - It had been drug induced [anti-depressants] but the docs
didn't know it. I spent one month in there and I learned a lot of
things about myself and that was the start of a journey that has gotten
me here - I am a person today who is still learning but has learned
sooooooo much about myself. It has been quite painful at times and
there were times I wanted to kill myself so I would not feel the pain
anymore - but I hung on. I had people around me who cared and who told
me how sad they would be if I did end my life - I didn't believe them
but a part of me held on to it because the look in their eyes told me
they meant it and no matter how much I tried to push them away, they
never left - they understood - they had been there too.
You have added so much to my life and I want to make this journey with
you, as a support, if you will let me.
Nadine
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Internet: Nadine.Thomas@p0.f10.n300.z1.fidonet.orgReed.Hopkins@f7.n125.z1.fidonet.org (Reed Hopkins) (07/21/90)
Index Number: 9361
MA>> "Don't quit five minutes before the miracle." is a good
saying. MA>> That's assuming, of course, that there is a miracle.
How do MA>> you know or is that just a matter of faith for you? In
my MA>> times of deepest depression and darkest despair, I begin to
wonder.
Marda, I've discovered over the last few years that my life is
filled with all sorts of miracles, but that until I had my eyes
opened to them I could never see them. "Don't quit five minutes
before the miracle" is a great saying. As I look back on my life I
see clearly that every trial or tribulation that I ever went
through, and believe me, there have been many, always led to a
greater good of some sort.
One of the things that helped me see the miracles, big and small,
was the restructuring of my world view to recognize that there is
really no luck, nor are there coincidences. Or, as one wise person
put it - "A coincidence is a miricle in which God chooses to remain
anonymous."
I have my own understanding of God, I'm not interested in getting
into any theological discussions or anything like that - all I know
is that including a "universal force" in my world view altered it
in a way that a totally non-functional person became highly
functional. At first I operated totally on faith. People that I
trusted, that lived the sort of life that I wanted to live, told me
that trusting this universal power (which I choose to call God, or
on occasion Murphy) would work, and after trying it out I had
enough "miracles" happen in my life that I came to believe through
experience.
It DOES boil down to faith for me. Trust doesn't come easy to me,
but when I began trusting (having faith in) this
not-quite-invisible God, things started to work out for me beyond
my wildest dreams. Of course, I feel that I have my end of the deal
to keep up too. I try to live my life as tolerantly, kindly,
unselfishly, and honestly as I possibly can, and in return God
"grants" me serenity and peace. (A grant being a conditional gift.
Go to school & get money for instance.)
Hang in there and let yourself change....
Reed
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