irani@brahms.udel.edu (Jennifer Irani) (03/25/91)
I attended a Walk Thru the Bible seminar this past weekend where the seminar instructor told numerous jokes. In fact, he kept us laughing almost the entire time! Here are two of my favorite jokes he told while teaching us about the Old Testament. They went something like this: After Samuel came: Saul, no heart David, whole heart Solomon, half heart and Bob, Newhart! Moses had to put up with the complaining of his people for years in the desert. When he finally went to God, he said, "These people are giving me a headache!" And the Lord said, "Take two tablets..." Jokes aside, I learned loads and would recommend the seminar for everyone!
jsast@unix.cis.pitt.edu (Johann) (03/27/91)
Here is one of my favorite jokes. It has helped me in a number of situations: One day a very good Christian gentleman found himself in a flood. As the water rose up around his house, he prayed to God that he would be delivered. As the man was praying, a car drove by. The man in the car yelled, "Hey you, come with us!" The Christian looked up and yelled, "No, you go find someone else. God will save me." Soon the water was up to his door. The Christian ran upstairs to continue praying for deliverance. As he was praying, a boat came by. The man in the boat yelled, "Hey you! Come get in the boat and save yourself!". The Christian stopped praying long enough to scream back, "Go find someone else... God will not leave me here alone!" Well, the water was getting higher so the Christian went up to his roof to continue asking God for help. When he got there, a helicopter flew by. The man in the helicopter threw down a rope and yelled, "Quick! Climb up! You'll drown soon!". Again, the Christian yelled, "Don't worry about me. God will save me!" Needless to say, the man died. When he finally got to heaven, he met up with the savior and got his chance to ask why God hadn't delivered him as promised. Our lord looked the man square in the face and asked, "I don't know what more I could have done for you? I sent you a car, a boat, and a helicopter... Why didn't you get in them?" -Jon Anderson
MAS139@psuvm.psu.edu (04/01/91)
[I believe this refers to the joke about the man who refuses all assistance in a flood, claiming that God will save him. --clh] Sure that seems humorous but that does happen. I've seen it and I feel it is a major flaw in religions worshipping *higer beings*.