[soc.feminism] The basis of choice

mara@cmcl2.NYU.EDU (Mara Chibnik) (04/17/91)

[My deepest apologies for the lateness of posting this.  It came to my
mailbox after I left but before I actually got taken off the
moderator's list.  CTM]


In article <1991Apr4.141938.22268@psych.toronto.edu>
dsy@psych.toronto.EDU (Desiree Sy) writes:

>No one is arguing that we do not make our own choices because an
>amorphous entity called "society" is making choices for us. But
>cultural influences do subconsciously colour our conscious decisions.
>
>For example, Sam Choi says that "even if [men wearing dresses] were
>completely hunky dory [he] wouldn't really want to." Why is this true?

Well, if it were really hunky dory he'd be pretty silly not to.

Some years ago, a friend who'd been living in Morocco came to visit.
She brought my husband and me caftans.  I immediately put mine on,
Marty tried his on, over all the clothing he was already wearing (in
our un-airconditioned NYC apartment in the heat of the summer),
thanked her politely and took it off.  When we were alone I suggested
that he try it on with less stuff underneath.  No way.  I don't
remember what happened that made it be the right moment, but one day
it was clear that his caftan would be perfect for whatever he needed,
and-- grudgingly-- he put it on.  For the first five minutes he looked
down at himself (it looked great on him!) in bewilderment and wonder,
and then just felt at home with it.  He wore it regularly and often
until he wore it out.

Once he got used to it he adopted it as his standard "house wear" when
he needed a coverup to answer the door, or even when we had a few very
close friends over.

The part to focus on is the several months before he could bring
himself to put it on at all.

Why do you suppose that was, hmmm?

--
cmcl2!panix!mara          Mara Chibnik          mara@dorsai.com

"It can hardly be coincidence that no language on earth has ever
produced the expression "As pretty as an airport."      --Douglas Adams

bsstrs@gdt.bath.ac.uk (T R Stickland) (04/19/91)

In article <1991Apr5.110406.3896@panix.uucp> panix!mara@cmcl2.NYU.EDU (Mara Chibnik) writes:
>In article <1991Apr4.141938.22268@psych.toronto.edu>
>dsy@psych.toronto.EDU (Desiree Sy) writes:
>
>>No one is arguing that we do not make our own choices because an
>>amorphous entity called "society" is making choices for us. But
>>cultural influences do subconsciously colour our conscious decisions.
>>
>>For example, Sam Choi says that "even if [men wearing dresses] were
>>completely hunky dory [he] wouldn't really want to." Why is this true?
>
>Well, if it were really hunky dory he'd be pretty silly not to.
>

I've just started reading this newsgroup - only this artcile available,
I can't grasp the thread (exactly)...

Was someone suggesting that costume was dictated by something other than
social convention (i.e. there is another reason for men not wearing
dresses) ?.

Surely not, surely I'm missing something here...
(Seriously I thnk I *must* be!)

Tim


-- 
 #       Tim Stickland  *  Anarcho-Ecologist  *  World's slowest VFR750       #
 #        School of Biological Sciences, University of Bath, Bath, UK.        #
 #            bsstrs%gdr.bath.ac.uk@cs.ucl.ac.uk (well, probably).            #
 # There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side, and the truth #