mgflax@phoenix.princeton.edu (Marshall G. Flax) (04/20/91)
Index Number: 15043 <Note: I am not handicapped, but would like to become less clueless> I've been reading misc.handicap for a few weeks now, and would like to propose a project that this group, as a whole, could attempt: a list of "do's" and "don't"'s with handicapped persons. Simple things, like "offering is polite but insisting is rude" or "when my dog is in harness, pay no attention to him" or "please don't speak while eating if I am lip-reading". I'd be quite willing to receive people's suggestions and compile it into a short (1-2 page) digest. I'm not expecting consistency; in fact I am expecting the range of responses to be, itself, a powerful educational tool. Neither do I indend to offend anyone -- I think that a useful technique to prevent offense is to mix the do's and don'ts together without respect to handicap rather than having an "orthopedically handicapped" section that would be seen as representing one class and a "visually impaired" section representing another. Mixing the responses would emphasize the variety among and between the readers of misc.handicap. In resturants they have, on the walls, simple instructions for choking patrons. In libraries they have charts explaining the Dewey Decimal system. In telephone booths they have simple instructions for using the phone. I would like a simple two-sided piece of paper containing lots of useful information that I could give to people I know, have read on public-service announcements on the radio, and included in school curricula. Simple guidelines about dealing with fellow citizens that we should already know, but, unfortunately, often do not. But I am not the one to write any of it. You are. So please send me short lists (5-10 do's or don'ts). I'll collect them for about a week and post a digest, which, I am sure, will prompt the suggestion and modification of even more do's and don't's. And we'll keep on going around that circle until either: a) We come up with a short list with which everyone is happy, in which case I'll use all my computer knowledge to disseminate as widely as possible, or b) We don't, in which case I'll go onto other, more frivilous, projects. And please, don't worry about speaking for any group or class of people. Just say what you'd like people to know when interacting with *you*. Don't even identify your handicap(s) if you don't feel like it. If everyone speaks for themself, then no one would have to worry about speaking for others. [And I promise that I'll keep going through the review cycle until everyone has had a chance to speak for themself.] I hope that this works, but in any case it is not up to me. Have fun. marshall /****************************************************************************/ /* Marshall Gene Flax '89 (609)258-6739 mgflax@phoenix.Princeton.EDU */ /* c/o Jack Gelfand|Psychology Dept|Princeton University|Princeton NJ 08544 */ /****************************************************************************/
Robert.Bowes5th@p0.f4.n382.z1.fidonet.org (Robert Bowes5th) (04/26/91)
Index Number: 15247
Marshall,
I agree with you as I have epilepsy & when I tell people that
I have epilepsy they mostly say things like "Well, you don't look like
you have it" or some other rude (that's what I consider it) remark.
Also, I showed someone at my church the medication I was taking &
they looked at me & said "Ooh, I don't think I could take that much
medicine" and I felt like saying "Oh yeah, if your life depended on it
I think you could if you didn't want to fall down from having a seizure"
so those are some of what I can say since I have epilepsy & I have more
but it's early in the morning & I'm still tired I'll give you more
later. Take care.
Regards,
Robert
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!382!4.0!Robert.Bowes5th
Internet: Robert.Bowes5th@p0.f4.n382.z1.fidonet.orgStu.Turk@f26.n129.z1.fidonet.org (Stu Turk) (04/26/91)
Index Number: 15250
MG> From: mgflax@phoenix.princeton.edu (Marshall G. Flax)
MG> Organization: Princeton University
MG> like to propose a project that this group, as a whole, could
MG> attempt: a
MG> list of "do's" and "don't"'s with handicapped persons. Simple
MG> things,
MG> like "offering is polite but insisting is rude" or "when my dog
MG> is in
MG> harness, pay no attention to him" or "please don't speak while
MG> eating if
MG> I am lip-reading".
MG> I'd be quite willing to receive people's suggestions and
MG> compile
MG> it into a short (1-2 page) digest. I'm not expecting
I suspect its going to be a much larger file once we get rolling on this.
Suggest you make it available as a plain ASCII text file and get it to Bill
McGarry, moderator of the Handicapped.news. That way those of us on the
FidoNet side of this conference can request it.
