mary@mizar.usc.EDU (Mary Froehlig) (12/31/90)
I am new to this newsgroup, but really need input from the net here. A couple of weeks ago, my office hired a temporary employee from a reputable agency. Unfortunately, the guy was very odd, and we found out that he made really inappropriate remarks to one of my student workers. This girl is 18 (just turned) and didn't know how to respond to his question, "so, you went to a girls' school...are you a nun or a slut?" I told him we didn't need his services anymore after this came out, and after he made remarks to me about the woman he was taking a phone message from. Now he wants to "clear this all up" because the agency (who knows what he said) isn't sending him out on job assignments any more. I thought he was basically weird but harmless, but I found out that my student worker was _afraid_ of him (that he would do her physical harm) and my SO, who has met this guy, has also said never to be alone at the office if the guy says he will "stop by." On evaluation, I have to somewhat agree with their observations. So, I'd like to know how you all would view this situation. I'm obviously not going to give him a recommendation, or an easy way out. I would also prefer that he never set foot in the office again. However, he does intend to come by (today) to return a magazine that he borrowed from one of the other workers in the office. I'd appreciate your views and input as to how to deactivate this situation. It would be best for the office if he just didn't call and knew he was not welcome to do so. Thanks for all your help. Please send e-mail.
cowpatti@ncar.ucar.EDU (Patricia Mae Anthony) (01/02/91)
In article <29057@usc> mary@mizar.usc.EDU (Mary Froehlig) writes: >I am new to this newsgroup, but really need input from the net here. >he said) isn't sending him out on job assignments any more. I thought >he was basically weird but harmless, but I found out that my student >worker was _afraid_ of him (that he would do her physical harm) and my >SO, who has met this guy, has also said never to be alone at the >office if the guy says he will "stop by." On evaluation, I have to >somewhat agree with their observations. Follow your instincts in this situation. The price of a magazine or two isn't worth the possible harm, emotional and physical, that has and might still come from this situation. It's not worth it to worry about who's feelings you might or might not be hurting. Tell the agency you don't want him back in the office, and ask THEM to get the magazines back for you or buy new ones. A call to the police department might not be a bad idea. Agencies don't usually check things like that. The police could find out if he was new to this area, and what he may have been involved in, if anything, where he previously resided. This guy needs to get the message LOUD AND CLEAR that his behavior is inapporpriate, and if he IS a potential offender, needs to know that you people aren't playing roulette with your safety. Patricia
stabler@athena.cs.uga.EDU (David Stabler) (01/02/91)
In article <29057@usc> mary@mizar.usc.EDU (Mary Froehlig) writes: >A couple of weeks ago, my office hired a temporary employee from a >reputable agency. Unfortunately, the guy was very odd, and we found >out that he made really inappropriate remarks to one of my student >workers. This girl is 18 (just turned) and didn't know how to respond >to his question, "so, you went to a girls' school...are you a nun or a >slut?" I told him we didn't need his services anymore after this came >out, and after he made remarks to me about the woman he was taking a >phone message from. > >Now he wants to "clear this all up" because the agency (who knows what >he said) isn't sending him out on job assignments any more. > >I'd appreciate your views and input as to how to deactivate this >situation. My solution would be to arrange a meeting with the temp guy, the student worker, yourself, and 1 or 2 other managers. In advance of the meeting, make a list of exactly what he did that you thought merited "firing" him, and discuss this with the student worker and the other manager(s) so there will be no surprises. Then meet with the guy and tell him why he was dismissed. Send a letter to the temp agency explaining why he was dismissed. If he gives you any flak, just tell him sexual harassment is not tolerated at your office, period. -- Sexism is a social disease. Kathi Mills - stabler@athena.cs.uga.edu
RFM@PSUVM.PSU.EDU (01/03/91)
Does your school have a office that handles sexual harassment allegations? What about your local gov't/state agency? Have the co-ed file a formal complaint with one/all. Maybe part of the settlement would be therapy for this guy? Maybe he's got a "record," and temp agency didn't check him out thoroughly... maybe coed can SUE!.... Bob M., PSU-Harrisburg
greg@ncar.ucar.EDU (Greg Bullough) (01/03/91)
In article <29057@usc> mary@mizar.usc.EDU (Mary Froehlig) writes: >I am new to this newsgroup, but really need input from the net here. > >A couple of weeks ago, my office hired a temporary employee from a >reputable agency. Unfortunately, the guy was very odd, and we found >out that he made really inappropriate remarks to one of my student >workers. This girl is 18 (just turned) and didn't know how to respond >to his question, "so, you went to a girls' school...are you a nun or a >slut?" Lest you have any doubts, that's clearly way out of bounds, and indicates a deep-seated attitude problem. Even if it wasn't sexual harassment, it was still bloody rude and insensitive, ESPECIALLY to an eighteen-year-old "kid." > I told him we didn't need his services anymore after this came >out, and after he made remarks to me about the woman he was taking a >phone message from. Good for you! A temporary employee is just that. It isn't your job to try and straighten him out. >Now he wants to "clear this all up" because the agency (who knows what >he said) isn't sending him out on job assignments any more. I thought >he was basically weird but