Glen.Nielson@f778.n115.z1.fidonet.org (Glen Nielson) (10/17/90)
Index Number: 11152
[This is from the Blink Talk Conference]
Howdy Willie,
Before getting to the main subject, let me say that I
appreciate your work in making this echo work.
It seems to me that blinks have a right to decline unneeded
assistance. My view is that if someone offers to help me and
I don't need the help, I have an obligation to politely decline
the offer. I must admit that sometimes when this is the 20th
offer I've had on a day, I don't do so good at meeting this
goal, but I do try. On the other hand, if people just can't
take no for an answer or if they're aggressive in offering
help, my view is that all I can do is whatever it takes to
get them to just leave me alone! I usually say something like
"Are ya deaf or on drugs?" I am also not terribly polite to
those who grab me.
My favorite way of dealing with people who offer me a seat
on a bus or train is to offer the seat to someone else. Many
times, people who really wanted a seat have accepted my
of1fer.
Glen
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!115!778!Glen.Nielson
Internet: Glen.Nielson@f778.n115.z1.fidonet.orgStu.Turk@f26.n129.z1.fidonet.org (Stu Turk) (10/17/90)
Index Number: 11154
[This is from the Blink Talk Conference]
Glen Nielson of 1:115/778 wrote to William Wilson:
GN> It seems to me that blinks have a right to decline unneeded
GN> assistance. My view is that if someone offers to help me and
GN> I don't need the help, I have an obligation to politely decline
GN> the offer. I must admit that sometimes when this is the 20th
GN> offer I've had on a day, I don't do so good at meeting this
GN> goal, but I do try. On the other hand, if people just can't
GN> take no for an answer or if they're aggressive in offering
GN> help, my view is that all I can do is whatever it takes to
GN> get them to just leave me alone! I usually say something like
GN> "Are ya deaf or on drugs?" I am also not terribly polite to
GN> those who grab me.
=
I have the same problem, coupled with the fact that I am deaf as
well as visually impaired (I can see but have very narrow angle of
vision and in one eye only) so I can't hear what the "helpers" are
telling me. I still can't get used to being grabbed unexpectedly
and more than once have told someone to F*** Off! If that doesn't
work, I've mentioned to Willie some time ago that the reason the
tip of the cane is red is so the blood doesn't show after you ram
it between their ears.
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Internet: Stu.Turk@f26.n129.z1.fidonet.orgMaggi.Weslager@f89.n129.z1.fidonet.org (Maggi Weslager) (10/17/90)
Index Number: 11167
[This is from the Blink Talk Conference]
GN> It seems to me that blinks have a right to decline unneeded
GN> assistance. My view is that if someone offers to help me and
GN> I don't need the help, I have an obligation to politely decline
GN> the offer. I must admit that sometimes when this is the 20th
GN> offer I've had on a day, I don't do so good at meeting this
GN> goal, but I do try.
Glen,
I know what you mean about being rude on the twentieth decline
of help in one day. It's very frustrating when the twentieth offer of
help comes my way and my tone of voice becomes louder and sharper but
the really frustrating thing about such an incident is the feedback that
I receive from people who say I shouldn't snap out at someone just
because they're trying to help. They say I'm giving blind people a bad
reputation and the next time a blind person is in need of help, no one
will help them all because of my reaction. I'm entitled to blow up at
someone just as much as a sighted person is. Are we supposed to be
polite, understanding and complacent all of the time? Geez, I'm getting
mad just thinking about it!
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!129!89!Maggi.Weslager
Internet: Maggi.Weslager@f89.n129.z1.fidonet.orgMaggi.Weslager@f89.n129.z1.fidonet.org (Maggi Weslager) (10/26/90)
Index Number: 11317
[This is from the Blink Talk Conference]
HK> Hold on Maggi, Read what you said,
No, you hold on Henry...
HK> As far as giving blind people a bad reputation, forget
HK> it, you are not that powerful, all you are doing is showing
HK> others what a jerk you can be.
Disagree with you on this one, Henry. I do not claim to be powerful. I
believe that when one of my acquaintances who only knows one blind
person, namely me, meets another blind person they generally start
comparing. Granted, I do feel like a jerk if I blow up at someone who
offers assistance.
HK> Think about why people are
HK> constantly asking you if you need help, I can't believe it is
HK> only because you are blind. Have you considered it may be the
HK> way you act?
You are making me sound like a floundering idiot who is ready to bite
the head off of anyone who comes near me. I really resent that, Henry.
I wasusing the "twentieth offer of assistance" quite figuratively. I
probably blow up at someone once a year!
