jmoon@lehi3b15.csee.lehigh.edu (Jonggu Moon [890911]) (09/02/90)
"Women would rather be pretty than intelligent because men can see better than they can think." - anon What about those of us who would really like to have an SO and have tried and tried, but cannot because we don't fit the current standards of beauy and attractiveness ? There are some that say that its a moot point because beauty is not definied by the skin in the Kingdom of Heaven. But that is skirting the issue because the fact is that there are Christians who are lonely because they are not pretty. And the only reason that I can think of as to why God lets this go on is because this is a fallen world. The corrupt will get rich, the righteous will be troddened and people will be born maimed, cripple, stupid and ugly. Not because there is some necessary master plan to all of this, but because this world is unfair. I live my days, sometimes worrying that I will spent the later 50% of my life old and alone. Well so be it. If what'shisname can live confined to an iron lung because his face and chest was horribly disfigured in an accident, and still praise God, and if what'shername can live on welfare with six kids and a husband who rarely comes home and beats her when he does, and still praise God, well heck,then I can live as cheeply as one, spend my evenings in Church activities, eat my breakfast alone and still praise God. Why ? I don't know. If I knew, I would have accomplished something by now. ^>*<^ jon
David.Anderson@cs.cmu.edu (09/04/90)
Lynn, here. While I agree that many people *at first* (and likely unconsciously) tend to ascribe various intangible qualities of personality to people based on physical appearance, getting to know someone provides the basis for being able to look beyond whatever physical imperfections, real or imagined, that person may have. And we all have some. If one is doing as much as one can to optimize their appearance (I am not talking Bakker makeup, here, but cleanliness, perhaps a reasonably nice haircut if one can afford it or find someone to do it, wearing clean clothing that is not outlandish), doing their best to cultivate a nice personality, and trying to live to please the Lord (which, IMHO, includes *serving* others less fortunate, not just having fun at social activities), one will have *friends.* Maybe some of those friends will turn into romantic possibilities, but (as we all know) such things aren't so simple. What I'm suggesting is that if one is really doing everything they can to be an attractive person--which goes *way* beyond their physiognomy--they will be attractive. And then there's the possibility to consider that these "ugly" people may well harbor prejudice against others whom they themselves consider ugly, thereby further cutting themselves off from others. (It was always amazing to me how many physically unattractive men of my acquaintance wouldn't date or try to date anyone that didn't live up to an unrealistically high standard of beauty. Two-faced, indeed!) Love can make *anyone* beautiful to the lover.
moy@acf4.nyu.edu (Gloria Moy) (09/14/90)
This is to Higgy.... Perhaps this is an inappropriate place for this, but I have been trying to send you mail, but have been unable to. Anyway, I worked with you at Word of Life CAmp in 1979 at the INN. I worked in housekeeping and I think you worked in the dish pit. Anyway, e mail me if you see this message. my e mail is moy@acf4.nyu.edu. love to hear from you. -gloriA
gross@dg-rtp.dg.com (Gene Gross) (09/17/90)
[Jonggu Moon [890911]) asked about those who would like to have an SO but can't because they don't fit current standards of beauty. Sherry Ellington comments on the importance people place on beauty, citing personal ads. She is particularly upset at ads for Christian male or female companions specifying tiny and petite or handsome and strong. Christ looks upon the heart. --clh] Paul writes telling us to take on this mind, which is the mind of Christ. That is. we should draw close to the Lord daily and let His will become ours. In doing this, we begin to see things as our Father sees them. This means that we begin to see sin from His viewpoint. We begin to see others as He sees them, and loves them. And the more we see, the more we draw closer to Him who loved us and gave himself for us. Now there is a passage in Isaiah that speaks of Jesus (Isa. 53:1-12). In verse 2, the Lord God says, "...he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him." This doesn't sound like Jesus was to be physically handsome, rather it sounds like He was to be like most of us--rather plain, if not a bit ugly. I know this is not the mental image that many have, nor is the way Jesus has been portrayed in films or artwork. Nonetheless, this is what the Word of the living God says. The beauty of Jesus, our Lord and Savior, was internal. And this is where our beauty is, as well. So then, why do Christians look to the outside for beauty? Could it be that the world still has influence? I'm not saying that there is something wrong with physical beauty, but if that is all that interests a person what a shallow life. Among the Amish, Mennonites, and Brethren there is a saying when complementing a person on their looks--you look plain. It is a nice thing to have said about you. One last thing. When we come to the Lord, do you suppose that He is impressed with our finery, our jewelry, our wonderful make-up, our great tan; or do you suppose that He looks into our hearts to see what we are really like? If He looks to the inside, where should we spend the most time working? For His glory, Gene Gross