mlinda@ca.novell.com (M'Linda Taylor) (10/10/90)
Index Number: 11036
Please forgive me if this turns out to be inappropriate to this
news group. I'm having problems adjusting to my limitations. I'm
posting this in the hopes that some wise "net-reader" can assist
with a non-biased opinion or three. %>
I have been having chronic back pain for the last 6 years and it
keeps getting worse with time (suprise, suprise!). My current
employer has me listed as handicapped due to consistantly poor
attendence. I'm having problems with that term because while I am
in varied degrees of pain 80% of the time, I still regain full
mobility. I.E. I can walk even when I'm at my worst, it just
causes extreme pain. In short, I don't feel that I "deserve" being
included in the handicapped "box". The reason that I say "deserve"
is due to the fact that for most of my life, people have kept
telling me that I'm just trying to get attention by being ill or in
pain. After 29 years one starts believing it.
My limitations include: inability to attend movies, shows,
dinners, etc. because before the activity is over (oh, say 1/2 way
through dinner) I am in severe pain even though I doubled my
Percocet (I know, Bad girl!). As I mentioned earlier, I *can*
always walk even if I'm at my worst but there are times when the
pain is too severe and (for exp.) when I go shopping, if I can't
park close, by the time I get to the mall I've "used" up my pain
tolerance. Sitting is painful (even with a back pillow and foot
rest) standing is painful, laying down is painful, doesn't leave
much, does it?
Anyway, the question is "Am I really handicapped, and do I deserve
the use of programs in place". Do I "deserve" to apply for a
handicap placard? (I'd only use it when I was in severe pain,
othertimes I don't need it so wouldn't use it.) I just feel that
there are so many people with so much more of a challenge dealing
with day to day life, that maybe I'm not "bad" enough to deserve
the extra "attention". Could some objective person out there try
and help me find perspective????
By the way, so far no medication has been able to relieve my pain
(muscle relaxents, anit-inflamitory's, pain pills, etc.)
Thank you for listening.
M'Linda
---
M'Linda Taylor Novell - Fortune Drive, San Jose, CA
Internet: mlinda@novell.COM
UUCP: {ames,sun,apple,amdahl}!novell!mlinda
---Douglas.Zachary@p0.f10.n137.z1.fidonet.org (Douglas Zachary) (10/18/90)
Index Number: 11186
Do you have a problem with excepting the lable of handicapped or as
most prefer a person with a disability? You asked if you are
handicapped. You are M'Linda and you happen to have disabling cronic
back pain. I am paralized but in no pain and would not like to trade
places with you. I feel that you qualify for handicap parking but
because your disability is not noticeable to strangers some people are
going to give you greif over parking in a handicap area.
There is an electronic implant available now that has electrodes
that are placed at the spinal colum that may offer relief and some
other new methods that I can look up for you in a couple of days. You
may contact the companies for info then consult a neurologist. Let me
know if you are interested. Don't let other uninformed people's
comments further diable you by making you berate yourself.
Zack
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!137!10.0!Douglas.Zachary
Internet: Douglas.Zachary@p0.f10.n137.z1.fidonet.orgStephen.White@p1.f853.n681.z3.fidonet.org (Stephen White) (10/18/90)
Index Number: 11191
MT> In short, I don't feel that I "deserve" being included in the
MT> handicapped "box".
Yes, you are handicapped. For the moment.
However, you have to realise that being categorised into the
"handicapped box" means absolutely nothing. It is just a simple
entry on a piece of paper, and does not change anything about you.
Some people are unable to make a loop with their tounges. They
would be considered handicapped in societies that make loops with
their tounges all the time.
Can you think of anyone that is perfectly normal? Can they do a
standing jump of at least 6 feet, run 5 miles without working up a
sweat, and other such things? TV, which molds the ideals of most
people, would have you believe that this is what the average
desirable person can do.
This is advertising bullshit.
Everyone has problems - yours is just more noticable because it
relates to physical aspects of everyday life, namely ease of
manouvering. Most peoples main handicaps are in their minds. They
have lost the ability to think. Stereotyping is a perfect way of
not thinking. If they can look at someone, see black skin, and
think "That dood is mean shit, man", they are not having to use
their brains.
I would suggest that you try and find a cure for your back problem.
What is causing it? Don't take garbage from the doctors - there is
something causing it and you should know what it is.
Poor posture? That is an incredibly common cause for back pain. Is
your back straight when you sit down? Do you catch yourself sitting
slumped? Are you getting enough calcium?
Find out what it is and do something about it! Americans have the
awful habit of taking more and more pills to cover up problems with
their bodies. That pill sure as hell won't do anything for you - it
can only temporarily cover up.
