stevelee@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (The Computer is your friend) (01/17/90)
A JAUNT WITH A MADMAN
part two
Confessions Before the Journey
Okay, enough of the technical stuff. One need not know that
when the speed of light is approached that the star field
becomes distorted and that you get some incredible photon
eddying effects. Fascinating perhaps only to the one deemed
"unfit to associate with for reasons of insanity."
I don't care. Let them all rot in their own private little
hells. They can have them. I care not for their desire to fit
in with everybody else. I care not for the conformity, the
silly formality and social graces which restrict the mind and
soul to earthly pursuits.
Idiots, all of them. Fools. Even the scientific community,
for which I have lived all of my life, thinks this is all a
raving fantasy. 'Time travel is impossible,' they say. 'Leave
it to the silly sci-fi writers to deal with. At least they know
what they do is fiction.'
As if I do not. I, who stood before them, lauded as one of
the greatest minds of qunatum physics and relativity. I, the
man that recieved the Nobel Prize in 1994 for work that was
nothing compared to what I have done now. And they cast me
aside, telling me that my mind has finally cracked.
Who do they think they are? Once I sat in the chairs of the
Gods, and now I subsist in their sewers. Bitter, am I, you
ask? I don't see why I shouldn't be. I have the right.
I must prove them wrong. I must. They must believe me, no
matter how difficult it is for them to accept.
But wait. What if someone more insane than I wants to use
what I have discovered as a tool for evil? One must realize
that I am not evil, only crazy. There is a grave difference.
One can be completely sane and be evil, as can a raving lunatic
such as myself be compelled to be a force for good.
So I must leave. Take all my research with me, burn it
perhaps, but my love of knowledge and sharing is greater than my
loathing of humanity. Because at the base of everything, the
human race is inherantly good. My only consolation is that no
matter how I hate people, that at the base of everything, the
human race is as noble as everything King Arthur ever dreamed it
could be.
But to be enslaved. Oh, to be enslaved to a world where
mediocrity is stressed, where only the rotten parasites come out
on top. Leeches, the lot of them. They use the Mother's Body
until it becomes a dry husk, and move on, not caring that this
could possibly be the last meal they ever have.
Maybe that's why they think I'm crazy. Because I dare to say
something they don't want to hear. Are they so afraid that I am
right?
Maybe that's why I'm going back. Maybe that's why I have
decided to leave this smog-infested nest of vampires for a time
without so much as a goodbye to my family. They, too, think I
should be put away. They'll never come out and say it, but when
my little girl says "Dad, I don't think you should be living all
alone anymore. Who knows what might happen. You might hurt
yourself."
In other words, I might go crazy and go on a rampage with an
outdated assault rifle like the AK-47 at the local McDonald's.
Or maybe she is afraid that in my misery, I will decide to end
it all.
The thought has crossed my mind. But I can't do it. I have
too many things yet to discover. So I leave this note in hopes
that my family finds it on the end table. They will
understand. I will be in touch, and I will keep good notes of
what I find. But I can guarentee that I will not be back for
some time. I must find a reason to it all. There has to be
one.
And by the Gods themselves, I will find it.
-_s_t_e_v_e_l_e_e-
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-Steven Lee Pearson aka stevelee@csd4.csd.uwm.edu-
-I am the Anti-Theist-
-I live to be ravished by kisses from Tr*sh-
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