esa@kvvax4.UUCP (Esa K Viitala) (04/03/84)
Re: Now the time has relly come to a world.politics.
Really? Where is Reagan's opener? Does he have a terminal?
(Can he use one? Wargames, perhaps? Encrypted mail?)
As for the real discussions in politics: it was Mr. Chernenko,
not any single member of the Sovjet people, who was allowed
on the net April the 1st. Exactly as one would expect, too.
Let us hear more from you Mr. Chernenko...
--
Esa K Viitala {decvax,philabs}!mcvax!kvport!kvvax4!esa
A/S Kongsberg Vaapenfabrikk, CTG4, P.O.Box 25, N-3601 Kongsberg
Norway
tel. 473-739644
tlx. 71491 vaapn nward@hao.UUCP (Mike Ward) (04/03/84)
[]
Is this for real? Can we have confirmation from someone who is
recognized as being in a position to know?
--
Michael Ward, NCAR/SCD
UUCP: {hplabs,nbires,brl-bmd,seismo,menlo70}!hao!ward
BELL: 303-497-1252
USPS: POB 3000, Boulder, CO 80307arnold@gatech.UUCP (Arnold Robbins) (04/03/84)
Hmmm.... I just wonder who 'kgbvax' is.... :-(
--
Arnold Robbins
CSNET: arnold@gatech ARPA: arnold.gatech@CSNet-relay
UUCP: ...!{akgua,allegra,rlgvax,sb1,ut-sally}!gatech!arnold
"Look Bruce! It's the Bat Signal!"dsg@mhuxi.UUCP (GREEN) (04/03/84)
[] The posting date was April 1, which is generally what we call "April Fool's Day". Sometimes good practical jokes are played on that day. I have a strong feeling that USSR on the net is an April Fool's joke. David S. Green Bell Labs ..floyd!mhuxi!dsg
esj@ihuxl.UUCP (Natty Dread ) (04/04/84)
C'mon, guys. Chernenko on April 1st; as in April Fools' Day; as in call "Percy Knell" because I don't have the expertise to answer a question of his. -- "Moe! Larry! Cheese! Moe! Larry! Cheese!" ihnp4!ihuxl!esj
jas@drutx.UUCP (04/04/84)
hao!ward asks:
Is this for real? Can we have confirmation from someone who is
recognized as being in a position to know?
It is indeed for real. I am in a position to know (supine).
Jim Shankland
..!ihnp4!druxy!jasken@ihuxq.UUCP (ken perlow) (04/04/84)
-- >> Is this for real? Can we have confirmation from someone who is >> recognized as being in a position to know? War of the Worlds, creationism... Now I understand. The person in the best "positon to know" is P. T. Barnum. His opinion is in the public domain. Kudos to the perpetrator! "moscvax", "kremvax" -- truly inspired! -- *** *** JE MAINTIENDRAI ***** ***** ****** ****** 04 Apr 84 [15 Germinal An CXCII] ken perlow ***** ***** (312)979-7261 ** ** ** ** ..ihnp4!ihuxq!ken *** ***
grt@hocda.UUCP (G.TOMASEVICH) (04/05/84)
The path we got is
hocda!houxm!mhuxl!eagle!harpo!decvax!mcvax!moskvax!kremvax!chernenko
If everyone compares paths, we can figure out what machine the perpetrator
used. Who is paying the transatlantic phone bills?
