jdd (01/17/83)
For the last three years I've entered (and enjoyed) the "St. Valentine's Day
Massacre", an annual pseudo-road rally played at home on a Rand McNally Road
Atlas. The rally has eight progressively harder Legs, taking players over a
tortuous route from the Statue of Liberty to the Golden Gate Bridge. The
rally has several Basic [meta-] Rules governing the interpretation of the
rally instructions, with questions along the way to test your abilities to
follow the instructions and to read maps (by the third Leg I usually begin
to suspect significant brain damage on my part).
The Massacre is a competition: after completing it (ho ho), you send in your
answers (unless you're too ashamed to) and later receive your ranking and a
possible certificate or prize.
You can enter the Massacre by sending $27.50 to:
St. Valentine's Day Massacre
P.O. Box 53
La Can~ada, CA 91011
Answer forms are due at the end of February, a little later than St.
Valentine's. The Massacre can take a fair amount of time but it can be
great fun, especially with a friend.
Below is the beginning of Leg 1, to give a flavor of the Masacre. The first
Leg also has commentary to help novices.
Cheers,
John ("Okay, Let's Get Out the Colored Pencils!") DeTreville
Bell Labs, Murray Hill
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Leg 1
by Jim Sinclair
* New York to Peshtigo *
1. Here at Statue of Liberty Nat'l. Mon. (P-8) on page 65) on an early
winter morn you're watching the waves lap at the rocks on the east side
of Liberty I. when ho! a small bark heaves into view and sends a party
ashore in a dinghy.
'Captain's salutations,' says the mate. 'We're sailing up this great
streame out of the bay. Might you join us?'
Need ask but once, so soon you're sailing northeasterly through "Hudson"
and past Henry Hudson Pkwy., N. Hudson Park, and Hudson Piver Mus. As
the flood tide slackens, the captain (didn't catch his name) puts ashore
on the east bank. Wandering awhile in this land of surpassing beauty
and fertility, you arrive at Hastings-on-Hudson.
'Welcome to New World Motors! Henry Hudson XVII's the name! A car
you'll need! A car we've got! A Hornet V-12 de Luxe!'
Admirable choice, you agree, as you head southeast upon Farragut Pkwy.
in your shiny black Hornet.
COMMENTARY: This first instruction gets us underway, into a car, and onto a
road.
2. After having gone through "Yonkers", go left on Pkwy. whose name is
different from that of the Pkwy. you're traveling on.
COMMENTARY: [This] may be the toughest of Leg 1; at least it calls for a lot
of early alertness. First we have gone through the printed work "Yonkers"
(Basic Rule 4/b on page 5), which we do after using course-following rule d
(ahead, as described on page 3) at the junction where Farragut Pkwy. hits
Saw Mill River Pkwy. Then, at the interchange with Cross County Pkwy., we
\could/ execute #2 except for one thing: course-following rule c (page 3)
specifies travel in the \same/ direction. This situation is just like page
4's example at York. So we use rule c to go east, and execute #2 at
interchange 7, on Bronx River Pkwy. Note the word \on/; it triggers
course-following rule b, as described on page 3. Look carefully to note
where Bronx River Pkwy. goes at the next interchange.
... and so on.