Rusty.Ferguson@p2.f13.n123.z1.fidonet.org (Rusty Ferguson) (10/03/90)
Index Number: 10813
Nadine, when I was in the hospital I found something very surprising and
very disturbing. I would guess that at least 20% of the people on the
phsy. units were lupians. Most of these are not diagnosed. I asked a
couple of them, cause the rash was so blatant on their face. One did have
diagnosed lupus, the others did not. One man has been depressed since the
age of 16 and he is now 31. He has no idea of why he is depressed. He has
even had shock therapy. I didn't think his redness was bright enough to
even say for sure (to myself) that it was there, but then Patricia saw him
and commented to me about it. One girl kept saying she just had to kick
herself in the tail, that she had a good man, a nice home, friends, etc yet
she is suicidal. Her rash was the worst I had ever seen, the other lupian
agreed with me. I asked her if she had lupus and her response was, "please
don't tell me I have something else on top of the other 45 things I have."
This girl has been in the hospital all summer. But to make it worse, I
found that most, but not all, of the mental
health workers were not aware of the mental ramifications of lupus. At one
point, I asked if I were a manic depressive and they responded that they
didn't think so, that I just suffered from wild mood swings. Yet the same
person knew nothing of lupus. The psychologist told me he didn't remember
much about lupus so here I am telling him about it, at least he allowed me
to do that. The nurse that was managing my case was very good and she knew
all about it as did my social worker. Both felt sure that lupus was
contributing to my condition in a physical way. The first time I met with
the shrink, he didn't think the lupus had anything to do with it either.
Today, Patricia tactfully got some lupus material into his hands and all of
a sudden he said "the lupus could very well be causing some of this, it
probably is." It scares me that the lady in the room next to me had
such an obvious rash, with sudden joint pain yet she knew nothing about
lupus. They were doing X-rays though so maybe they were own to her
problem. Then again, they gave her lithium the day I was discharged. Oh
well, I worry to much but I find it distressing.
On the other hand, I'm a knew person, it feels as if some cloud has been
lifted off of me. Looking back I can see that I was out of control for at
least a month. I'll be going back to work in a couple more weeks. You know
what is odd? I've never been in this much pain, yet feel so darn good at
the same time! Just hope I can hold onto this new and improved perspective
of my world. Later......
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