[misc.handicap] Your Girlfriend

James.Womack@f14.n300.z1.fidonet.org (James Womack) (03/15/91)

Index Number: 13982

[This is from the Silent Talk Conference]

>My girlfriend has been hearing impared since birth. She is now 39 years old.
>As a child she learned to read lips but was not permitted to use sign
>language. She has just recently begun to learn sign, but is currently far from
>fluent.

I hope she does not become overly frustrated while learning sign language. At
this age, the mind is less receptive to learning languages. With sign language,
you are asking the brain to transform from interpreting a sonic verbal medium
to a motion and hand shape verbal medium. This transition is not easy for many.
I hope she proves to have it easier than most. I'd advise that she learn ASL as
it is the language used by the majority of deaf people.

She is currently very angry and depressed about her handicap and is feeling
very inferior due to her general lack of knowlege as compared to hearing
people around her.
She also has raised 3 young children who are not impared in any way. This has
not been an easy task, but I feel she has done a vvery good job so far.

You tell her that.

She has tried to find some others with similar problems to talk to on an
emotional level but has had little luck.
Due to her inability to sign she has not been able to participate with hearing
impared groups and also has trouble "keeping" up with "hearing" groups.

How much residual hearing does she have? If she has marginal hearing, joining a
SHHH group might be better. Anne Stalkner could fill you in on that or Wayne
Roorda. This group of hard of hearing and oral (speech orientated) deaf people
would be best for her as a support group. If she is totally deaf and has meager
speech and lipreading skills, deaf people whose primary communication is
sign language may prove best.

I love her very much but I am at a loss as to what to tell her. I am looking
for any reccommendations, - groups, individuals, or ideas. We live in the NW
Phoenix area..
I look forward to any comments.
Thanks!
                        Chris Snyder

If you love her so much tell her that. Reassure her by telling her that often.
You say she is learning sign language? Learn along with her. Encourage her to
do volunteer or aid work in the Phx Day School for the Deaf with elementary or
Jr. High aged deaf kids. This would allow her to develop and practice her
signing skills in a less intimidating environment.

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