Have you ever done a spinal twist? This relines all your vertebrae
to its correct positions, and promotes flexibility. Yet it only
takes 30 seconds. Take up Yoga. I do Karate exercises - there are
no fundemental differences between Karate and Yoga exercises,
except Yoga is much more gentle.
There is more to exercise than just running and playing sports. The
key is flexibility - can you touch your toes? Can you lay your
hands flat on the floor besides your feet without bending your
legs? Can you put your legs behind your neck?
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!3!681!853.1!Stephen.White
Internet: Stephen.White@p1.f853.n681.z3.fidonet.orgpaa3188@dpscg1.uucp (Arthur Tehson) (10/19/90)
Index Number: 11192 Dear M'Linda: I think I might be able to help you with your quandry. I am a mild CP with almost "normal" functional ability with the exception of being unable to perform intricate tasks with my left side, like holding a cup. My left leg is weaker and a bit shorter than the other, although I have no difficulty walking. My employer classifies me as handicapped, even though I function above 90%. I have lived with one foot in the " disabled" world and one foot in the "normal" world, literally, all my life and sometimes I get to thinking, like you, Am I handicapped(?). I think the important thing is for us to emphasize our abiliities and strengths rather than our disabiliities. Think about using your meager pain free time to its fullest. take a positive attitude towards your life. I'm a Christian and I have found it helpful to think of Paul's words to the Phillipians (4:13) where he wrote "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." Even typing is a bit of a trial but it is at those times that I draw strength from my faith and my desire to help other people cope. Hope this helps somebody. ART
Ruthie.Hoffman@f223.n260.z1.fidonet.org (Ruthie Hoffman) (10/26/90)
Index Number: 11282 > In a message to All <10 Oct 90 18:04:00> M'Linda Taylor wrote: > MT> I have been having chronic back pain for the last 6 years and it > MT> keeps getting worse with time (suprise, suprise!). My current > MT> employer has me listed as handicapped due to consistantly poor > MT> attendence. I'm having problems with that term because while I am > MT> in varied degrees of pain 80% of the time, I still regain full > MT> mobility. I.E. I can walk even when I'm at my worst, it just > MT> causes extreme pain. In short, I don't feel that I "deserve" being > MT> included in the handicapped "box". The reason that I say "deserve" > MT> is due to the fact that for most of my life, people have kept > MT> telling me that I'm just trying to get attention by being ill or in > MT> pain. After 29 years one starts believing it. Hi... I won't quote all of M'Linda's message, but I have to tell you ...and her...that her note really hit home. I have been an observer to this echo for a little while, and the SPINAL_INJURY echo for a few months. I had a lower lumbar laminectomy almost a year ago now.(Actually, I am a bit confused about that term..I ws told that was what it was, but they did NOT remove all the disc or do a spinal fusion) Unless I do absolutely nothing for a week or so, I am in continual pain of some degree or another. I too feel that I am losing perspective on all this. I sometimes think it must all be in my head. My in-laws, for example (ok...they are really the MAIN ones) keep telling me how all their retired friends who have had this type of surgery were playing tennis and golf and jogging only a few months after their surgery. I have been swimming 3x a week since about a month and a half after the surgery, and I am damn proud of that! But...sigh..I too am very good at beating myself up about this. Well...enough of me...what I really wanted to say was that M'Linda's message, generally, could have been from me, and that YOUR response helped me ALOT. Thanks!!! Ruthie -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!260!223!Ruthie.Hoffman Internet: Ruthie.Hoffman@f223.n260.z1.fidonet.org
Rob.Flor@f21.n272.z1.fidonet.org (Rob Flor) (10/27/90)
Index Number: 11353
RH> Unless I do absolutely nothing for a week or so, I am in
RH> continual pain of some degree or another. I too feel that I am
RH> losing perspective on all this. I sometimes think it must all
RH> be in my head. My in-laws, for example (ok...they are really
RH> the MAIN ones) keep telling me how all their retired friends
RH> who have had this type of surgery were playing tennis and golf
RH> and jogging only a few months after their surgery. I have been
RH> swimming 3x a week since about a month and a half after the
RH> surgery, and I am damn proud of that! But...sigh..I too am
RH> very good at beating myself up about this. Well...enough of
RH> me...what I really wanted to say was that M'Linda's message,
RH> generally, could have been from me, and that YOUR response
RH> helped me ALOT. Thanks!!!
RH> Ruthie
It's a good sign, Ruthie, that if you do absolutely nothing for
a week, the pain isn't continuous. It may mean you have habits
that continue to stress the injured area, especially if you are
beating yourself up for being in pain.
As a weldor I injured my back in several places, and as the
years passed when I did things I'd always done, like carry two
bags of groceries, I'd hardly be able to walk.
I would think "If I had a child, I wouldn't be able to carry it".
