psburns@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (MAUREEN BURNS) (04/01/91)
As a little aside on the dating issue, if I were to start dating a baby Christian who is maybe about 6 months old in the Lord, what is my role as an older, more mature (about 5 years) Christian woman in the relationship? It is my deepest desire to have a mate who is the spiritual head of the family, who has a passion for God's word, has a vibrant prayer life, and has a desire for involvement in some kind of ministry. Am I expecting too much too soon from a young Christian? Am I to simply encourage and suggest, or am I too be responsible for discipling such a man? How can I encourage him without stripping him of dignity, or robbing him of the opportunity to let God teach him some lessons, painful as they may be? I've been in this situation before, and it's really obvious to me that I made some pretty bad mistakes, even though I really thought I was doing it right. I've brought this issue to Jesus so often in prayer, and He's been faithful to answer my prayers, but as the Scriptures go: "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. " Can someone sharpen me please? Thanks muchly!! Maureen [In I Cor 7:16 Paul obviously forsees the possibility that a wife may help lead her husband to faith, but of course that's a rather different situation than yours. I'm probably not the right person to give advice on marriage and dating, but I wonder whether it make sense to "disciple" either a husband or wife. I'm not sure quite what you have in mind by the term, but if you're thinking of a role of spiritual advisor or counsellor, I'd think this would demand a kind of objectivity that would be hard to reconcile with the role of husband or wife, just as it's generally a bad idea for doctors to treat their family, etc. Of course you should care about the spiritual development of your spouse, and you should try to be helpful, but it sounds like you have in mind a bit more formal sort of responsibility. --clh] give --clh]
sl87m@cc.usu.edu (The Barking Pumpkin Digital Gratification Ensemble) (04/04/91)
In article <Apr.1.01.19.00.1991.6603@athos.rutgers.edu>, psburns@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (MAUREEN BURNS) writes: > As a little aside on the dating issue, if I were to start dating a baby > Christian who is maybe about 6 months old in the Lord, what is my role as > an older, more mature (about 5 years) Christian woman in the relationship? > It is my deepest desire to have a mate who is the spiritual head of the > family, who has a passion for God's word, has a vibrant prayer life, and > has a desire for involvement in some kind of ministry. Am I expecting too much > too soon from a young Christian? Am I to simply encourage and suggest, or > am I too be responsible for discipling such a man? How can I encourage him > without stripping him of dignity, or robbing him of the opportunity to let > God teach him some lessons, painful as they may be? > I've been in this situation before, and it's really obvious to me that I > made some pretty bad mistakes, even though I really thought I was doing it > right. I've brought this issue to Jesus so often in prayer, and He's been > faithful to answer my prayers, but as the Scriptures go: "As iron sharpens > iron, so one man sharpens another. " Can someone sharpen me please? > > Thanks muchly!! > Maureen Example is the best way to instruct another, especially in interpersonal matters. If I want to encourage her to read the scriptures, I read them. Ofttimes she asks if I'll read out loud. If I want to encourage her to think about what she's read, I query her on what she's read, or we read them together, and we state our thoughts. I learn as much from her as she does from me. Of course, there are times when instruction is needed, but instruction without using it is hypocracy. Instruction when it isn't needed is nagging, falling on deaf ears. With spiritual instruction, what I mentioned before works for us wonderfully. Allowing a loved one to make their own choices, and allowing the consequences to fall is difficult. With my wife, I pepper her with questions designed to make her think of various aspects of the situation - How do feel? What do you think about it? Why? What would happen if you did that? What alternatives can you think of? etc. etc. I may know better, or have strong feelings about it, but I leave them out. The decision is hers. If she gets burned by the decision, I hurt greatly, but love her no less. TZMattareyay