larryc@poe.jpl.nasa.gov (Larry Carroll) (10/16/90)
I also keep hearing statements on the net like "Of course, when a man does it it's discrimination; when a feminist does it, it's OK." "Of course this is just a man's viewpoint; what do you feminists think?" Such statements are also a bunch of crap. About 20% of feminist activists are men. I, for instance, have been an activist for almost twenty years, off and on. (In December I had my 5th burnout after a year-and-a-half of volunteer work for Los Angeles NOW, spending 5-10 hours a week & contributing more than $1200 to various feminist groups. Or more than $1800 if you count my attending the November Pro-Choice Rally in Washington.) I don't know how typical I am of male activists; I've usually been too busy to discuss much with other men why we are there. It's not because I'm looking for lovers, though I've occasionally found them; there are much better places to do that. (I'm intensely interested in the human mind & heart, & crazy about dancing and acting, so many of my dates are with therapists or psychologists & amateur or pro dancers or actors -- the current non-sexist term for performers of either sex!) Nor is it because I want to be a woman or dominated by women. (I'm big, muscular, independent (sometimes to the point of absurdity), & perfectly happy being a man.) There are two reasons that are foremost in my mind for my feminism & my activism. First, I had several female friends when I was a kid, some of them cousins or nieces (who were mostly older than I was, due to my father's re- marriage). Females never became mysterious, alien creatures, even when pubescence came around. We simply explored our sexuality together -- safely, since I read a lot and knew the dangers of pregnancy & how to avoid it & passed that info on. When I became aware of how badly women were treated, in ways both obvious & subtle, I was highly pissed that anyone would do that to my family & friends. Second, as I became more aware of how sexism screwed men, I became angry for my own account. A lot of discussion of this has already been done here, so I'll only mention one. When my daughter died, I COULD NOT CRY. I'd internalized too many of the messages about proper manly behaviour; it was years before I learned how to grieve and could get over it. Larry Carroll "Takes-us" (correct pronunciation of Texas) Dancin' Fool