[soc.feminism] One Woman's Struggle

dgross@polyslo.CalPoly.EDU (Dave Gross) (04/09/91)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
	Here we go again.  My apologies to those of you who saw a
	version of this on soc.women.  Someone at my site wants
	this posted anonymously and has asked me to post it for them.
	This is a forwarded post, so please edit the attribution
	line if you choose to follow-up.  If you want to reply to
	the original poster, please post or swallow it.  If it's
	really urgent, I could forward it, but I would prefer not
	to become a postman for all of the flames this post might
	generate.  My personal opinion is that this article is a
	disgusting pile of sexist rubbish, so don't blame me for
	it if you agree with me.

	My understanding is that this represents three parts of
	a multi-part article that has been circulating through some
	alternative women's publications in California.  I believe
	this is a different version from the one posted to soc.women
	recently.  Sorry about the huge disclaimer.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  One Woman's Struggle
  by Adrianne Hyster

On April 1, 1984, my prison term began.  I was sentenced to ten years
for voluntary manslaughter after poisoning my husband.  That I entered
prison on April Fool's Day was just the punch-line from a smirking
patriarchy that refused to protect me from abuse, but took great
pleasure in punishing me for escaping that abuse.

The years spent before entering prison were, for the most part, a
struggle in survival.  Now that I am in prison, I have time to write.
The paper you are about to read is a celebration of the feminist
movement -- that movement that gave me the strength and motivation I
needed to liberate myself.

Because of a Supreme Court ruling, I, as a prisoner, cannot publish
this under my own name.  I also have changed a few details about my
story so as to avoid reprisals from prison officials.

Because of my position behind bars, it will be difficult for me to
refute the foul legends about my person dished up in the male press.
So read my story with the knowledge that I cannot directly respond to
these attacks.

This paper is not for men; it is for women -- feminist women who
believe in feminism with their hearts and their minds.  When I get out
of prison I will speak to you all, since I know that more can be
conveyed in personal conversation than through writing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I grew up in Berkeley, California, and went through the public schools
at the time when the Universities were in turmoil over free speech and
anti-war issues.  As separate as I was from these activities, I
remember when Ronald Reagan, then governor, tear-gassed the campuses
that were in revolt, and I could not understand the hatred of men.

Dissatisfied with the prospect of being a housewife-slave like my
mother, or a business-oppressor like my father, I decided to become an
artist, and enrolled over the wishes of my parents in an art school.

It was there that two things happened to change my life:
	First:  I was introduced to feminist literature.
	Second:  I met the man who was to be my husband.

I was not very much involved in the political struggles going on at
that time.  As in any struggle, there were the fighters, the lukewarm,
and the traitors.  I was passively lukewarm.  My roommate, however,
was very much a fighter.

"Don't ever forget that you are a woman, of woman born!" she told me,
with such urgency that I knew it was supposed to mean something.  At
the time, it meant nothing to me.

But in a short time I had become a fanatical 'Feminist,' though the
term was not descriptive of what we now know of as radical feminism.

This was a Feminism that still had room for men and still glorified
heterosexuality.  But it represented an elemental cry of women for a
union with the prehistoric matriarchy -- a cry that rose when it
seemed to some people (and certainly to my roommate) that the collapse
of the patriarchy was imminent -- and a longing to return to the
never-forgotten ancestral home.

But those, like my roommate, who bore the burdens of this struggle,
were pained most by the fact that the patriarchy was morally
whitewashed by the seeming alliance with women caused by compulsory
heterosexuality, with the result that the slow extermination and
cooption of feminism was in a certain sense sanctioned by women
themselves.

At the time, none of this was clear to me, and I spurned the advances
of my roommate to eventually marry a male.  Looking back, I realize
now that feminism can only be safeguarded by the destruction of what
is now known as the women's movement -- simply claiming an interest in
"women's issues" is no substitute for feminism -- and that the women's
movement as it is now known is destined to be the misfortune of women.

*******************************************************************************

I will not go into too many details about my courtship and marriage.
It is painful to me still to think about this.  It only needs to be
said that I fell (and notice how applicable that word is) in love --
or into that acquiescence to slavery that the patriarchy drills into
women under the name of love.  Can there be real love between two
people socially destined to be master and slave?  No.  True love
requires people who are equals.

