Bat.Zion@f102.n103.z1.fidonet.org (Bat Zion) (06/28/90)
Index Number: 8891
[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference on Fidonet]
Elizabeth I can truly relate to you. I was in 2 accidents in the past 5
years - both caused by errant truck drivers. Between the 2 accidents, I
have disk damage in the upper & lower backs, sciatica, nerve damage,
trochanteric bursitis, diminished use of my hands, a back that won't
support me, and I now use a cane. I am only 35 - but I feel like 90.
Sometimes the pain is so bad All I can do is cry - and want to die just
to end the pain. I am also terrified in cars. I still drive - but I am
subject to panic attacks that can trigger migraine headaches and
hypervntilating. I can not even sit comfortably in most chairs - the
only chair that is comfortable to me is my La-z-boy office chair - it
follows the contours of my back. I can prop my legs up on a crossbar to
my desk & virtually recline when using my computer. I find that most
people do not even try & understand: if you are not in a wheelchair,
you "really aren't disabled". I have a disabled parking placard & it is
appaling how many jocks park their sports cars in handicapped zones to
protect their paint jobs. I criticized this real muscular guy (he also
had muscles where his brain should have been) for parking his sports
car in the only handicapped zone in a lot & he started cussing at me &
calling me names - what a jackass! Do you find that a lot of people
feel "obligated" to solve your problems for you: recommending doctors,
herbs, quack remedies, etc.? I guess I have bored you enough... if you
would like to dialogue with me, I would like it - there just isn't
anyone around to commiserate with me.
Shoshona
Bieman
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Internet: Bat.Zion@f102.n103.z1.fidonet.orgLiz.Petry@f316.n398.z1.fidonet.org (Liz Petry) (06/28/90)
Index Number: 8893
[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference on Fidonet]
The main problem we have been discussing in the CPSG I am in is how
"You look so NORMAL...How can you be in PAIN?"
I am burned out on this.. And, now there is a woman in our group that
will have surgery this October..and body cast and PT..if this doesn't
work..she is considering SUICIDE!
There are occasions that I wonder...why did I survive those crashes?
What does God want out of me to keep me around so long? I try to keep
an optimistic attitude as often as possible, but hearing what that
woman said in the group the other day made me freak...she jumped down
my throat and another woman's..all of the time..and I got tired of
it...
SHE MAKES IT AS THOUGH H-E-R PAIN IS THE MOST IMPORTANT..and that
NOTHING anyone says or does matters to her. She won't listen, she
refuses to answer except on her own behalf, and I am sorry, but I have
enough of a time (as do you) trying to deal with our own lives..and to
listen to this "stuff" doesn't help me.
This is supposed to be unconditional love...but, am I just selfish?
Because I have to heal myself FIRST...
Please give me your insights...anyone else reading this can respond,
also...
I hope you will answer....
Elizabeth
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Internet: Liz.Petry@f316.n398.z1.fidonet.orgNadine.Thomas@p0.f10.n300.z1.fidonet.org (Nadine Thomas) (06/28/90)
Index Number: 8960
[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference on Fidonet]
hi liz..... there are some people out there who are on the perpetual
pity pot of life - they are easy to spot cause they have a very deep
ring around their butt from sitting on the pity pot so long [grin].
you may need to confront her on her attitude and ask her what she wants
and expects out of the group [when i say you i mean either you singly
or you the entire group]. if the group is not willing to back you on
confronting her and you do not feel comfortable doing it yourself, then
maybe you need to look for another group or start one yourself. you may
be able to get a professional therapist, counselor, or facilitator to
assist you. then you and either the facilitator or the group decide at
the beginning what agenda you all wish to follow and go from there.
good luck and let me know how it goes.
Nadine
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Internet: Nadine.Thomas@p0.f10.n300.z1.fidonet.orgLiz.Petry@f316.n398.z1.fidonet.org (Liz Petry) (06/28/90)
Index Number: 8962
[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference on Fidonet]
In addition, my attorney from my first accident stated..."That I am
not a contributing member of the financial status of the U.S. and
since I am a student I am literally useless..."
So, guess what? My settlement was MUCH LOWER....about 8. And,
after the attorney got his grubby hands on his 33 1/3 %, I was left
with @ $5200, and I still cannot get the bills paid!
Sickening...
Give me your thoughts...
