Tom.Lipovits@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org (Tom Lipovits) (10/30/90)
Index Number: 11366 I had a head injury nov. '89 which was caused, unfortunately by the husband of a girl my girlfriend used to know about 10 years ago. Specifically I wqas shot in he head, so this huy couldsteal mycar. The bad part is my parents are blaming my girlfriend because she used toknow this girl. Now they are tryingto separate us because of this and I can't handle losing her. We were planning ongetting married his fall, but twe'dwait if I needed to. Now my patrents wanteverything called off, anddemanded sheeven give the ring back, to THEM.Now I face losingthe woman I love for no good reason. It's unfortunate she was caught up in the messof things, but were are very much in love and now we have no way to fight back. Wewant to be together, but my parents have legal authority over me (I'm 27) and therefore I have nothing to fight back with. SometimesI feel likethrowing myself off the top ofthe stairs andending the nightmare so she can go on without me, but t myparentswould blame her for that, too. Itseemsi cant rebel at all without causingmore damage to our relationship, but how do you rebel then??I cannot be alittle boyanddo as mommy and daddy say andthrow the lady I love out hthe window. I have somuch to live for, but I'm notallowed to have anything that I have had before my injury. I don'tknow how long I can keep going without her, or how long shecan go without me, since no one will let us be together, ever.I just cant take it any more, I have to find a way out of this hell I live in. -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!157!3!Tom.Lipovits Internet: Tom.Lipovits@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org
kathyj@pase70.Convergent.Com (Kathy Johnson) (11/05/90)
Index Number: 11498 In article <15248@bunker.UUCP> Tom.Lipovits@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org writes: >Index Number: 11366 > >I had a head injury nov. '89 which was caused, unfortunately by the >husband of a girl my girlfriend used to know about 10 years ago. >Specifically I wqas shot in he head, so this huy couldsteal mycar. The >bad part is my parents are blaming my girlfriend because she used toknow >this girl. Now they are tryingto separate us because of this and I >can't handle losing her. We were planning ongetting married his fall, >but twe'dwait if I needed to. [. . .] [quotes deleted] >[. . .] I just cant take >it any more, I have to find a way out of this hell I live in. Please don't give up! I know that the problems seem overwhelming, but if you can hold on to hope and keep demonstrating to your parents that just because you have been injured doesn't mean you have become a child again they will come to realize that they are responding to the trauma of what happened and trying to protect you from life. Parents sometimes try to protect their children from the hurts of life and feel responsible when their children are hurt, even when the child is an adult. They are probably going through a lot of regrets and guilt that they weren't able to keep this from happening to you and are reacting with hostility to anyone (your fiance) who seems to represent the tragedy. Do you have other friends who visit you? If you can show your parents that you are still able to interact with others as an adult, and that although you are hurt adults must take care of themselves and their own decisions perhaps they will see how protecting you from life is really taking life away from you. Keep in touch with your fiance as much as you can. If you are unable to write directly to her, you can email a message to me and I will print it out and place it in an envelope for you and post it. You don't mention how extensive your disabilities are, but some areas where you might be able to demonstrate that you are still independent are selecting what you will wear, making choices for yourself when they come up (for instance choosing what to spend time doing, who to see or call, etc.) This does not mean that you must pretend that you are invincably strong. It is okay to show your parents that you feel a sense of hopelessness or helplessness when they take away the independent choices and activities that you are able to handle and expect to have as an adult. Good luck! I will be praying for you. (I hope you are not offended by prayer.) Kathy M. Johnson (One of the luckier polio survivors) ctnews!risky!pase70!kathyj -------------------------------------------------------------------- Kathy M. Johnson Unisys has, takes, or claims Unisys, San Jose absolutely no responsibility for this posting.
Stephen.White@p1.f853.n681.z3.fidonet.org (Stephen White) (11/06/90)
Index Number: 11550 TL> The bad part is my parents are blaming my girlfriend because she TL> used toknow this girl. With my customary tact and diplomacy, I'd probably tell them to go and get f***ed. However, if they have legal authority over you, you'll have to be a bit more tactful, I think... Point out that by their logic, they are to blame for any number of murders, because they probably know someone that knows someone that knows someone that has killed people. Point out that if it hadn't been for the unfortunate accident, they would not have legal authority over you. Ask them if they are unfairly utilising their continued power over you to twist you to their ideas. Point out that by international law, it is forbidden for a parent to coerce, punish, or force a child into line with the parents beliefs. Or you could go and see a lawyer and explain the situation. You can attempt to revoke your parents legal authority on grounds of misconduct. -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!3!681!853.1!Stephen.White Internet: Stephen.White@p1.f853.n681.z3.fidonet.org
Charlotte.Ferris@f5.n382.z1.fidonet.org (Charlotte Ferris) (11/19/90)
Index Number: 11848 Kathy: in reference to your post to the man with a head injury who was trying not to lose his girlfriend from his parents's interference: That is exactly the advice I would have given to him, only you expressed it with more tolerance for the parents than I could have. Good job! from another polio survivor, Charlotte -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!382!5!Charlotte.Ferris Internet: Charlotte.Ferris@f5.n382.z1.fidonet.org