Linda.Iverson@f10.n130.z1.fidonet.org (Linda Iverson) (11/20/90)
Index Number: 11897
[This is from the Silent Talk Conference]
Hi, Karen!
I guess your knowledge of the "blind world" is about like mine of the
"deaf world". I found this echo by accident and started reading it.
I've learned a lot about the deaf and HI, but I think mostly I've
learned about people. As Vixen said in a message, we all live in the
same world, after all.
I wouldn't wish any disability on anyone, but if we have one, I think
it's up to us to make the best of it and to realize there are things
we just can't do and to know how to ask for help when necessary, but
at the same time let the person of whom we are asking help we are in
charge of the situation. Should you ever have questions about the
"blind world", don't hesitate to ask me. However, what I tell you
might not be what someone else who is blind would say. We all handle
our disabilities our way. I feel I am an expert on my blindness, but
no one else's. My way may not work for someone else. I have a couple
of questions for you! Just curious. I would think in some ways there
is a lot of similarity between deafness and blindness--each is a sensory
loss, and I think the general public can't imagine how they could do
something if they couldn't see or hear. Like you said, you just develop
techniques and creativity. Anyway, have you ever had people you just
met ask you personal questions--things you'd never ask someone you'd
never seen before and might never see again? I've been on a bus or
train and people will ask me how long I've been "that way"--meaning
blind, of course. About four years ago my grandmother passed away.
I was living in Minnesota then and I was taking the bus to Florida
for the funeral. My son, who was about five then was with me. We
were changing buses in Chicago, and while waiting for the bus, I was
chatting with this lady and all of a sudden she said, "Now, ah, this
little boy? How is he connected to you?" As though the thought I
might be his mother never crossed her mind. About two years ago now
my husband walked out on my son and me and just came in one day and
said he was filing for divorce. He started living with a lady who
had five childrenby three dads. They had their baby five weeks after
we signed the divorce papers. Anyway, my husband is also blind, but
this gal is sighted. A "friend" said to me, "Well, it must be easier
for him now that he's with someone who can see!" I can't tell you
how angry and hurt I was. I've dated both blind and sighted buys and
met nice and jerky ones among both groups. I've tried to judge people
for who they are--not because of, or not because they don't have a
disability. Anyway, I've wondered if people take such personal liberties
with other disabilities. Also, you mentioned you were the eldest of
four children. Were you allowed to be the eldest in the sense of having
certain responsibilities and priviliges that go with being the firstborn?
I was an only child till fourteen, so I guess for all intense and
purposes I'm an only child, but I've had blind friends who were not
allowed to baby-sit the other kids, do chores, etc. So they grew up
to be 25 going on ten. I've never understood why parents think a sense
deprivation affects so many other things. Sometimes parents say all
the right things, but you wonder if they really expect much of their
disabled child. I was lucky in that my parents, though over-protective
in some ways, weren't nearly as much so as others I've seen. Then,
I guess some of us are strong-willed enough that we won't let our parents
protect us. I had a resource teacher in school who was legally blind,
and she expected everything from us. I learned how to do my math--I
mean work the answers out on a manual typewriter, and I'm grateful
for that! I know a blind high school kid who does all his homework
Lindacare!rfect!but I wish the average Joe on the street wouldn't think
[This message arrived truncated]
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!130!10!Linda.Iverson
Internet: Linda.Iverson@f10.n130.z1.fidonet.orgKaren.Keil@f809.n104.z1.fidonet.org (Karen Keil) (11/28/90)
Index Number: 12007
[This is from the Silent Talk Conference]
I don't know where to start in replying to your message.
You could say my parents were a little over-protective, but it seems
parents would tend to be with any child in a sense.
Even though I was the oldest, I did not have all the privileges and
responsibilities of the oldest. My middle sister and I shared the
oldest spot---she did things that I couldn't do like answering the
phone. For instance, in my early teens, my sister and I team-babysat
and split the earnings. This was to assure the parents that there was
at least one hearing person there to handle things I couldn't hear very
well (like the phone) or understanding a kid who didn't articulate very
well. Otherwise, we did the same things--sometimes it helped to have
another person there to keep track of several children!
Your experiences as a blind person are very informative and
interesting. You and I are alike in being able-bodied in every way but
have a sense that's not working normally.
I used to ride a bus with handicapped kids--kids with braces,
blind, mentally retarded and deaf. It was quite a combination.
Sometimes a few of the retarded kids would start fighting in the back
of the bus and the bus driver would have to stop the bus and walk to
the back with a wooden ruler to administer some discipline.
I know a little of the feeling of people not regarding you as a
whole person (re the incident of the woman asking about your son).
Sometimes people think I'm not very intelligent--but my brain is just
fine--the problem is getting the information past my ears to my mind!
It takes a lot of energy and effort for me to keep on top of things and
anything I don't read, have told to me directly etc. won't get to me.
Overhearing, an alternate source of picking up odd bits of information,
is just not available to me. What I'm trying to say is--everything I
know has to be direct--I cannot pick up information casually the way
most people do by overhearing.
I'm going to have to cut this short. I have to leave the phone
line free for calls for someone in my family.
So long for now!
Karen
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