I'd like to point out though that some things people do to help one
type/class of handicapped persons may create some problems for others. For
example, many people hold a door open for those in wheelchairs or using
crutches and for some reason assume they should hold the door for blind people
also. I am deaf and partly blind with a narrow field of vision. When a door
is unexpectedly held open, I assume someone is coming out and get out of the
way and also try to locate the edge of the door. I'm sure some people are
telling me they are holding the door for me but since I can't hear them, all I
can do is back off and wait for them to go away so I can get the door handle in
my filed of vision. I suspect other blind people have trouble with this also
because a door may be a "landmark" telling the person where s/he is. Walking
through a open door without realizing its open means depending on secondary
landmarks to get your bearings. Another serious problem is people who grab a
blind person crossing the street. People who need help will ask for it. Those
that don't ask generally don't need/want help. I can see the traffic light
(once I locate it) but can't see cars turning in front of me. I generally wait
for the green light then check for turning cars, then turn back and find an
"aim point" across the street. By this time someone grab my arm, throwing me
off my aim point and I have to shake them off (and so far this year I've
managed to keep my New Years resolution to not stickk my white cane in anyones
ear when they try to help me...) I guess the Do/Don't would be: If you're
not asked for help, don't assume its needed.
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!129!26!Stu.Turk
Internet: Stu.Turk@f26.n129.z1.fidonet.orgLois.Briggs@f89.n129.z1.fidonet.org (Lois Briggs) (04/26/91)
Index Number: 15253
Hello to you and this sounds like a good idea to me.
MG> a list of "do's" and "don't"'s with
MG> handicapped persons. Simple things, like "offering is polite
MG> but insisting is rude" or "when my dog is in harness, pay no
MG> attention to him" or "please don't speak while eating if I am
MG> lip-reading".
Those all sound good to me. I am blind and my off the top of my head
list would be:
1. Please identify yourself when you approach me and wish to speak to
me. I get tired of the guessing game, "do you know who I am, oh, sure
you do." Also I tend to think everyone is speaking to me if they are
within ten feet and answer every question with, "are you speaking to
me?" This drives my kids bonkers.
2. If we are standing together talking or shopping together and you are
next to me one minute, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE tell me you are now going
to walk away as I really get distressed when I animatedly continue an
interrupted conversation only to find out I'm talking to no one, but
everyone in the vacinity is aware I'm talking to the air.
3. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't say "here" and hold some item out in
the air in front of me. Please say, I'd like to hand you this "flower",
"bag" or "frog" (forget the frog) but imagine my surprise when trusting
you I reach out only to have a "frog" placed in my unsuspecting hands
(that is after I finally locate it as I grope for the unidentified
article.
4. Please allow me to speak for myself. Do not ask a companion "what
does she want to drink or eat."
5. If you come to visit me in my territory (my home, dorm room or
whatever) please don't just move something from one place to another
unless you either ask if you could perhaps move an article out of your
way and then ask where would be a good place to put it or simply say
"there's a red sweater on this chair, would you like to put it where
you'll know where it is?" I've spent sometimes weeks looking for an
article only to finally find it on top of the refrigerator, mantle and
even underneath the sofa. Once a friend stopped in, we had coffee and
cake and just took milk out of a half gallon carton instead of a
pitchur. Then my friend was looking something up in a newspaper and
wanted to spread it out on the table. He put the milk carton "on top"
of the refrigerator. Now, one might ask, why wouldn't he just put it
"inside" the refrigerator, but I've found the logical mind of "man"
works differently than the logical mind of "woman." At any rate it was
all the milk I had. I searched the rest of the day for that milk. I
couldn't imagine what he could have done with it. I called him but he
wasn't home. Two days later he stopped in again and I asked him. His
reply, even though he knows me well was, "right up there."
None of these are problems for the sighted world because their vision
allows them to compute this information automatically without any
conscious thought.
Good luck with this endeavor and I'll be checking in for the results.
Also, thanks so much for your interest. I appreciate it.
Lois
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Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!129!89!Lois.Briggs
Internet: Lois.Briggs@f89.n129.z1.fidonet.orgGary.Greiner@f21.n272.z1.fidonet.org (Gary Greiner) (04/26/91)
Index Number: 15255
MG> In resturants they have, on the walls, simple instructions for
MG> choking patrons. In libraries they have charts explaining the Dewey
Marshall, I do not think the instructions are for "choking patrons".
The contrary, they are from saving patrons from choking. (Sorry,
couldn't resist ...)
Cheers,
TM
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Internet: Gary.Greiner@f21.n272.z1.fidonet.org