brian@sdccsu3.UUCP (Brian Kantor) (06/18/84)
[they might truely BE windmills...] Those who remember the continuing conjecture regarding the metamorphosis of paperclips, safety pins, coat hangers and bicycles that took place here on the the net a few months back may be interested in the pursuing the source of the affair: the other day I had occasion to re-encounter the sci-fi story from which it all originated: Avram Davidson's "Or All the Seas With Oysters". The copy I have is in "The Vintage Anthology of Science Fantasy: Twenty Stories in the Modern Manner" edited by Christopher Cerf. Enjoyable reading! A brief excerpt (as permitted by copyright law): "... Oscar, the safety pins are the pupa forms and then they, like, HATCH. Into the larval forms. Which just look like coat hangers. They feel like them, even, but they're not.... All those bicycles the cops find, and they hold waiting for the owners to show up ... they were never made in a factory. They grew." Get it by all means. Lots of other good stories too. Maybe this should have been in net.bio??? :-) -- -Brian Kantor, UC San Diego ihnp4 \ Kantor@Nosc decvax \ akgua ----- sdcsvax ----- brian dcdwest/ ucbvax/
halle1@houxz.UUCP (J.HALLE) (06/18/84)
But that is all wrong. Everybody knows that washing machines eat socks (but only one out of a pair), which are then spontaneously reincarnated in your closet as hangers.
ron@brl-vgr.ARPA (Ron Natalie <ron>) (06/19/84)
Actually, Art Buchwald wrote an article a while back on how all the umbrellas in the house mutate into coat hangers some time before it rains. -Ron
wetcw@pyuxa.UUCP (T C Wheeler) (06/19/84)
The coat hanger multilplying joke was one of George Carlin's earliest routines from the early 60's or late 50's, before he became very well known. I saw him do it back then and choked on my Geritol laughing so hard. It is true, however, that if you place two coat hangers in a dark closet for about six weeks, you will have at least forty when you look again. All coat hangers are grown. Has anyone ever actually seen a coat hanger factory? It is nothing more than thousands of closets where the little rascals are bred. The wooden hangers that we have all found in our closets are the result of a strange mutation that only occurs when a new garmet is placed in with a bunch of normal wire hangers. The ones with small paper tubes making up the bottom rung are hangers that were removed from the closet before the matured. Plastic hangers are just a sub-species of the wire hanger that was bred to serve as a non-fertile substitute, sort of like mules, so that stores would not have the problem of too many wire hangers breding in their storage areas. Is anyone interested in Flug, another Carlin discovery? T. C. Wheeler
bill@utastro.UUCP (William H. Jefferys) (06/19/84)
> But that is all wrong. Everybody knows that washing machines eat socks > (but only one out of a pair), which are then spontaneously reincarnated > in your closet as hangers. Evolution in action! When I was in college, beer can openers were the larval stage of coat hangers. The rise of the pop-top can and twist-off top have forced coat hangers to develop another means of reproduction, and now the can opener species is almost extinct. Maybe I should have posted this to net.origins :-) -- Bill Jefferys 8-% Astronomy Dept, University of Texas, Austin TX 78712 (USnail) {allegra,ihnp4}!{ut-sally,noao}!utastro!bill (uucp) utastro!bill@ut-ngp (ARPANET)
barmar@mit-eddie.UUCP (Barry Margolin) (06/20/84)
In article <862@houxz.UUCP> halle1@houxz.UUCP (J.HALLE) writes: >But that is all wrong. Everybody knows that washing machines eat socks >(but only one out of a pair), which are then spontaneously reincarnated >in your closet as hangers. The way I heard it (I believe in the Journal of Irreproduceable Results) is that hangers are born as paper clips, and they grow into bicycle frames. Maybe socks are the eggs, and washers are hatcheries? -- Barry Margolin ARPA: barmar@MIT-Multics UUCP: ..!genrad!mit-eddie!barmar
gm@trsvax.UUCP (06/20/84)
#R:sdccsu3:-194200:trsvax:51500003:000:1342 trsvax!gm Jun 20 15:43:00 1984 An article from a year ago should answer this question: ***** trsvax:net.misc / pyuxjj!rlr / 12:34 pm May 19, 1983 Socks disappear in dryers because superior beings from another dimension have lost odd socks of their own, and discovered our planet to be a regular source of socks. The space warp produced by a spinning dryer, combined with the intense heat, opens an interdimensional portal through which alien beings reach in and 'mine' for socks. Other alien races are subjugated by these beings and forced to work in the 'sock mines'. Occasionally, a subjugated alien miner falls through the portal, and this explains why weird people are often found near laundromats. The Inter- Dimensional Police are powerless, since Reagan will not sign a treaty with them to extradite the aliens to the other dimension. This is why they must work undercover to find these escapees on our planet. This is extremely difficult, since they must repeatedly go back to the laundromat to put dimes in the dryer (otherwise the interdimensional portal is sealed up). Got it? (People claim that they never lose a complete matched pair of socks in such interdimensional transactions, only unmatched pairs. But then, how would you know if a matched pair was lost, if you didn't find a sock that didn't have a match?) (HUH?) Rich Rosen -----------
hsc@lanl-a.UUCP (06/23/84)
I thought that everyone knew that somewhere there is another diminsion where people find three socks in the washing machine.... The Sorcerer's apprentice -- hsc@lanl-a
chris@umcp-cs.UUCP (06/24/84)
[Imagine the voice of Rod Serling:]
One morning, as Mr. Burns was late for work, he reached into the
dryer while it was still tumbling, to get some socks... and fell
into
the place
we call
THE SOCK ZONE
--
In-Real-Life: Chris Torek, Univ of MD Comp Sci (301) 454-7690
UUCP: {seismo,allegra,brl-bmd}!umcp-cs!chris
CSNet: chris@umcp-cs ARPA: chris@maryland