I will say this without reservation: Love between men and women under
the patriarchy is a myth.  There is no such thing, and the pursuit of
this myth is deadly to women's souls.

But I was obviously blind to this truth while I was at school, and it
was only long after I had dropped out that it began to dawn on me that
there was a menace of which I had previously not even known the name,
and whose terrible importance for women I certainly did not
understand: the Patriarchy.

I had loved art, had loved the creation of art which sisters have long
used to keep alive stirrings of the matriarchy (in quilts and other
domestic items whose unspoken message was passed down to women
children through the generations), but had hated art school.  Each day
in class I was taught more and more about MALE artists, MALE-defined
periods of history, and more often than not by MALE professors.  And
each day I was exposed to the female nudes exploited by one century's
or another's pornographers.

And yet there was little protest from the other women classmates.  How
often, even today, does a woman rise in high moral indignation when
they hear some so-called feminist state that it is all the same to her
whether she is a woman or a man, that both are "equal" and that there
is nothing particular about womanhood to be proud of?

How many women are aware of the infinite number of separate memories
in the collective female-goddess psyche of the great potential of our
sex -- our nurturance, our intuition, our connection with Mother Earth
-- whose total result is to inspire them with just pride at being of
womankind?

My marriage offered me an opportunity to drop out of art school, as I
believed as I had been told that my husband would rescue me from
financial worry.  This was not to be.

To me, the Bay Area, which to so many is the epitome of innocent
pleasure, represents, I am sorry to say, merely the living memory of
the saddest period in my life.

*******************************************************************************

What I knew of feminism in my youth was exceedingly little and very
inaccurate.

I was very pleased, of course, about the old battle for sufferage, and
naively thought that women, having gotten the vote, would in a matter
of time change the world.  I reasoned that since the patriarchy
existed by oppressing women, enfranchising women into the patriarchy
would transform it.

Consequently, although I was not an active Feminist (or, as they say
nowadays, "I'm no women's libber, but..."), the activities of
Feminists were not displeasing to me.  And the fact that Feminism, the
old Feminism, strove to improve the conditions of women, as, in my
innocence, I was still stupid enough to believe, likewise seemed to
speak for it rather than against it.

What repelled me most against this brand of Feminism was its hostile
attitude toward the pride of women in favor of some theory of
"equality."  It was only several years later that I was enlightened by
the works of Susan Wolgast, who wrote in "Equality and the Rights of
Women":

	"[A]rguing for women's rights under the banner of equality
	encourages women to identify their interests with those of
	men...

	"In the case of race it seems clear that skin color and hair
	and features are unimportant, being superficial.  They are
	mere physical marks.  Can one say the same about the
	differences of sex?  That is not so clear...

	"To compare sex and race in this way implies that reproductive
	differences and reproduction itself should not much affect
	our social arrangements..."

How absurd it now seems that women should ignore our unique
life-giving abilities and their special sensitivity to the Earth and
her people and to life everywhere, in order that we should claim
"equality" to men -- the life-takers, the Earth-destroyers.

Yet over and over again I heard these women talk about "equality" and
about how we were really no better or no worse than men -- the men
that were at that very moment destroying the earth, killing its
people, and oppressing its women.

It was then that I realized that the Feminist movement had been
coopted virtually from its beginning -- that instead of being a
movement of global transformation, designed to return a deeply
troubled world back to the promise of a peaceful matriarchy; it had
become concerned with capitulation to some idea that women were as
morally inferior as were men.

But to many women, to whom immediate concerns like employment reform,
divorce reform, etc. seemed more promising than a far-off paradise,
this movement was very attractive, despite how much it devalued women.

Not that ALL feminist groups were bad, or that the idea of a women's
movement is bad -- far from it!  There were women at that time --
Valerie Solanis immediately springs to mind -- who had the courage of
their convictions, and the courage to act on them.  But the majority
of feminist groups, including the large ones which grew into groups
like today's NOW, devalued women while they were pretending to uplift
her.

