James.Womack@f14.n300.z1.fidonet.org (James Womack) (06/17/91)
Index Number: 16057
[This is from the Silent Talk Conference]
Jessica, like with any group, people have to kind of earn their way
in. Whether it is a team, a gang, a department in some agency or whatever;
the newcomer is an outsider until proven otherwise. I experienced and
still experience rejection for various reasons with various groups.
Take my views on mainstreaming and MCE for example. I am not exactly
against either though I am a stauch advocate of ASL as a first language
and in high favor of residential schools I F they are willing to open
up and acknowledge that historic hearizing of the Deaf is a failure
and not the answer to better education of the Deaf. In any case, my
views that mainstreaming has a place for certain Deaf kids I F it is
true mainstreaming and not voucher money contests and the fact that
I would advocate MCE for certain deafies whose first language actually
is English sometimes gets me in trouble with the culturally Deaf.
Because I am post-lingually deaf, my support of ASL as a first
language and basis for teaching English as a second language AFTER
ASL is mastered, gets me in hot water with hearies and deafies who
advocate MCE or speech orientated approaches. Still, I always have
a bevy of good people who simply respct the fact that I think the way
I do because I am who I am as is true for themselves
Within every group, there are those people who will love and respect
you not only for yourself but oftentimes in spite of yourself. Hang
in there; you're bond to bump into them sooner or later if you haven't
already.
Now with the Deaf-too often wolves in sheep's clothing have undermined
and betrayed the Deaf. People who were hearing or deaf people who had
hearing mindsets would come in and win our trust. Then we'd get stabbed
in the back by their advocating things they claimed we wanted but which
they had never asked us if we did---and all too often we didn't want
it. These people would (I think unintentionally) destroy us as an independent
people and all things we hold dear. I don't have the time here to go
into detail but will if you ask me to. We have learned the H A R D
way to be very leery of people who "seem" heaing in thought and behavior.
As a result, deaf people like you and hearies who genuinely wish to
be a part of the Deaf Community are shunned until either a Deaf advocate
vouches for the person or the person proves over time that s/he can
be trusted. It's a process that takes a bit of time but it no different
from wiggling your way into any other group. But believe me, I have
an understand of rejection that you probably wouldn't imagine. In my
case, it means little to me as long as I believe in myself and what
I am doing. As long as I have that straight, nothing else matters.
Now the interesting thing for me is that my "sometimes" rejectors come
off as my biggest supporters in other issues. They often consult with
me on how to handle a variety of matters, even some personal things.
I think it probably not so much the person theo object to as it is
the issues. In any case, I think I am trying to say, keep at it because
in the end a balance is struck. It's just group dynamics at work. Often
a group itself does not understand the dynamics that mak ethem behave
as they do.Making it your business to understand that can go a long
way in making it work for you. I actually think it is kind of fun watching
and making the transition happen, really.
Uh, oh, time to get and be gone. Later, Jes.
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