joan@cs.uri.EDU (Joan Peckham) (05/02/91)
I have an undergraduate student who is working for industry. She
claims that her boss is always pulling on her hair, patting or
stroking her head, etc. If she gets angry and tells him to stop, he
just laughs and thinks it is cute. I have suggested that she do the
same back to him when his colleagues are around to embarass him. She
thinks that is playing with "fire". Maybe she is correct. Although,
I personally have had great success with this approach in the past.
Do any of you have any suggestions? She is a rather shy woman, who is
much younger than the other people she works with. She wants to try
to deal with it on her own first before going over her boss's head.
Joan Peckhamcindy@hpcvia.CV.HP.COM (Cindy_Christensen) (05/04/91)
Although I am not particularly shy, I would tell him that he is invading my personal space and that I find it very rude. Most people, by the third time you tell them they are being rude, back off. Another idea is to physically draw away to indicate your dislike of being touched casually. I also heard a good comeback if you are called "sweetie" or "honey", just say "ok, poopsie" and they shut right up. Good luck! -Cindy
RFM@psuvm.psu.EDU (05/08/91)
>I have an undergraduate student who is working for industry. She >claims that her boss is always pulling on her hair, patting or >stroking her head, etc. If she gets angry and tells him to stop, he >just laughs and thinks it is cute. I have suggested that she do the >same back to him when his colleagues are around to embarass him. She >thinks that is playing with "fire". Maybe she is correct. Although, >I personally have had great success with this approach in the past. > >Do any of you have any suggestions? She is a rather shy woman, who is >much younger than the other people she works with. She wants to try >to deal with it on her own first before going over her boss's head. The *BEST* advice you can give a woman experiencing these kinds of harassing behaviors is to contact the (local/state) human relations commission. Those folks are trained in handling such situations. The advice you did give her wasn't worth diddly-squat. The boss in this case is violating criminal laws (assault - the unwanted touching) and civil laws (the state's human relations/civil rights statutes). Any *informal* response she makes to his behavior leaves her open to continued harassment and/or future retribution. In addition to this *BEST* advice, the *BEST* action you could undertake would be to find out name/address/phone number of the state human relations commission and point the girl toward them. Maybe accompany her on initial visit. BobM