{ Footnote:  I have been made aware that some of my readers may not be
  familiar with Valerie Solanis.  I'll quote an excerpt from something Robin
  Morgan wrote about her:  "Valerie Solanis should be known primarily as an
  artist, not as someone who shot Andy Warhol.  Her filmscripts and other
  writings have not received the attention they deserve.  She is still being
  persecuted by police and `mental health' authorities for her `attempted
  murder' of Warhol, and has been in and out of prisons ever since." }

Let me make this perfectly clear: There is no institution of the
patriarchy -- no court, no legislature, no forum of grievance -- that
CAN be utilized to destroy the patriarchy and allow the matriarchy to
return and flower.  As long as no path within the patriarchy exists,
and there clearly is no such path, the elimination of this evil can
only be decided by superior power.  Women have this power and must use
it.

And it is men who stand in the way.  Only a knowledge of the males
provides the key with which to comprehend the inner, and consequently
real, aims of the most horrible and accomodationist branches of
Feminism.

Today it is difficult for me to say when I first thought of "men" as
the enemy and not as just a generic reference to our species.  True,
throughout youth and school, men were looked at with suspicion.  Our
mothers told us to look out for "strange men" and we often heard
stories about girls being abducted and raped and killed by men.  But
most of us believed then that these men were monsters, like the
villains in fairy tales.  We didn't associate this terror, except
subliminally, with the maleness of the perpetrators.

Men, initially, were characterized for me by little more than their
larger build, their deeper voices, in short the differences in their
bodies.  All else, I suspected, was similar to the rest of us.

But soon I developed doubts.  Men were not simply large women with
different hormones and sex-parts -- they are a people in themselves.
Soon I began to see people as two camps -- men and women -- and not
simply as two fine divisions in a united humanity.

Men and women have, since the destruction of the matriarchy, had
opposing interests.  Women have, for instance, been responsible for
maintaining and nurturing life as all around them, men have been
trying to destroy life.  It looked, to be sure, as though only a part
of the male gender approved of the wanton murder, rape, and
destruction committed by men.  But as Susan Brownmiller discovered,
"Rape is a process by which ALL MEN keep ALL WOMEN in a state of
fear."

And, as Susan Griffin wrote: "Every women has similar stories to tell
-- the first man who attacked her may have been a neighbor, a family
friend, an uncle, her doctor, or perhaps her own father."  Every woman
shares this bond, and every man shares in the benefits of our
oppression.

Susan Griffin again: "[I]n the spectrum of male behavior, rape, the
perfect combination of sex and violence, is the penultimate act...
[I]f the professional rapist is to be separated from the average
dominant heterosexual, it may be mainly a quantitative difference."
And in her concluding paragraph: "[R]ape is not an isolated act that
can be rooted out from patriarchy without ending patriarchy itself.
The same men ... who victimize women [are] engaged in the act of
raping Vietnam, raping black people and the very earth we live upon."

Men even LOOK brutal, and smell brutal, as if they were bred for
brutality.  Was there any form of filth without at least one Man
involved in it?  I ask you "equality"-minded feminists: Do WOMEN jack
off to pornographic torture movies?

It was terrible, that Men, in tremendous numbers, seemed chosen by
Nature for this very sort of thing.

Is this why they fancy themselves "superior?"

I began, after this realization, to examine carefully the names of all
the creators of pornography, of war, of pollution, of oppression in
the history of the world.  The result was less and less favorable for
my previous attitude toward men.

The fact that 99% of all literary filth, global oppression, rape of
the earth, and warfare can be blamed directly on a gender constituting
slightly less than half of the world's population, can not simply be
talked away; it was the plain truth.

A thousand things which I had hardly seen before now struck my notice,
and others, which had previously given me food for thought, I now
learned to grasp and understand.

A cold shudder ran down my back when I would walk down the streets of
San Francisco and recognize that men were the cold-hearted, shameless,
and calculating dictators behind the oppression of the prostitutes
walking the streets for men's pleasures.

It was when I realized that much of the women's movement, like NOW for
instance, was organized to meet men's interests of "equality" that my
long soul struggle had reached its conclusion.

I did not blame the women in these organizations -- they were battling
against a great evil but were blinded by men who told them that their
interests lay against their nature.  It took me a long time to
discover how the patriarchy could make women, seemingly longing for
liberation, heap hatred on their own gender, despising its greatness,
besmirching its herstory, and dragging its great sisters into the
gutter.

It was only when I grasped this uncomfortable thought that I became
thoroughly acquainted with the seducer of womankind.  It is now
becoming more clear to more people.  You will notice that more and
more men, who as I demonstrated earlier have opposing interests to
women, are calling themselves "feminist" and are organizing themselves
in "feminist" organizations.

