Donna.Siren@p19.f5.n396.z1.fidonet.org (Donna Siren) (05/03/91)
Index Number: 15292
[This is from the Blink Talk Conference]
MP> As a final note, I once read something written by a blind
MP> person saying that they always accept help,
MP> even if they don't need it, so that the sighted person
MP> will ask another blind person later if he/she wants help, and this
MP> person apparently felt that if he/she said no to an offer,
MP> the person wouldn't ask anyone else.
I've heard that said before, too, but I think that how a person
refuses help will make more of an impression on a person than
whether or not they accept it. I've refused help on many
occasions, but I've always been nice about it, just saying "no
thank you". I've also known people whose help was refused angrily
and now they'll never ask another blind person if they need help,
which is very sad. I'm sure if those same people had refused
graciously, these sighted people wouldn't feel that way.
Donna
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Internet: Donna.Siren@p19.f5.n396.z1.fidonet.orgAnn.Parsons@f207.n260.z1.fidonet.org (Ann Parsons) (05/03/91)
Index Number: 15310
[This is from the Blink Talk Conference]
Hi Mica,
I have done a lot of public Education talks mostly to school kids and when I
do I always talk about this issue. What I say is that if a sighted person sees
a blind person who looks as if they need help. Ask them if they need help.
Then I go on to say that the sighted person is likely to get three answers:
one, "yes, thanks." two, "No, thanks.", three, "go away I don't need help.". I
always stress the fact that blind folks have bad days just like they do and
occasionally are bad tempered. That doesn't mean that all blind people are
that way. <grin>
Ann P.
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Internet: Ann.Parsons@f207.n260.z1.fidonet.orgGlen.Nielson@f778.n115.z1.fidonet.org (Glen Nielson) (05/04/91)
Index Number: 15362 [This is from the Blink Talk Conference] > Recently, I wanted to use a gentlemen's telephone, and > he > asked me if I needed help dialing it, and I told > him no. He then said, that he didn't want to treat me > like > I was disabled. > Then, there was a time when I was walking on campus, > and The most memorable thing which ever happened to me was the time I was walking out of a mall and a guy said, "Would you like me to help you to the car?" I said, "What car?" He said, "Oh, I forgot." I said, "That was a classic." He didn't seem to appreciate the humor. Glen -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!115!778!Glen.Nielson Internet: Glen.Nielson@f778.n115.z1.fidonet.org
mgflax@phoenix.princeton.edu (Marshall G. Flax) (05/10/91)
Index Number: 15469 [Obligatory note: I'm not blind, or even disabled.] In article <19085@bunker.isc-br.com> Donna.Siren@p19.f5.n396.z1.fidonet.org writes: > >I've heard that said before, too, but I think that how a person >refuses help will make more of an impression on a person than >whether or not they accept it. I've refused help on many >occasions, but I've always been nice about it, just saying "no >thank you". I've also known people whose help was refused angrily >and now they'll never ask another blind person if they need help, >which is very sad. I'm sure if those same people had refused >graciously, these sighted people wouldn't feel that way. > Donna > Unfortunately, Donna, you seem to include only half of the equation. How a person offers help will make more of an impression than whether or not that help is accepted. Offering to take a blind person's arm is one thing, grabbing it is another. Enough grabs, enough refusals to understand the word "no", and is it suprising that a person would never want to accept help again? I'm sure that if sighted people would treat blind people more graciously, blind people wouldn't feel the way they often do. Courtesy is always a two-way street. marshall /****************************************************************************/ /* Marshall Gene Flax '89 (609)258-6739 mgflax@phoenix.Princeton.EDU */ /* c/o Jack Gelfand|Psychology Dept|Princeton University|Princeton NJ 08544 */ /****************************************************************************/