Elizabeth
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Internet: Liz.Petry@f316.n398.z1.fidonet.orgera@ncar.ucar.edu (Ed Arnold) (07/07/90)
Index Number: 9059 In article <12547@bunker.UUCP> Liz.Petry@f316.n398.z1.fidonet.org writes: >Index Number: 8962 > >In addition, my attorney from my first accident stated..."That I am >not a contributing member of the financial status of the U.S. and >since I am a student I am literally useless..." > >So, guess what? My settlement was MUCH LOWER....about 8. And, >after the attorney got his grubby hands on his 33 1/3 %, I was left >with @ $5200, and I still cannot get the bills paid! > >Sickening... > >Give me your thoughts... Settlements of this sort are usually based on an estimate of future income done by a licensed (usually PhD economist). Even when it involves a small child, a person who (arguably) has *no* economic worth to society, estimates of lifetime loss can usually be made and reasonably argued, based on the economic status of the parents, by a competent attorney. In your case, with essentially your whole life ahead of you, the argument that you are "literally useless" is ridiculous. Someone who had been a full-time university student most likely has quite a bit of potential. I would only expect an attorney to argue this way in, e.g., the case of an older/retired person. Several observations: (1) your attorney could be dishonest; (2) your attorney could be incompetent; (3) the opposition may have had evidence which your attorney considered damaging, and he figured he would "cut a deal" to get the case out of his hair, without squaring with you; (4) your attorney may be juggling dozens of cases (common practice) and be so personally overloaded that he had to get rid of this one; (5) this isn't a large case, so he may have not considered it profitable/worthwhile to fight for; (6) ad nauseam, ad nauseam ... This is the other side of the "lawsuit crisis" visited upon us by the cretins of the insurance industry. Perhaps you missed my comments about the study earlier this year (specifically about malpractice in New York State) which found that only 1 of 8 persons *actually injured* by malpractice even bothers to sue. Assuming you weren't at fault, it sounds like you've become a victim of a system of justice which as, of late, isn't working very well. When I read stuff like this, it raises my blood pressure and makes me *mad*. But, that's about the only condolence I can offer ... aside from my collection of lawyer jokes, of course, and that's too long and inappropriate to post here. Bill's got enough hassles, as the moderator of the Usenet side of this conference, as it is ... -- Ed Arnold * NCAR * POB 3000, Boulder, CO 80307-3000 * 303-497-1253(w) era@ncar.ucar.edu [128.117.64.4] * era@ncario.bitnet * era@ncar.uucp "See, the human mind is kind of like ... a pinata. When it breaks open, there's a lot of surprises inside." --Jane Wagner/Lily Tomlin
cas@mtdcb.att.com (Clifford A Stevens, Jr) (07/09/90)
Index Number: 9061 In article <12478@bunker.UUCP>, Liz.Petry@f316.n398.z1.fidonet.org (Liz Petry) writes: > Index Number: 8893 > > The main problem we have been discussing in the CPSG I am in is how > "You look so NORMAL...How can you be in PAIN?" I synpathasize! I don't have this problem, but in my Closed Head Injury support group there are many survivors whose *ONLY* deficet are cognitive deficets. I mean, they look, talk, and move like they're uninjured! So when they fail at something (because of cognitive problems), even people who know they've had a CHI think they're just being stupid! > I am burned out on this.. And, now there is a woman in our group that > will have surgery this October..and body cast and PT..if this doesn't > work..she is considering SUICIDE! Suicide would be really unfortunate, but if she does suicide you have to realize that it wasn't your fault! > There are occasions that I wonder...why did I survive those crashes? > What does God want out of me to keep me around so long? I feel I lived to educate those around me about Closed Head Injuries! So educate us on Chronic Pain! I mean, what causes it? What are the treatments? How bad is the pain? Are there cures? How do you deal w it? > I try to keep > an optimistic attitude as often as possible, but hearing what that > woman said in the group the other day made me freak...she jumped down > my throat and another woman's..all of the time..and I got tired of > it... Well, what I do in similar situations is I say to myself, "Don't be bothered by little things! And this SOB is a little thing!". > SHE MAKES IT AS THOUGH H-E-R PAIN IS THE MOST IMPORTANT It is, but just to her! And you can think of yourself as better than her, because you think there are things more important than your pain! > ..and that NOTHING anyone says or does matters to her. Well, if she really feels that way, then obviously the Support Group doesn't matter, so why does she come? > She won't listen, she > refuses to answer except on her own behalf, and I am sorry, but I have > enough of a time (as do you) trying to deal with our own lives..and to > listen to this "stuff" doesn't help me. But is it hurting you? It sounds like it is, so maybe it's time to find a new group? > This is supposed to be unconditional love... Who says? > but, am I just selfish? Because I have to heal myself FIRST... Well, you don't have to heal others when doing so hurts! > Please give me your insights...anyone else reading this can respond, > also... OK, no charge! (Well, I charge what they're worth!) > I hope you will answer.... OK, I hope it helps you, but doing this stuff is one way I help myself! ------------ Militant Handicapped Survivor! Cliff Stevens MT1E228 att!cbnewsj!ncas (201)957-3902
Liz.Petry@f1.n3801.z1.fidonet.org (Liz Petry) (08/10/90)
Index Number: 9659
[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference on Fidonet]
Well, I just found out the other day, that my insurance company is
only offering me $8,000 instead of the $10,000 they originally
oofferee. They stated in my letter that..."I was medically treated
as far as I can be treated".