HK> As far as having the right to blow up just like
HK> sighted people do, sighted people don't get rude and nasty when
HK> some one offers assistance, they usually thank the person for
HK> taking the time. Even sighted people are often offered help
HK> when they don't need it, they usually have enough common sense
HK> to say no thank you and leave it at that. No Maggi, you are
HK> not expected to be polite, understanding and complacent all of
HK> the time. You are expected to act in a humane and civil
HK> manner. Maggi, do you jump all over a person when they help
HK> you when you really need it? Or is that okay? and if it is
HK> okay, how in the world are people supposed to know when and if
HK> you need help? Wake up Magi, you live in a community, a place
HK> where people have to get along with each other, instead of
HK> getting mad,
By the tone of your last few messages, I note that you're doing more
jumping than I do in one year. Jumping to conclusions ! Don't get mad
at me, Henry...we all have to get along with each other.
HK> why not try using your sense of humor? You will
HK> get your point across without offending anybody.
Henry, if you only knew how ludicrous that statement is! My sense of
humor is my biggest asset, next to my smile, of course!<wink, wink>
Love and respect you, Hank...Maggi
HK> * Origin: DD Connection 2, Arlington TX (817/640-7880) (Opus
HK> 1:130/10)
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!129!89!Maggi.Weslager
Internet: Maggi.Weslager@f89.n129.z1.fidonet.orgTandy.Way@f6.n377.z1.fidonet.org (Tandy Way) (10/26/90)
Index Number: 11342
[This is from the Blink Talk Conference]
have you ever noticed that when you are waiting at a traffic light
some wink thinks it is absolutely imparative that they take you
accross the street or at least tell you when the light is green so
you can cross. what the hell goes through these peoples minds do they
think we just stand on corners waiting for a wink to tell us when to
cross has it occured to them we might have a method of crossing
without their verbal assistance? I have had hobos downtown drunks and
alike try to get me to cross against the light but I shake my head or
something and just ignore them and cross when I feel it is safe.
... Freedom is something we take for granted.
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!377!6!Tandy.Way
Internet: Tandy.Way@f6.n377.z1.fidonet.orgDavid.Andrews@f89.n129.z1.fidonet.org (David Andrews) (10/31/90)
Index Number: 11404
[This is from the Blink Talk Conference]
HK> Are we
HK> supposed to be polite, understanding and complacent all of the
HK> time?" As far as giving blind people a bad reputation, forget
HK> it, you are not that powerful, all you are doing is showing
HK> others what a jerk you can be. Think about why people are
HK> constantly asking you if you need help, I can't believe it is
HK> only because you are blind. Have you considered it may be the
HK> way you act? As far as having the right to blow up just like
HK> sighted people do, sighted people don't get rude and nasty when
HK> some one offers assistance, they usually thank the person for
HK> taking the time. Even sighted people are often offered help
HK> when they don't need it, they usually have enough common sense
HK> to say no thank you and leave it at that. No Maggi, you are
HK> not expected to be polite, understanding and complacent all of
HK> the time. You are expected to act in a humane and civil
HK> manner. Maggi, do you jump all over a person when they help
HK> you when you really need it? Or is that okay? and if it is
HK> okay, how in the world are people supposed to know when and if
HK> you need help? Wake up Magi, you live in a community, a place
HK> where people have to get along with each other, instead of
HK> getting mad, why not try using your sense of humor? You will
HK> get your point across without offending anybody.
Henry, I think you are being a little hard on Maggie. Yes, it is possible that
she and others of us may act in ways that encourage people to deluge us with
help. Willie Wilson once made such a suggestion to me when we were discussing a
similar matter. In my case, I know it isn'T TRUE AS I am an extremely fast
walker. To give you an example, I was once walking down a street in Chicago,
full speed, which for me is as fast as any dog user I have walked with. A
person proceeded to chase me down the block yelling, "you are going the wrong
way." I did not know that person and he obviously could not have known where I
was going and if I was getting there corectly. He of course in his own mind
knew that no blind person could know where he/she was, and how to get anywhere,
so I had to be going the wrong way. Many sighted people have a very poor idea
of what blind people can do, hence the constant offers of help. They are of
course well intentioned but often uninformed. Your point about sighted people
politely refusing help does not hold true. Yes, some of them act that way, but
being human too, I am sure some of them have some bad moments. Further, it is
unlikely that they receive the volume of offers we do.
David Andrews
... Your Sound Alternative
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Internet: David.Andrews@f89.n129.z1.fidonet.org