kfletche@sun222.nas.nasa.GOV ("Katherine E. Fletcher") (08/03/90)
In article <9007290927.AA26920@wolves.UUCP> wolves.uucp!woody@mcnc.ORG writes: > I also > expected the (expected) rise in single-father households, which ought > to be analagous to single-mother households, to be considered a good > thing by the feminist movement as a whole. I certainly feel that it is a good thing and I think many other feminists do also. You have to realize that the situation in itself is no win, though. It's a choice between several bad options coming out of what is often a hostile environment. Neither parent fully trusts each other. And both face potential loss. Most likely everyone loses. I think the backlash against men by some female feminists comes from the fear of losing their children, some sort of parental instinct. I think the reason that men in the past did not exhibit this strongly may be because they did not participate as much in the day to day child rearing and thus did not feel as much (I know they did feel) loss when their partners were given full custody. I was raised by my mother who had sole custody and my parents have always lived on opposite coasts. I know that my father missed out. Mom and I have talked about custody and she feels logically that men should have equal rights. But she says she doesn't think she would have been able to bear being with out her child and that scares her about the new attempt at equality. > The resistance > I've seen has served to disillusion me greatly about the feminist > movement. Must I consider feminists to be my enemy, if I wish to > advocate remedies to the sexist awarding of custody and visitation? No, no, no. Please do not consider feminists as your enemy. Parental separation is the main enemy here but I see no solution to that problem. Realize that all parents may behave irrationally on a global level in order to protect their own children and desire to be with them. Seek to educate men and women about the joys of child rearing for a man and the pain of being without his children. > Woody Muller > woody@wolves.uucp Kathi Fletcher kef@rice.edu