[soc.feminism] How Men React to Women who Speak Up

erspert@athena.mit.EDU (06/07/91)

A few days ago, I sent the following message to alt.peeves:

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Article 5419 (129 more) in alt.peeves:
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.english.usage,soc.women
From: erspert@athena.mit.edu (Ellen R. Spertus)
(SAME) Subject: Some of us have two X chromosomes (was Re: rug rat video)
Message-ID: <1991Jun2.215530.16961@athena.mit.edu>
Sender: news@athena.mit.edu (News system)
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
References: <1984@bbxsda.UUCP> <1991May31.111328@wsl.dec.com>
Distribution: na
Date: Sun, 2 Jun 91 21:55:30 GMT
Lines: 21

In article <1991May31.111328@wsl.dec.com> sfisher@wsl.dec.com (Scott Fisher) wri
tes:

>Ob. peeve: people who put more worth on watching the TV two months
>later than they do on enjoying real life as it happens.  This is the
>moral equivalent of hiring someone to fuck your bride on your honeymoon
>so you can take pictures of it and remember what it must have been like
>for the people who were really experiencing it.

My pet peeve is people who write as though all of their readers are
going to be male.  Yo, some of us aren't going to have wives, because
we're *women*.  I really don't know what's going through people's
heads when they write "your wife", "your bride", etc., to members of a
co-ed group.

I don't mean to pick on sfisher (who probably expected to be flamed
for vulgarity, rather than unintentional sexism).  You can see this
same mistake all over.

Please direct any follow-ups to the correct group.

                                        Ellen Spertus

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Since my complaint was polite, I expected disagreement to be polite or
at least no ruder than the smears one usually sees on the net.
Instead, I was viciously flamed, repeatedly, by sfisher@wsl.dec.com,
in an extremely sexist manner.  Another alt.peeves reader also flamed
me.

I urge soc.feminism readers to go over to alt.peeves and read the
follow-ups to my message (crossposted to alt.flame).  They are
absolutely unbelievable.  I had been one of the most conservative
feminists you could imagine, but now I believe there exist men who
would viciously attack a woman who speaks up in their territory.
(Prof. Perry, Prof. Turkle, Are you out there?  You were right.)

I will add that I was not hurt by the flames, only weirded-out.  I
truly feel sorry for the poster and, especially, for any women who
have to deal with him.  I really had not known that people like him
existed.  Three cheers for the men I've dealt with in the past!

					Ellen Spertus