It made me so angry. It was years before I let it in that I
really had permenant damage. I felt so sad. I think it was the
sadness I didn't want to face. I did start telling myself "don't
do that" "make two trips", "put your foot up on the tub when you
brush your teeth". I couldn't make accomodations before that.
M'Linda, you've probably touched a chord common to very many of
us.
Now my sister has twins, a year old! Those kids walk a lot! (GRIN)
-Rob
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!272!21!Rob.Flor
Internet: Rob.Flor@f21.n272.z1.fidonet.orgNadine.Thomas@p59.f1.n360.z1.fidonet.org (Nadine Thomas) (10/27/90)
Index Number: 11354
In a message to Nadine Thomas <19 Oct 90 6:51:00> Ruthie Hoffman wrote:
RH> I won't quote all of M'Linda's message, but I have to tell you
RH> ...and her...that her note really hit home. I have been an observer
RH> to this echo for a little while, and the SPINAL_INJURY echo for a few
RH> months. I had a lower lumbar laminectomy almost a year ago
RH> now.(Actually, I am a bit confused about that term..I ws told that was
RH> what it was, but they did NOT remove all the disc or do a spinal
RH> fusion)
Well, I have had 2 lam. and fusions - my understanding is that they
are seperate procedures (but I could be wrong). Lam. as explained
to me was a partial or complete removal of the disc.
RH> Unless I do absolutely nothing for a week or so, I am in continual
RH> pain of some degree or another. I too feel that I am losing
RH> perspective on all this. I sometimes think it must all be in my head.
NO! It is NOT in your head. I went through what you are going
through - I would have to stay in bed for a couple of weeks, feel
good, then do a minor something and I would be back to zero again.
I finally had a specialist from the Hospital For Special Surgery
check me out and I had to have the surgery done again - this time
the procedure worked. This doc was not just an orthopedist - he
was a spine specialist, head of the department, teacher, and the
best in New York. I would recommend that hospital - I was VERY
impressed with their procedures and techniques (and that was back
in 1969). It may not hurt to get another opinion if you feel that
your living standard has been significantly reduced since the
surgery (or not any better). BUT IT IS NOT IN YOUR HEAD.
RH> My in-laws, for example (ok...they are really the MAIN ones) keep
RH> telling me how all their retired friends who have had this type of
RH> surgery were playing tennis and golf and jogging only a few months
RH> after their surgery. I have been swimming 3x a week since about a
RH> month and a half after the surgery, and I am damn proud of that!
So???? That is them and you are you.
You have a lot to be proud of - you are not sitting around - you are
doing something to help yourself with excercise.
RH> But...sigh..I too am very good at beating myself up about this.
Gee, I didn't notice (grin).
RH> Well...enough of me...what I really wanted to say was that M'Linda's
RH> message, generally, could have been from me, and that YOUR response
RH> helped me ALOT. Thanks!!!
Your welcome.
Glad you are here.
Nadine
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!360!1.59!Nadine.Thomas
Internet: Nadine.Thomas@p59.f1.n360.z1.fidonet.orgRuthie.Hoffman@f223.n260.z1.fidonet.org (Ruthie Hoffman) (10/30/90)
Index Number: 11368 > As a weldor I injured my back in several places, and as the > years passed when I did things I'd always done, like carry two > bags of groceries, I'd hardly be able to walk. Ah yes... the "grocery shopping syndrome" :) I know it well. I have FINALLY given up on the idea of trying to pretend that I can carry it all! I have delegated the job to the hubby of buying and carrying the heavy things, such as the large bag of cat litter and the water jugs (we buy our drinking water, as we live in a very rural area and we don't particularily like our well water) > > I would think "If I had a child, I wouldn't be able to carry > it". Thank goodness I don't, because I couldn't pick him/her up! > It made me so angry. It was years before I let it in that I > really had permenant damage. I felt so sad. I think it was the > sadness I didn't want to face. I did start telling myself After seeing the neurosurgeon on this past Monday (10/22) and hearing him say that the nerve damanage may never completely heal, plus hearing I may be developing some arthritis (gasp!) in that area, I have been feeling a bit ..... different ?? about it all. Not necessarily depressed completely...in fact in some way hearing it said to me by someone I trust and feel is knowledgeable, I may be beginning to accept the limitations I will have to impose on my lifestyle in order to minimize the constant pain. I will be going for another MRI next week, so that is still looming ahead tho. > Now my sister has twins, a year old! Those kids walk a lot! > (GRIN) :) Aren't neices and nephews grand!! I just love mine to pieces! Thanks for the reply, Rob, it sure helps to talk to folks who understand how I might be feeling way down inside. CU, Ruthie -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!260!223!Ruthie.Hoffman Internet: Ruthie.Hoffman@f223.n260.z1.fidonet.org