na zdravlja i zivjeli,
George Tomasevich, AT&T Bell Laboratoriesmagi@deepthot.UUCP (David Wiseman) (04/06/84)
The path we got was deepthot!watmath!utzoo!linus!philabs!mcvax!moskvax!kremvax Hmmm... Comparing that with >The path we got is > hocda!houxm!mhuxl!eagle!harpo!decvax!mcvax!moskvax!kremvax!chernenko >If everyone compares paths, we can figure out what machine the perpetrator >used. Who is paying the transatlantic phone bills? > na zdravlja i zivjeli, > George Tomasevich, AT&T Bell Laboratories Seems to imply that mcvax itself is the culprit. -- ...!utzoo!uwo!deepthot!watmath!... ! ! magi magi (David Wiseman @ UWO Comp Sci, London Canada)
dman@homxa.UUCP (#D.ANDERSON) (04/09/84)
I felt very gullible. It really had me going. But, I stopped to think, why not? USENET is getting to be a Worldnet; I just wonder if any of today's trade/sales restrictions withhold UNIX from the USSR. I'd say that they do, but does anyone really know? And if not, would anyone be willing to serve as a Soviet gateway site ... ? Just Curious -- Dave Anderson [ Flames to net.politics ]
bbanerje@sjuvax.UUCP (B. Banerjee) (04/09/84)
From fluke!inc : >> I want to voice my support of those who feel that the "April Fool's" >> joke about the USSR on the USENET was bad form. Particularly when it >> appeared in what many of us had come to rely on as the authoritative >> source for nuews about the network. >> Come now! It appeared in net.general. Hardly authoritative! >> Perhaps the perpetrator should be asked to pay all those long-distance >> phone bills that resulted when many people (apparently) responded to >> this article seriously and with a sense of the beginning of the start >> of a great adventure in international communication. >> The perpetrator(s) seem to be the people in charge of the uucp (and usenet?) at either decvax or mcvax. As these are the sites that usually pay the transatlantic phone bills anyhow; and since they aren't complaining... why should you. NOTE. I have no concrete evidence for these assumptions. Someone with write permission for the decvax and /or mcvax spool directories must have been responsible. It stands to reason that this was the news/uucp administrator. >> Perhaps that individual should also be informed that April Fool's Day >> is not the widespread celebration (?) that we in the US, in our >> culturo-centric way, may sometimes think it is. It is my understanding that April Fool's Day is more widespread if anything in Europe (especially the Netherlands) than in the USA. Congratulations to whoever responsible. It was a great joke. BTW, to fluke!inc - Why was your followup in net.general? Regards, -- Binayak Banerjee {allegra | astrovax | bpa | burdvax}!sjuvax!bbanerje
jbf@ccieng5.UUCP (Jens Bernhard Fiederer) (04/09/84)
Actually, April Fools Day is not as limited as you might think it is.... It is celebrated in Europe as well as in America. I don't know whether Africans and Asians celebrate it. Till Eulenspiegel -- Reachable as ....allegra![rayssd,rlgvax]!ccieng5!jbf
stekas@hou2g.UUCP (J.STEKAS) (04/09/84)
The April Fool's day posting from kremvax was the most refreshing
thing I've seen on usenet. To those who ask - "How would you feel
if it came from ciavax or fbivax?" - I wish I had been imaginative
enough to have posted a reply from ciavax!
Jimspuhler@hplabs.UUCP (Tom Spuhler) (04/09/84)
I suppose that it would be unlikely that the USSR would, in a day and
age when the US is busily trying to suppress VAX exports to the USSR,
have, or admite to having, two linked to the net....
--
Tom Spuhler
UUCP: hplabs!spuhler
CSNET: spuhler@hp-labs
HPMAIL: tom spuhler/hp1900/01ron@brl-vgr.ARPA (Ron Natalie <ron>) (04/09/84)
C'mon guys. Do you expect that a letter from Ronald Reagan on the USENET would be legitimate? Than why did you expect such from the U.S.S.R? =Ron
jho@ihuxn.UUCP (Yosi Hoshen) (04/09/84)
I have seen many comments on the April Fools Day hoax: USSR on Usenet. It seem to me that the following April 1 story has been missed by the net users. I am reposting the Woolly Mammoth Article which appeared on net.bio. I find this story not less amusing then the USSR hoax. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: net.bio Subject: Retrobreeding: mammoth+elephant Message-ID: <775@seismo.UUCP> Date: Sun, 1-Apr-84 06:29:06 CST Article-I.D.: seismo.775 Posted: Sun Apr 1 06:29:06 1984 Date-Received: Mon, 2-Apr-84 19:23:40 CST Organization: Center for Seismic Studies, Arlington, VA Lines: 104 --- The following article is reproduced from the April 1984 issue of the MIT "Technology Review," page 85. Retrobreeding the Woolly Mammoth Last year in the Soviet Union, Dr. Sverbighooze Nikhiphorovitch Yasmilov, head of veterinary research at the University of Irkutsk, got hold of some cells - including some ova, or egg cells - from a young woolly mammoth found frozen in Siberia. Although the cytoplasm - the material forming the bulk of the cell - was unhealth, Yasmilov was able to extract the nuclei. He implanted these into viable cytoplasm from elsewhere in the mammoth. Yasmilov continued his investigations by sending some cells to Dr. James Creak of MIT for testing. Creak heated the DNA from the mammoth ova until it dissolved into short lengths of code. After a number of false starts, he tried mixing it with a similarly prepared solution of the DNA of elephant sperm. The sections of elephant and mammoth code that matched "zipped themselves together," according to Creak, "as DNA is wont to do." This "paired DNA," representing the code common to elephants and woolly mammoths, was centrifuged off, leaving a residue of code that differed between the two species. The difference was less than 4.3%. This started Creak thinking. The elephant has 56 chromosomes, and the mammoth has 58. "Now look at the donkey and the horse," Creak explained. "The donkey has 62 chromosomes and the horse has 64, yet horses and donkeys can mate to produce mules and hinnies. So is it unreasonable to suggest an elephant-mammoth hybrid?" Creak communicated the good news at once to Yasmilov, who promptly set to work trying to fuse the nuclei from the mammoth ova, in their new cytoplasm, with sperm from an Asian elephant bull. As Creak points out, this delicate work requires highly skilled technicians. "In this profession," he observed, "people who can work with DNA and have it come out whole are traded like major-league baseball players, and they are even more valuable because the stakes are higher." Creak expressed concern about the state of experimental science in general. "Some scientists like to proceed in small, carefully thought-out steps. They are like accountants, and might as well be," he complained. "I see science as high adventure, with enormous risks. Of course, the rewards are commensurately high if the gamble comes off." Yasmilov attempted to artificially inseminate the mammoth ova with elephant sperm over 60 times before achieving fusion in eight samples. The resulting cell clusters were implanted in the wombs of Indian elephant cows. The timing of implantation is tricky, as the elephant cow must be in heat and proceed directly to the pregnant state after the embryo is implanted. Most of the elephant cows spontaneously miscarried, but two of the surrogate mothers carried to term, giving birth to the first known elephant-mammoth hybrids. Scientists have classified the calves as woolly mammoths according to two criteria. First, the yellow-brown hair that covered the newborn did not fall out after birth, as it does in "modern" elephants. Second, the calves' jaw structure closely resembles that of mammoths. Finding a scientific name for the young mammoth-elephant hybrid has been difficult. Professor Herman Hoffman of MIT's Linguistics Department suggests the word "mammontelephas" (it's singular), which he coined from the Russian "mammonth," or mammoth, and the Greek "elephas," or elephant. "It has - dare I say it? - almost a Byzantine ring," said Hoffman. Creak proposed the biological name "Elephas Pseudotherias," which would make the animals members of the Theria class of mammals. He added that the young mammontelephases belong to the order Proboscidea, having a long proboscis, or snout. It is not known whether the Russian scientists have classified the animals. Unfortunately for those who had hoped to breed the two mammals, both are male. They are probably sterile anyway, Creak points out. Mules are almost invariably sterile because they end up with an odd number of chromosomes - 31 (from the donkey parent) plus 32 (from the horse parent), making a total of 63. The 63 chromosomes in the mule's body cells divide randomly into 31 or 32 in the gametes, or germ cells. When two mules mate, the pairs of germ cells are so unevenly matched that the chromosomes simply cannot pair up. In fact, the Roman expression for "once in a blue moon" was "cum mula peperit" - "when the mule foals." Although they will not reach adult size for another 25 years, the new mammoth calves have already exhibited extraordinary toughness by surviving the bitter cold of Irkutsk. They are being kept in an outdoor enclosure, and their reaction to the local weather conditions is being carefully monitored. Mindful of the elephants used by Hannibal and Alexander the Great in cold climes, Yasmilov plans to train the mammontelephases to earn their keep when they reach adulthood. They could help pull immobilized convoy trucks out of the snowdrifts on the Trans-Siberian highway. This is now a troublesome task, as the machinery employed to do the job may freeze in the bitter cold. The mammontelephases could also be used for logging, and there may even be a job on the Trans-Siberian pipeline. --- Diana ben-Aaron April 1, 1984 -- Yosi Hoshen Bell Laboratories Naperville, Illinois (312)-979-7321 Mail: ihnp4!ihuxn!jho
