Jean.Prophet@f33.n371.z1.fidonet.org (Jean Prophet) (08/14/90)
Index Number: 9810
[This is from the Spinal Injury Conference]
Maybe I'm wrong, but I think some people think too much about 'How
much money I'm going to get from my accident.
Money isn't everything (it definately helps, but isn't the MOST
important thing in life).
Buddy was offered over $156,000 to settle his accident claim. We did
NOT accept that offer. They take care of ALL his medical expenses for the
rest of his life.
Now, instead of taking the 'lump sum', we opted to take an annuity
for as long as Buddy lives (if he lives another 40 years, they still have
to pay every 2 weeks). It will come out to MUCH more than the $156,000
they offered us this way. AND, this way, I can make SURE that he will be
taking care of medically for the rest of his life. We can take the money
anytime we care to if we want to 'settle'. The Insurance company would
definately like us to do this.
This is not good for me, but better for him. If something happens to
Buddy, then ALL payments stop. If I was the selfish type, I would pressure
Buddy to take the 'lump sum' - thus making sure that *I* was provided for.
BUT, I'm betting that he will live another 35 to 40 years .... besides
that, if he gets 'paid' every 2 weeks, he feels that he's 'paying the
bills' <grin>. I want HIM to feel important .... Besides that, I love him
very much ... I 'banking' that we will still have a LONG life together ..!!
NO amount of money can EVER compensate for pain, suffering, mental
anguish etc ..... Everyone has to do what THEY think best for themselves
... Make the best of the situation, do what you can, rest when you need to
and try and make every consideration for your partner. This is the best
advice I can offer.
Jean
--
Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!371!33!Jean.Prophet
Internet: Jean.Prophet@f33.n371.z1.fidonet.orgJean.Prophet@f33.n371.z1.fidonet.org (Jean Prophet) (08/21/90)
Index Number: 9906 [This is from the Spinal Injury Conference] > The hardest thing was that I really wasn't concerned about the > amount of $$ I was going to get..but I was feeling harassed, > belittled, etc...just because I wasn't in a "wheelchair"...(That's > what State Farm stated..."You'd get more $$ if you were in a > wheelchair!") I think ALL insurance companies try to intimidate you. Buddy isn't in a wheel chair either .... he walks only becuase he is SO determined NOT to be 'restricted' (his words). Alot of people think he's perfectally OK becuase he's mobile .... He ISN'T perfectally OK .... He suffers something terrible .. He forces himself to move around .... (He also puts on a wonderful 'front' to other people that don't really know him ... the DOCTORS know better ... the THERAPHISTS know better ... *I* know better ... Our FAMILY knows better .... but to outsiders, he looks OK most of the time. When he doesn't feel well, he 'hides' himeself away from the eyes of other people .... We had several confrontations with the insurance company. They 'watched' him carefully. He 'stumbles', drags his foot, spazms happen when he doesn't want them to happen .... The insurance company STILL wanted NOT to believe all the doctor's reports (and there were many INCLUDING the insurance companies doctors report that said Buddy was 100% disabled. They HAD to believe THEIR doctor .. <Grin>. I understand how you feel about the insurance comapny making you feel 'degraded' and like you aren't telling the truth. They are brutal !! BUT, just hang in there ... DON'T let them get to you. You ARE important - You ARE hurt - You DO deserve compensation for your pain and suffering - and most of all, We all here DO love ya' !!!! > I guess what I am saying is that I am tired of it...and changing > myself was the first step..I am recovering... I understand that .... we fought for several years ... *I* got tired of it ... Buddy got tired of it. We wanted to 'give up' (but we didn't). > I even stopped going to the Chronic Pain support group, since > everyone else made their pain seem more important...and it was > depressing to listen to them. No one's pain is more important .... And a lot of people feel pain worse than others (Buddy's pain tolerance is VERY high ... mine, well, if I get a little 'cut' I think I'm going to die <sheepish grin>). I'm sure that your pain is very real, and you might be one of those people (like me) that doesn't tolerate pain very well. I don't mean to be a 'Baby' about my pain (I have severe Arthuritus (sp) in my back) ... BUT, when it hurts, it HURTS !!! I try not to complain becasue Buddy's pain must be so much more severe than I can ever imagine .... I've tried not to complain at all, but I do (everyone does .... ). You just keep posting, we'll try and give all the support we can. You ARE important !!! Just keep remembering that. Love, Jean -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!371!33!Jean.Prophet Internet: Jean.Prophet@f33.n371.z1.fidonet.org
cas@mtdcb.att.com (Clifford A Stevens, Jr) (08/28/90)
Index Number: 9997
In article <13611@bunker.UUCP>, Jean.Prophet@f33.n371.z1.fidonet.org (Jean Prophet) writes:
JP> Index Number: 9906
JP>
JP> > I even stopped going to the Chronic Pain support group, since
JP> > everyone else made their pain seem more important...and it was
JP> > depressing to listen to them.
JP>
JP> No one's pain is more important .... And a lot of people feel pain
JP> worse than others (Buddy's pain tolerance is VERY high ... mine, well, if I
JP> get a little 'cut' I think I'm going to die <sheepish grin>). I'm sure
JP> that your pain is very real, and you might be one of those people (like me)
JP> that doesn't tolerate pain very well. I don't mean to be a 'Baby' about my
JP> pain (I have severe Arthuritus (sp) in my back) ... BUT, when it hurts, it
JP> HURTS !!!
As I've learned from long hours of arguing w my therapists, you
*CAN NOT* compare like that! OK, you can say, "A needle in my
finger sends me into hysterics, but does not bother Buddy!", but
does that imply that each of you has the same stimulus traveling up
to your brains, and that your brains handle the stimulus the same?
And a persons pain *IS* the most important! (To him! Except for a
few unusual people!)
And arthuritus is spelled arthritis. :-)
------------
Militant Handicapped Survivor!
Cliff Stevens MT1E228 att!cbnewsj!ncas (908)671-7292Frank.Whitney@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org (Frank Whitney) (09/05/90)
Index Number: 10085 [This is from the Spinal Injury Conference] > I even stopped going to the Chronic Pain support group, since everyone >else made their pain seem more important...and it was depressing to listen >to them. It's no longer a support group when they compete to have the worst problem. Love, Frank -- Via Opus Msg Kit v1.01 -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!261!1000!Frank.Whitney Internet: Frank.Whitney@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org