harmless, but I found out that my student >worker was _afraid_ of him (that he would do her physical harm) and my >SO, who has met this guy, has also said never to be alone at the >office if the guy says he will "stop by." On evaluation, I have to >somewhat agree with their observations. I think that you have a good consensus of opinion on the matter. I think it's especially powerful since you have a male opinion which confirms yours. If you want to be truly charitable, you could offer to meet with him at the temp agency, or to meet individually with a representative from the temp agency. That would be true charity, however. Depending upon his personality, it might only get you into more difficulty. On the other hand, if he is just terribly misguided, as opposed to dangerous, he might be able to learn from this incident (let's face it, some folks have got no 'up-jerking'). >So, I'd like to know how you all would view this situation. I'm >obviously not going to give him a recommendation, or an easy way out. I think that his loss of your recommendation is no great loss to him, and that won't bother him. I also think that you are perfectly justified in telling him to settle it with the temp agency. That's what they get paid for. >I would also prefer that he never set foot in the office again. You have a perfect right to feel that way, and to have that request honored. >However, he does intend to come by (today) to return a magazine that >he borrowed from one of the other workers in the office. That's why god invented the postal service. It's okay to say "no." It COULD be an honest desire or it could be an excuse. >I'd appreciate your views and input as to how to deactivate this >situation. It would be best for the office if he just didn't call and >knew he was not welcome to do so. A perfectly valid and common opinion of ex-employers. Nothing wrong with it. From the point of view of a male who feels that the sexual harassment thing sometimes gets overblown or out of hand, I feel that you are entirely justified in your feelings and actions. And I applaud your courage in dealing with the situation swiftly and decisively. I think that you stand the best chance of not having any further problems with him if you make it clear that you just can't abide that kind of behavior, however it might have been meant. And that he is no longer welcome to visit your workplace, and that you consider the discussion to be closed. And I hope that you hear no more of it. Greg
operator%saturn@ucselx.sdsu.edu (The Dump Daemon) (01/15/91)
In article <29057@usc> mary@mizar.usc.EDU (Mary Froehlig) writes: > A couple of weeks ago, my office hired a temporary employee from a > reputable agency. Unfortunately, the guy was very odd, and we found > out that he made really inappropriate remarks to one of my student > workers. This girl is 18 (just turned) and didn't know how to respond > to his question, "so, you went to a girls' school...are you a nun or a > slut?" It is a rather widely held (albeit dubious) belief that those who attend an "all-girls" school are more likely to have devious sexual proclivities. This belief is not restricted to men, nor to criminals. Is this sexual harassment? What if another "girl" had made this statement? What were the circumstances under which he made this statement? Was it as a response to an equally offensive comment by the girl? Is her innocence presumed because she is a girl? And his guilt because he is a man? >I told him we didn't need his services anymore after this came out The recommended course of action would usually be to tell him that such comments are unacceptable in the professional environment and that any further specific complaints brought against him would be grounds for dismissal. The proper course of action should be based on a much much much much more in-depth explanation of the circumstances than the one you have provided - the one on which most of your replies will have been based. > I thought he was basically weird but harmless, but I found out that my > student worker was _afraid_ of him (that he would do her physical harm) Does the student worker's reaction fundamentally change the nature of the actions taken by the temporary employee? Would it make him less guilty, or even innocent, if she were not afraid? Is her fear of physical harm justified solely by the comment he made which you have quoted above? > and my SO, who has met this guy, has also said never to be alone at the > office if the guy says he will "stop by." That's a very strong statement. Very strong to be submitted in your posting without any supporting evidence at all. Very strong to be submitted by someone whose objectivity is questionable. > So, I'd like to know how you all would view this situation. The amount of relevant information provided in the original posting is less than ten sentences. Much of the information is vague and essentially amounts to what would rightly be considered hearsay. A situation in the workplace should be treated with the utmost professionalism and fairness. Hearsay and other unsupported accusations are intolerable (in theory). It is impossible to make a fair judgement based solely on the evidence you have given in your original posting. The career and therefore life of a human being is at stake, and it is within your power to significantly and permanently damage it. Would you choose to have your future decided by essentially anonymous and thoroughly subjective reactions to a two paragraph accusation made against you from which you had no opportunity to defend yourself? I wouldn't. -Larry
cjsst12@unix.cis.pitt.edu (Carl J Stone) (01/15/91)
In article <29057@usc> mary@mizar.usc.EDU (Mary Froehlig) writes: >I'd appreciate your views and input as to how to deactivate this >situation. It would be best for the office if he just didn't call and >knew he was not welcome to do so. He sounds like a goof ball to me. He is probably dangerous. Follow your instincts. Nobody makes a "Nun or Slut" comment if they are normal. Carl