burt@axiom.UUCP (Burt Janz) (04/10/84)
I am very surprised that there are actually people out there who are upset at the April Fools letter from Chernenko. I thought it was rather cute. Also, being slightly analytical, I found it curious to BEGIN with that Chernenko would have access to any of our networks, since a lot of them go through some really strange (!) routing. I also looked IMMEDIATELY at the originator routing and the date. Both were nonsensical. Actually, it might be in everyone's best interests to open up relations with Soviet-bloc countries, and this might be the best way to start. Most of the scientists on either side believe in the same laws of nature, and reach the same conclusions on most studies (the recent studies on nuclear war aftermath, for instance). To summarize, you have to expect strangness on April 1st. It's traditional, fun, and sometimes very surprising. I have a hardcopy of the letter pinned to my wall over my desk. I hope that there will soon be a message of similar welcome from over there (without the political rhetoric, of course). Burt Janz @ Axiom Technology, Newton MA
robert@erix.UUCP (Robert Virding) (04/10/84)
Ye gods! Compared to the vast amount of junk that gets sent around the net anyway this message was brilliant. If people can't admit that they have fallen for a joke then they can keep quiet. Especially if the joke was as well executed as this one. Robert Virding @ L M Ericsson, Stockholm
kunda@uicsg.UUCP (04/11/84)
#R:kremvax:-100:uicsg:6000003:000:1 uicsg!kunda Apr 3 15:51:00 1984
rsc@entropy.UUCP (Rajiva Chakravarti) (04/12/84)
That was a nice April Fool's joke! How did you do it?
aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent) (04/12/84)
From Phil Ngai: > Gee, I thought that every time Russia tried to buy a VAX, customs came > along and filled the boxes with concrete. Considering the response time of VAXen under any sort of load, I would say that the boxes are filled with concrete not by customs, but by DEC.... -- -- Jeff Sargent {allegra|ihnp4|decvax|harpo|seismo|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq One man's data are another man's garbage.
ron@brl-vgr.ARPA (Ron Natalie <ron>) (04/12/84)
Selling them a VAX is likely to set them back ten years. -Ron
jdb@qubix.UUCP (Jeff Bulf) (04/13/84)
> From: ron@brl-vgr.ARPA (Ron Natalie <ron>) > > Selling them a VAX is likely to set them back ten years. > > -Ron Can you imagine how long THEY have to wait for DEC service? :-) -- Dr Memory ...{decvax,ucbvax,ihnp4}!decwrl!qubix!jdb
richl@daemon.UUCP (Rick Lindsley) (04/14/84)
Don't bother searching for the Mad Muscovite.
If I had the capability to make a path that included moskvax and kremvax,
would I include MY site name also?
I hope we NEVER find out who did it. Somebody will probably want to
sack him/her for "poor taste", when it was actually quite clever.
Rick Lindsley
..{ihpn4,allegra,decvax}!tektronix!richlbarmar@mit-eddie.UUCP (Barry Margolin) (04/15/84)
-------------------- Selling them a VAX is likely to set them back ten years. -Ron -------------------- I've heard that they are about that far behind us in computer technology. I've heard stories of them taking apart 8080's and Z80's and copying them by examining the masks. The copies are much bigger and slower. -- Barry Margolin ARPA: barmar@MIT-Multics UUCP: ..!genrad!mit-eddie!barmar
mwm@ea.UUCP (04/17/84)
#R:axiom:-55900:ea:3400010:000:285
ea!mwm Apr 16 21:44:00 1984
Help! The note from kgbvax et. al. didn't make it this far. Could someone
who saved a copy please mail it to me? [No flames about how it wasn't funny.
I'd like a chance to judge for myself!]
Thanx in advance (and afterwards...)
<mike {ucbvax,ihnp4!dual}!unisoft!mtxinu!ea!mwm
jmd@inmet.UUCP (04/19/84)
#R:axiom:-55900:inmet:4000060:000:141 inmet!jmd Apr 18 13:44:00 1984 Better yet... send them an IBM 4341 with MVS. We'll NEVER have to worry about the Russians then! Jeff Diewald ...harpo!inmet!jmd