I started to go to a chiropractor 2 weeks ago, and now I can move my
neck...I haven't been able to do that in 1 1/2 years!!
Any views?
Elizabeth
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Internet: Liz.Petry@f1.n3801.z1.fidonet.orgLinda.Misek-Falkoff@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.org (Linda Misek-Falkoff) (04/24/91)
Index Number: 15130
[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference on Fidonet]
Have hope -- I must make this message brief, as line keeps dropping.
I recognize as real and highly stressful many of the "public's"
misconceptions about disabling pain. There is help for organically
induced pain so often written off as "pscyhological." Actually, many
observors want to help and are simply baffled. I say to you and others
writing in this forum that after 15 years of denials by others
(excruciating pain, near passing out, sweats, self-doubt based on
non-credence -- the whole bag -- plus the awful pain itself -- I was
finally diagnosed with an organic brainstem lesion, operated on, and now
manage residual pain myself. I don't say we have the same organic
problem, but I saw many a care-giver before I found conventional help.
Technology lags beyond real world experience. I would be happy to share
more about the relief I found for my headaches. Neurosurgeon: Dr. Peter
Janetta. Read: WORKING IN A VERY SMALL PLACE, a recent popularization by
a professional writer. Re my diagnosis, experiences pre and post, type
of surgery, chat whether relevant to you, pleasew write to me on this
network. PS: I had gone to 3 or 4 extremely MAJOR CLINICS in the USA and
catscans failed for many years to show the brainstem lesion which
apparently had been there all the while. Your problem different? Very
likely ... but the point is DON'T GIVE UP HOPE! IF YOU SAY IT HURTS,
MANY WILL WANT TO HELP. Linda. PS: sorry, message wasn't brief. I truly
expected the system to bounce me and act as a limiter. again, Linda.
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Internet: Linda.Misek-Falkoff@f3.n157.z1.fidonet.orgKeith.Jones@p0.f15.n114.z1.fidonet.org (Keith Jones) (05/03/91)
Index Number: 15316
[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference on Fidonet]
Linda it is encouraging to hear of your experiences. I too have
undiagnosed chronic pain in the right side of my back, right hip,
and right foot. I have seen approximately 15 different doctors in
fields involving spinal cord injury, orthopaedics, neurology, and
neurosurgery,as well as kinisiologists, chiropractors,psychologists,and
pain management specialists. I have traveled from Cleveland to Phoenix
and been to all the best medical facilities. I have been told to accept
it. I know there are certain problems in life we all must accept.
I have a spinal cord injury and associated problems I have accepted.
But the pain which came about slowly from nowhere I believe has a
physical origin and I just have not found the right doctor. They all
run the same tests and if they cannot pigeonhole you into a specific
broad diagnosis they tell you to live with it. I am returning to
Cleveland very frustrated. I notyiced your BBS had a 216 area code.
Is this where your doctor Peter Janetta is located? Please let me
know. I am very encouraged by your story. You are a very courageous
person and I am very happy you found your solution. God Bless and
please write back.
Keith
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Internet: Keith.Jones@p0.f15.n114.z1.fidonet.org