SX43%LIVERPOOL.AC.UK@evans.ucar.edu (11/19/90)
//////////////Original message//////////////
Hello all,
this vaguely relevant article, written by a woman, looks at the quest
ion of marriage, past and present, in Muslim community. The issue of women is
(as may be expected!) a high-light.
I would appreciate copies of any further discussion to be mailed to
me direct.
Cheerio,
Fazal.
Title : "It's a Material World."
Source : MuslimWise magazine (Jan90).
KEYWORDS : Marriage, Islam, Women, Community
Lines : 120 approx
Contact: BM MuslimWise,
London WC1N 3XX
England, UK.
Telephone : 081-902-5968/6074 (England)
[ Reprinted here *with* permission :
'All rights are *not* reserved. Articles in MuslimWise may be
reproduced without prior permission in any publication not
not published by Penguin. Being mere mortals we do get mad
when somebody reproduces our articles and 'forgets' to
acknowledge us. Articles on anything so long as they have a name
and address are welcomed --from Muslims and non-Muslims.' --MW. ]
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IT'S A MATERIAL WORLD.
======================
Last month's MuslimWise saw the introduction of the *Matrimonial* page.
The majority of us weren't so keen on it being introduced so soon and in
such a manner. Our argument was that if we were genuinely concerned
about trying to help people get married, our main responsibility as a
magazine was other than provide a platform for introduction. We felt
that the priority was to raise the issues associated with marriage
and discuss them extensively before we did or suggested something.
Our editor alone was of a different opinion. "Let's discuss the
issue the way you are suggesting," he dictated, "but in the meantime
there is nothing wrong in trying to do something about the matter."
That the *Matrimonial* page has proven to be the most popular
amongst our readers is in no way a vindication of the editor's decision.
But it does confirm that the issue of Marriage is a real and serious one
in our community and has to be treated as such.
MuslimWise has decided that it will run a series of articles on
the subject with the aim of stimulating debate and providing practical
suggestions on how we could perhaps handle some of the complexities
involved.
Marriage in Islam is a surprisingly simple affair, not the
complicated hullabaloo we experience today. The idea of 'Arranged
Marriages' is as alien as the dowry system which, unfortunately, most
Muslims so religiously practice. One doesnt need to be an Islamic
Scholar to grasp the Islamic perspective on marriage.
A look at the pre-Islamic Arab society provides an interesting
insight and parallel to many of our contemporary problems. The society
was tribally divided and dictated to by materialism. Women were regarded
as property that could be bought and sold. To get married women had to
pay exorbitant dowries to the families of their husbands-to-be. Hence,
for the vast majority of women of humble background,marriage was out of
the question. The best way out of the situation was to become a
concubine.
Overall women were seen as a burden. Female daughters were buried
alive as the birth of a girl child came to be seen as a curse : because
the parents were not able to provide the necessary dowry and "women were
most likely to spoil the family honour".(Does this ring any bells ?)
Islam came and changed all that. The Holy Quran doesnt go into
detail about the arrangements of marriage. But the most important factor
is that marriage is seen as completing half of our Deen (Faith). And
the relationship of husband and wife in Islam is seen as complementary
--as close as 'twin halves'.
The Holy Quran describes this relationship as :
"And of His signs is that He created mates for you
from yourselves that you might find Peace in them,and He put between
you Love and Compassion. Surely there are signs in this for those who
reflect." [30:21]
THE EMPHASIS IS ON the maintenance of the marriage union. There
are specific responsibilities for all parties involved : men, women,
children, grandparents, etc. The responsibilities are obligatory, and
are almost as important as prayers.
The Prophet's own life (Peace on him) was an example to both men
and women about human relationships. His marriage to Khadijah in
particular is a prime example of love and compassion, of mutual respect,
humility and piety. His relationship with children we can only attempt
to emulate. It is a sad reflection on today's society that the Holy Quran
and the teachings of the Prophet (Peace on him) are seldom presented
(let alone practised) in their pristine form, devoid of cultural and
social warps.
Many muslims who consider themselves to be following the Sunnah
[Life-example of the Prophet (PBUH) ] are selective. At best they dwell
on the margins and dont want to tackle the nitty gritty. To them for
instance, how the Prophet (PBUH) brushed his teeth and which hand he
used when eating are nore important than the manner in which he talked
to people and the way he emphasised how *not* to earn a living. [Ie
forbidden methods,-FRE].
We can only dream of how life would be today if our Muslim
brothers truly practised the Sunnah in its entirety, instead of picking
bits and pieces they find convenient. One thing we are sure is that our
position as women would be, as they say, unassailable.
So where does this leave us all in this new decade ? Well the
1990's sees the Muslim community in Britain in the same decadent
condition as that of pre-Islamic Arabia. The need to maintain
"Tradition" is fanatic and must be fought tooth and nail, as it is the
biggest obstacle in changing our lives to a more Islamically-oriented
one.
We are obsessed with materialism and hold useless nostalgic
dreams of the "Motherlands". Living in the past we dont, pardon the
expression, give a damn for our future here. Our youth are good only
for anti-Rushdie demos. And the women, well, we are not burying them
alive these days; we only put them alive in mantal coma.
In this state of Jahiliyya [Ignorance] the loser is the community
itself. the very foundation of our community, the family, is under
threat. Not only is the quality of our family life unenviable, but the
chance to take up the marital state itself is being denied to an
increasing number of our community.
(*To be continued in a later issue*)
Sumayyah Hassan.
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