This male doctrine calling itself "feminism" rejects the principles of
nature that every women knows in her body -- that women are the
natural defenders of life and the earth -- and replaces it with this
revolting philosophy that women are the "equals" of the earth-rapers,
the men.

If, with the help of this male feminism, men are victorious over
women, men will inevitably succeed in their thanatos-oriented quest to
destroy all life on this planet which will then, as it did millions of
years ago, move through space empty and cold.

Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of
the Goddess: by defending myself against men, I am fighting for our
Mother Earth.

*******************************************************************************

Many women have lost their ties to the matriarchy and to the Goddess.
They have lost touch with the Goddess in themselves, and have
forgotten our collective herstory.

More and more women, however, are returning to spiritual womanhood,
and more and more is being communicated about our destiny.  I will
quote here from a perceptive and eloquent spiritual guide who calls
herself "Cathe":

	For 25,000 years before the Sky God, divinity was seen in
	a feminine form.

	In ancient Goddess cultures, creation of the universe was
	seen as happening through the birth process.  The Great
	Mother was the creator of all species and all of life.  She
	was the life force.  The Goddess represented healing,
	harmony, peace, and communal living.

	The Goddess followers led joyous, life-nurturing, peaceful
	lives where women held positions of honor and power.  The
	people celebrated together, purified together, worshipped
	together, rejoyced together, and feasted together.  They
	lived in clan families led by the mothers.  All family
	names, titles, possessions and territorial rights passed
	from the mother to the daughters.

	In ancient times the Goddess represented reverance for the
	Earth and all of life was sacred and celebrated.  Violent
	or destructive behavior was discouraged.  The sacred holy
	days and Sabbaths were practiced by both genders and were
	led by the women.

	Then things changed.  In Europe during the Bronze Age
	(approximately 1500 BC), cultures developed that devoted
	themselves to war.  Men banded together and formed the
	first patriarchal communities.  Invader trives armed with
	weaponry, horses, and war chariots raided villages,
	impregnated women, stole children, and drove the Goddess
	peoples out of their lands.

	The patriarchal invasions occurred over many centuries and
	the matrifocal cultures slowly eroded due to the organized
	warfare.  The males ruled through brute strength and
	aggression.  Thousands of years of women's history and
	culture were lost or taken over by males.

	The early patriarchal ethics based on militaristic values
	and authoritarianism have become the basis of western
	politics, religion and family life.  Since the Bronze Age
	coincided with written history, it seems that we have
	always accepted the patriarchy.  Yet, somehow, the
	memories have been rekindled and women are beginning to
	reclaim the Goddess and their inherent rights to be
	powerful.

Most of the people who call themselves feminists today have drifted
far from their heritage.  In an attempt to win over a larger audience,
they struggle against men only on male terms.  It is obvious that
combatting the patriarchy on such a basis could provide males with
small cause for concern.  At worst, a male could always declare
himself a "feminist" and avoid all further criticism.

The whole movement came to look less and less like a return to the
matriarchy, and more and more like an attempt to convert men to
feminism, or perhaps even an expression of a certain competitive envy.
Lacking was the conviction that this was a vital question for all
humanity, with the fate of all women depending on its solution.

All this time the Feminists thought they had men by the ears, while in
reality they themselves were being led by the nose.  In a short time,
males had become so accustomed to this type of Feminism that they
would have missed its disappearance more than its presence
inconvenienced them.

There is no making pacts with males; there can only be the hard either-or.

*******************************************************************************

All ideas and doctrines run the risk of being seen as purposes in
themselves, and should instead be seen as means to purposes.  For me
and for all true feminists there is but one doctrine: woman.

What we must fight for is to safeguard the existence and reproduction
of our gender and of humanity, the sustenance of our children, the
sanctity of our bodies, the freedom and independence from patriarchal
bonds, so that all women may fulfill the mission allotted them by the
Goddess

Every thought and every idea, every doctrine and all knowledge, must
serve this purpose.


-- 
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- dgross@polyslo.CalPoly.EDU -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I claim that rape exists any time sexual intercourse occurs when it has not
 been initiated by the woman, out of her own genuine affection and desire."
		-- Robin Morgan, current editor of Ms. Magazine, in 1974