Jean.Prophet@f33.n371.z1.fidonet.org (Jean Prophet) (08/25/90)
Index Number: 9984
[This is from the Spinal Injury Conference]
Below is a message I received NetMail today ..... I thought it was
'worthy' of forwarding over here. I responded back NetMail to her.
Sometimes when WE think WE have problems we find someone else has worse
problems. Hope you all enjoy the message as I did.
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* Forwarded from Uucp, 114/15
* Originally to Jean Prophet
* Originally dated 20 Aug 90 06:53:14
From: asuvax.eas.asu.edu!dsac.dla.mil!nff2356 (Sue Frederick)
To: <Jean.Prophet@f33.n371.z1.fidonet.org>
Date: Mon, 20 Aug 90 06:52:34 -0400
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Jean, I saw your posting on the network about living & loving.
If you don't mind, I'd like to tell my own story (but I don't dare
post it from work!). If you would like, you may post this story in
the misc.handicap newsgroup.
I was married only six weeks when I had an accident resulting
in my permanent disability. It was a very rough time for me and
for my husband as we were still adjusting to living together (we
had only known each other 3 months before we got married!) I was
in the hospital for a while and on crutches for 6 months! The
entire first year of our marriage was spent in going to PT & trying
to be a "normal" wife. There were many times he was afraid to touch
me for fear that he would hurt me. I had to convince him it was
alright to want to be close to me. I wanted very much to be close
to him as I felt I really needed his love and support in adjusting
to my new situation.
When we had been married for a little less than 3 years, we
discovered he had terminal cancer. The surgery he had to remove
the metastasis in his brain resulted in the total loss of the use
of his left arm & hand. He also had to undergo radiation treatments
and finally chemotherapy. He became very weak and dependent on me
(how's that for a switch?). He had always been very affectionate
with me, but he became almost "clingy". I didn't mind, though,
because I knew he needed me and he was very scared. (I was scared,
too!) The new metastasis that grew in his brain resulted in a loss
of coordination and an extreme weakness in his legs. It got to where
he could not sit up without help. I held his head on my shoulder for
many, many hours & just stroked his back & head (he no longer had
any hair). The night he died we had a long talk. He was satisfied
that I would be alright without him (I had gone through Voc Rehab &
was put on the payroll of my job the day before he died). He had
been very worried that I would be left to pay his bills & have no
job. The day I got my job he relaxed & let go of this world. I
stayed with him the whole night and held his hand. He waited
until I had left the room to get a drink to finally stop breathing.
It was all very peaceful as he knew where he was going and was glad
to have the suffering over with.
I know this doesn't sound like it has anything to do with the
posts before it, but I think it says that if you loved each other
the state of your bodies doesn't matter. Love (real love, that is)
is forever!
Sue Frederick
Internet : sfrederick@dsac.dla.mil
UUCP : ...!osu-cis!dsac!sfrederick
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Internet: Jean.Prophet@f33.n371.z1.fidonet.org