[soc.religion.christian] Divorce

wdt@attctc.dallas.tx.us (William Trent) (01/18/90)

		I have a question in reference to the issue of divorce as
	stated in Matt. 19:9. If two people, both of which have been married
	before, enter into marriage with each other, both of whom being member
	of the body of Christ before the second marriage. Is it required of
	them to dissolve this second marriage in order not to be living in 
	sin? The first marriage being dissolved for other reasons than
	adultery.

[(1) some groups allow remarriage after divorce.  It's now fairly
common to take the view that while divorce is a bad thing, sometimes
the alternative is even worse.  Normally groups that allow divorce
also allow remarriage.
(2) even groups that prohibit remarriage after divorce might well
take the view that in the situation you mention a second divorce
would only make things worse.  This would be particularly true if
there were children from the second marriage.
(3) There's an axiom in chess: "There is no good move from a bad
position".  There may be situations where it is impossible to avoid
sin, and one can only try to find the least bad result.  From the
point of view of people who reject remarriage after divorce, this
situation would be an example of that.  In that case, may I suggest
that it would probably be a mistake to suggest solving this problem
by invoking rules.  Let me suggest that it would have to be solved
by the people involved, after prayer and counselling with people who 
know them.  --clh]

geoff@pmafire.inel.gov (Geoff Allen) (12/06/90)

HWT@bnr.ca (H.W.) writes:
>A friend of mine (or was it in this group?) told me about a priest whose
>marriage preparation classes resulted in 50% of the couples deciding not
>to get married.  I suspect that those who went ahead had far fewer divorces.
>It is, in general, easy to get married, even easy to get a church wedding.
>Most priests don't seem eager to probe the nature of the relationship
>carefully, either in formal marriage preparation courses or informally.

Before he'll perform a wedding our pastor requires:

	Both persons have placed their trust in Jesus.

	The couple will have been dating one another *exclusively* for
	at least 1 year by the time of the wedding.

	The couple will have been engaged for at least 6 months by the
	time of the wedding. 

	The couple has had at least 1 fight.

He also requires 6 weeks of pre-marital counseling, which deals with
everything from sex and finances to the basic difficulites of getting
two sinners of different sexes to live together, understand each other,
and get along. :^)  It's pretty thouough. 

The last thing he wants to do is help anyone rush into marriage.

>I think it should be at least as hard to get married as it is to get divorced.

Absolutely.

Semi-amusing anecdote: When my wife and I went to get our Marriage
License, there was a sign in the office that said ``Marriage License:
$25.  No checks.'' Below this, someone had penciled in ``Divorce:
$250,000.  Cash.''

(Dollar values mentioned here are best guesses based on fuzzy 4-year-old
memory, but you get the idea.)

--
Geoff Allen          \  Since we live by the Spirit, 
uunet!pmafire!geoff   \  let us keep in step with the Spirit.
geoff@pmafire.inel.gov \                   --  Gal. 5:25 (NIV)